What Are Some Of The Excuses People Use To Justify Abuse?

[emathis2013]

"You antagonized me "

 

[FogAndClouds]

"It's your own fault, no one can stand you" (beating)
"Stop crying or I give you a reason to cry" in addition to "You are so cold/empty, you aren't even crying" (crying made him angry, not crying too, really confusing)
"My father did a lot more, this is nothing, you are just oversensitive/hysteric/a sissy"
"You like pain or else you wouldn't stay" <- that was a good one
"You are so obnoxious/vain/crazy, no wonder that you don't have friends/get beaten up" (after an assault from classmates)
"You haven't cried? Then it wasn't hard enough so you don't have the right to cry now" (different occasions)
"He never touched me and my father gave me slaps too, it's normal" (my mother after I begged her to get a divorce, "slaps" seems to be a matter of interpretation)
"You followed me own you own will, I didn't force you to do anything" (yes, shame on me for trusting adults as a kid, how dare I)
"You are a nutjob but fun to be around, I can do whatever I want to you and you never leave so it's fine" (girlfriend after beating me up for fun)
"That all happens to you because you are crazy/evil"

These are my personal favourites.

 

[Stickler]

I got the " I'll GIVE you something to cry about!" line from my dad. If he slapped me, I had to keep an emotionless face.
Mom wanted me to cry, though, when she verbally abused me and slapped me?
But he hit harder.

I actually wanted to mimic the amount of force they used to hit me in the face with when I was 6 and 7? As an adult. Just to see, you know?

It required a big city phone directory, swung at my own face with both hands, to smack myself across the face that hard, to create the sting, the way it shifted my jaw painfully, the glowing, pulsing imprint on my face, the dizzy feel of getting my head knocked sideways.

...We ( in my head ) figured out they hurt us because they wanted to.

We decided that we caused their behavior.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

There is no excuse. Physical wounds may heal, but emotional wounds from abuse can last for a lifetime.

 

[FogAndClouds]

@Stickler

We decided that we caused their behavior.

No, you didn't.
Even if you were a difficult child, your parents are adults and it's their own choice how to react to your behaviour.
Slapping/beating whatever is not the right way to handle a child and everyone knows that for sure, so it's not your fault that they have chosen a completely wrong path.
It was their decision and nothing can justify what they have done.
You said "we figured out they hurt us because they wanted to" and THAT is true. It had nothing to do with what you did. They just wanted to handle you like this. Nothing more.