What Does Your Therapist Do Or Say That You Find Helpful?

[Deleted member 29920]

I was wondering what it is that they say or do that helps you?

 

[digger]

I think the most important/helpful thing I get from my therapist is validation.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

It is understandable you feel this way, you may not feel like this will ever pass, but we've gotten through tough times before, we'll work together to get through this, too.

That and "Where does the blame really belong?"

 

[illusionist]

Questioned my thinking so that I could see where my thought processes were wrong.

 

[PTSDbegone]

I like that she says she'll never give up on me. I gave up on myself long ago.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I like that she says she'll never give up on me.

Mine says that, too. That's a really good one.

 

[Ellabella44]

If I seem to get stuck in anxiety, she makes me do something physical to distract away from it. Yep sometimes it's weird like hitting a balloon, bubbles, moving to a different seat. But it snaps me out of that mode.

She also won't give up on me, calls me on bullsh*t when I'm feeling most like drinking again or finding some other way to escape. My bad addiction days she makes me go over my plan of action to avoid it.

 

[barefoot]

Ooh, good question...there are lots of things that I value about mine...

I appreciate that she gives me full permission to just "be however I need to be" at any point in any session. And that she encourages me to just 'accept that that's how it is at the moment" when, for instance, I start getting frustrated with myself about how I'm being in sessions (such as when I can't speak and then feel furious with myself afterwards for "wasting time").

It means a lot to me that she keeps very healthy boundaries - but that she will also go above and beyond if she thinks it's in service to her client.

It helps that she offers new perspectives – particularly when I'm not showing myself much self-compassion – but she does it in a non-judgemental way i.e. she doesn't generally make me "wrong" in a critical sense.

And I kind of like the fact that she still, every week, asks me towards the start of the session "how are you feeling/how have you been feeling?" Even though I never have an answer beyond 'fine' or 'ok'. For a while, this irritated me a bit because I used to feel uncomfortable about the fact that I didn't ever have a "good enough" answer. Now, I sort of like that she gently perseveres with it – it makes me think that maybe one day 1) I'll really know how I feel in that moment and 2) I will be able to express it to her.

I like that she is very present energetically.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

( @barefoot, thanks, is your therapist private or nhs? )

 

[barefoot]

@Cj77 - she's private.
And I realise that probably helps with lots of the things I like about working with her...for instance, that there's no rush or pressure....that she's happy to sit in silence if that's what I need...that she'll spend loads of time helping me to ground when I feel like I'm I'm on the ceiling...we're very much working at my place. Which is slooooow! I guess if I saw someone on the NHS we'd have a very limited number of sessions so that would probably be a different experience?

 

[barefoot]

I meant working at my pace, not my place! She doesn't pop over to my house - that would mean pretty wobbly boundaries! ;-)

 

[Suzetig]

She is accepting of me however I am, is committed to working with me for as long as I need her, at my pace and in my time. She challenges me when I need it, but is always caring of me. She makes herself available if I feel like I'm in crisis, is always responsive to me and goes over session time occasionally if I need settled before I leave.

Mostly though, she just gets me, she can tell if I'm struggling, is very attuned to me and is so valuing of me. I wouldn't be where I am without her support.