Whether it's appropriate to call it isolation or solitude at different times, I respectfully have a few questions to ask of veterans in particular, who are willing to answer. I realize that every person is different, so all the answers may be interesting!
That being said, my guy is one who says what he means. Where some might be in danger and in need of immediate medical attention if they let the world drop off for awhile, I truly believe he's going to be fine.
How long do you usually isolate? What gets the urge started?
Are there stages to it for you, such as
1. Dropping off social media slowly, changing your email and phone, etc.
2. Running into the next new scene, new relationship (or series of one night stands), leaving a geographical area, switching jobs, etc. Major changes, in other words.
3. Finally cutting off everyone who would normally be those few kept close (parent, sibling, significant other). No contact whatsoever, where there once was a drive to stay connected to at least one person.
Do you sleep a lot? Work a lot? Get creative? Get shit-housed? Knit? Write? Hunt? What do you do?
What causes you to come out of it again?
When you do, if you find that your current significant other is still there, do you initiate contact and physically return? If so, what can he or she do to assist you best?
If you don't want to return, what is your motivation for not doing so (assuming the s.o. would be a good, healthy connection, of course)?
If you're the kind of person who wants to be left the hell alone, and if this has been respected no matter how fearful your s.o. has become, does that help your trust levels return when you emerge?
Yes, I know that respecting his wishes to not be hunted down, knowing what I do about him and his state of mind (and approximate location) could be viewed as irresponsible of me to not report certain behavior. I'm a therapists worst nightmare on the support side of the fence, I'm certain. No, I will not do what the book says to do!
Because it's not my choice. If he wants to be dirty and unshaven, drunk or sober, medicated or not, in fights, safe or not, screwing strangers, learning to crochet, staring at the floor grow mold, or even alive, it's all his choice. It's finally, finally his choice. And he knows I love him anyhow.
Respect is a huge thing between us. As is non-judgment. This comes natural to both of us independently, as it does together. We are each other's confidant, and while I was the last person he stopped speaking to a couple of weeks ago, I must emphasize that it's not about me right now. So I'd prefer not to address what his decisions might be doing to me. That's my bag to handle, as they say. Hence the questions directed this way, instead of at him. He and I will talk one day at the fire pit. Some day.
I'm sure I have more brewing somewhere. This is all going toward better understanding for me, so I thank you sincerely!
That being said, my guy is one who says what he means. Where some might be in danger and in need of immediate medical attention if they let the world drop off for awhile, I truly believe he's going to be fine.
How long do you usually isolate? What gets the urge started?
Are there stages to it for you, such as
1. Dropping off social media slowly, changing your email and phone, etc.
2. Running into the next new scene, new relationship (or series of one night stands), leaving a geographical area, switching jobs, etc. Major changes, in other words.
3. Finally cutting off everyone who would normally be those few kept close (parent, sibling, significant other). No contact whatsoever, where there once was a drive to stay connected to at least one person.
Do you sleep a lot? Work a lot? Get creative? Get shit-housed? Knit? Write? Hunt? What do you do?
What causes you to come out of it again?
When you do, if you find that your current significant other is still there, do you initiate contact and physically return? If so, what can he or she do to assist you best?
If you don't want to return, what is your motivation for not doing so (assuming the s.o. would be a good, healthy connection, of course)?
If you're the kind of person who wants to be left the hell alone, and if this has been respected no matter how fearful your s.o. has become, does that help your trust levels return when you emerge?
Yes, I know that respecting his wishes to not be hunted down, knowing what I do about him and his state of mind (and approximate location) could be viewed as irresponsible of me to not report certain behavior. I'm a therapists worst nightmare on the support side of the fence, I'm certain. No, I will not do what the book says to do!
Because it's not my choice. If he wants to be dirty and unshaven, drunk or sober, medicated or not, in fights, safe or not, screwing strangers, learning to crochet, staring at the floor grow mold, or even alive, it's all his choice. It's finally, finally his choice. And he knows I love him anyhow.
Respect is a huge thing between us. As is non-judgment. This comes natural to both of us independently, as it does together. We are each other's confidant, and while I was the last person he stopped speaking to a couple of weeks ago, I must emphasize that it's not about me right now. So I'd prefer not to address what his decisions might be doing to me. That's my bag to handle, as they say. Hence the questions directed this way, instead of at him. He and I will talk one day at the fire pit. Some day.
I'm sure I have more brewing somewhere. This is all going toward better understanding for me, so I thank you sincerely!
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