News Human Rights For Sex Offenders

[anthony]

It's important not to turn an offender into a victim, because this simply perpetuates a behavioral Ponzi Scheme where those at the "top" are both safe from abuse and free from accountability. It also perpetuates the cycle of offense into the future.

Absolutely. Saying that, some offenders are victims and they're perpetuating the abuse cycle due to their abuse alone, usually having failed obtaining help.

 

[hodge]

I can understand that, Anthony, but really only on an intellectual level. I've been a victim and I've never, ever had any thought about harming anyone else, even before I got treatment, the worst I did was yell at my hubby occasionally. I think there is something fundamentally wrong with people who do perpetuate abuse.

 

[hodge]

I really think that most of us PTSD sufferers are not abusers. I don't have a clue where they come from or why or how, but they are just different from most of us. No empathy. Narcissistic perhaps.

 

[anthony]

but they are just different from most of us.

Absolutely this applies to some, but I think this is forced upon some also, who perpetuate the abuse cycle.

If those who are abused didn't perpetuate due to the abuse alone, we wouldn't have this thing called the abuse cycle.

It's human psychology, for the most part. If you grow-up in a home where the dad beats the mum, and this happens regularly and in front of the kids, then whether the kids are male or female, some will perpetuate this cycle.

A male child may grow and think this is acceptable to treat his future partners, he may not.

A female may grow to accept this from her male partners, as this is the environment she grew within.

The abuse cycle touches both victims and perpetrators, in some cases, not all. I do believe this can be used as an excuse also, though there are plenty of cases I have discussed with people here who I firmly believe committed acts due to their abuse, as they had similar acts committed to themselves. Such things come naturally because the brain has been hard wired at some level to accept them, especially when done in childhood.

Ignorance is a classic one that many discard. A wife knows their husband is sexually their child, yet ignores it, thinks it will go away, completely discards the act occurring to her own child. Is she a victim or an abuser? She is certainly allowing the abuse, so she has some role in being the abuser. Yet is she also feeling threatened in the way a DV women does? She feels family is more important, OR, what will she do without her husband? How will she survive? These very questions are the same questions women stay in DV situations, yet they are the victim in those cases.

So would this make a mother ignoring, in denial, the abuse of her child, an abuser and victim?

I think there are plenty of cases where legitimate abusers are also victims.

If you told me a child who had a good upbringing, nothing highly traumatic, and they abused kids as an adult... then absolutely, refer to my earlier comments.

I think it's a tough approach to paint everyone with the same brush.

 

[Friday]

I think it's a tough approach to paint everyone with the same brush.

& then one also has children monkey-see monkey-do / in real time version of cycle of abuse. The baby being molested by the 3yo, who is being molested by the 8yo, who is being molested by the 14yo, who is being molested by the 30yo. (And I wish to hell the 30yo could be charged with every count. Talk about fruit from the poison tree.).

Each and every single one of those kids are victims, all but one acting out the abuses they're suffering.

At a certain point, one grows up enough, that they're no longer victims, but offenders. Acting, not reacting. Where that line is? I don't know.

 

[Kintsugi]

@FridayJones, great post. I always said, ever since I disclosed, that I could forgive my brother for his offenses because he was a child, too (and this, before I knew he had been abused as well by our foster brother). What I did not forgive was the fact that he never said he was sorry, never showed remorse, never meaningfully took accountability at all for my suffering.

ETA: I am basically certain he continued offending and that he is an offending... Hebephile? (Adolescents/young teens?)

 

[Friday]

These very questions are the same questions women stay in DV situations, yet they are the victim in those cases.

DV can be murky as hell.

Especially since leaving doesn't stop the abuse, and in many cases, it what allows it to start in the first place... When courts grant custody to the abuser. People want to believe all a parent has to do is leave & take their kids with them. If only it were that simple.

 

[Lionheart]

I do not understand why some people that suffered child abuse become abuse perps and some do not.

I was sexually molested, abused and was a victim of incest and also witnessed the beating and rape of my own mother, by my father, etc. but I never once thought to abuse someone else.

Why did I take it out on myself rather than becoming an abuse perpetrator? What makes someone choose to abuse while others do not?

I think rehabilitation might be the answer for some abuse perps, but that others need to be kept from society for life. Maybe if I understood why some choose to abuse then I might think differently about their human rights.

 

[Anarchy]

Yes, some turn things in on them selves, others turn them out and blame or abuse others.

 

[anthony]

You just have the right words @Anarchy. Simple, well said.

 

[Mit]

I think it's a tough approach to paint everyone with the same brush

I can so relate to this. I was 'labelled' as being a 'potential risk' by social services because I re-enacted experiences of childhood trauma that were sexual in nature. I had done this since I was a teenager, in private and always on my own. No one ever suggested what I was doing was illegal but in the opinion of the social workers it was a slippery slope. So they told our friends who had their own kids that I was a 'potential' risk, sexually, to children. I was judged and condemned for something I had yet to do, and I knew could never do. That was five years ago and the majority of those friends have withdrawn all contact and are hostile to me, my partner and our children.

If you were to ask these 'former friends' I suspect they would agree with the view that all sex offenders are incapable of being rehabilitated, and should be shot. I also suspect that they would include me in that judgement.

In order to prove I wasn't a risk I was required to be assessed by an expert who worked with sex offenders. I spent five days with this man. He worked with serious sex offenders within the probation service and with people guilty of more minor offences and was and is very well regarded nationally for his work. He told me that it was his direct experience that some sex offenders could be rehabilitated and some could not. He was a very compassionate man, who seemed to have a deep understanding of the impact of trauma and abuse on people's lives and the motivations of offenders. He was able to help me see the source of my trauma and direct me to seek help. He confirmed I wasn't a risk in any way and enabled us to be free from social services, but sadly not until after enormous damage had been done to my family and put our children at risk of isolation and bullying.

I believe I was a victim of the 'no smoke without fire', and painting all with the same brush outlook, fostered by incompetent social workers and friends who believed them and perpetuated by the media . Sex offenders should be subject to the full force of the criminal justice system and where the offence or on-going risk justifies it, they should never be released. But I also believe that for some rehabilitation is possible, especially in the case of non contact offenders. I don't think we can simply arrest our way out of this and need to develop schemes such as in Germany where people who feel they might be a risk can self refer for help, before they offend and destroy lives. I think both approaches are needed.

Yes, some turn things in on them selves, others turn them out and blame or abuse others.

Exactly, spot on. I turned it in on myself, I can see that now.

But.....if anybody abused my own kids I admit I'm not sure what I might do to them......

 

[Lionheart]

@Mit That just sucks royally that you were put through that type of treatment!!! I acted out sexually due to sexual abuse trauma at a young age, but I turned it in on myself and would never abuse a child. Still I have had people say that I was an abuser because of my abuse history and it really hurt me to know that they thought that way about me....I can't imagine how horrible it must have been for you!

The thing that I still don't understand is, ...the why of it. Why do some of us turn it against ourselves while some abuse others? I think understanding this might go along way in helping society understand that not every abused person becomes a perpetrator of sexual abuse.

PS: I am sorry if this has already been answered in this thread as I haven't read it all.