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Relationship Not Technically A Supporter Anymore

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medley29

Bronze Member
Asked my sufferer on Thanksgiving if he had broken up with me and he was very ugly, but said no. I gave him a lot of space, and things still didn't improve. I got kicked out of where I was living on Tuesday and he didn't bother to respond when I told him.

I finally confronted him today and told him I would be there to support him through all the hard stuff if he wanted me to, but i needed to know that's what he wanted. He told me we wouldn't be together. He tried to act like he had ended it a long time ago, even though he hadn't, and had TOLD me he hadn't. Turns out he's been talking to someone else for weeks. And I know her. I've been through hell, walking on eggshells, defending him, educating myself, trying to put myself in his shoes.. And he's been talking to someone else without telling me or breaking things off with me. I still have things at his house and still have a key that he gave me. I asked what changed, and he wouldn't say. I asked if there was someone else and he wouldn't say. I gave him numerous outs and opportunities to end it and he never did. But it was like a switch flipped overnight. Before the med change we never fought, laughed all the time, snuggled, he was affectionate, things were great. And then silent, distant, angry, harsh. I thought it was just the PTSD so I tried to be understanding. But it was for someone who apparently didn't want me. I will still come here some. I still hope sufferers have solid people to help them through the tough times. And I'm glad supporters have this place to come.

I gave him all i had and it wasn't enough. I feel like a fool. It hurts so bad, but at least I'm used to him not being around or communicating. That doesn't ease the sting of him doing this, but at least I am accustomed to his absence. Hopefully I can just get my stuff back and move forward and try to heal. The other woman is now aware of the situation, but I don't know what impact it will have. Thank you so much to everybody who helped and encouraged and pushed as I went through this. Yall are badasses.
 
Hi Medley,

I'm sorry things are tough right now. You're not a fool. You're a wonderful dedicated & loyal person and it shines through every word of what you're written. It takes two to a relationship, and sometimes even with the best effort, they break.

You're pretty badass, yourself. Hang in there and keep in touch.
 
@medley29 (((hugs))) We have a self-compassion 30 day challenge thread going on during the Holidays. You are more than welcomed to join and find a little solace of support if you desire. Please consider contacting @Ms Spock and she can add you.

Self compassion does not need a label to join of supporter or sufferer. It is for everyone as well as many other areas on the board. Please consider no one will judge you ...you are still important to us....just as you are...
 
It is a process to detach too... stay til you get some levity. Very sorry to read what happened to you. PTSD is no excuse to be an asshole.

I hope you can retrieve your belongings too and hope that you can/will move on ahead with this behind you and wiser. There is no defense though about infidelity... not one that I've ever found anyways.
 
Dear @medley29 I'm so sorry. :(

I hope you find someone who will protect your heart...


Thank you, kindly @Junebug. It just hurts that when I was praying and educating myself and concerned about his well-being, he was talking to someone else. If he didn't want to be with me, I'm not sure why he couldn't just say that. I spent two miserable months waiting for and supporting him. I didn't see him once during that time and I didn't try to make him feel bad about it. I wish I had walked away much sooner.
 
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