lostforgottensoul
VIP Member
This is going to be SUPER long and im really sorry about that, i need to get this out, my hands are trembling, not an umcommon occurence again in my house.
I just need to get this all out and get some replies. I need to know if im all wrong here and i want to be detailed so people understand. Please forgive me before hand but i will break it up a lot.
I just got in, unfortantly not the worst, screaming match with my ADDICT step mom; whom has a f*cking mouth on her!
She's prescribed:
2 perocets 10 mg a day
2 xanax .5 mg a day, and
2 tizanadine 4 mg a day (only asked for it cuz thats what helps me sleep)
In the past, when i lived in THEIR house, she was getting high on MASSIVE amounts of oxycotin/oxycodone/xanax mix. She was falling asleep, face in lap, stand up completely bent over but sleeping. I dealt with that, not my dad, ME. I wipped her ass (in her 50s) like a baby.
Now they live with ME. I work, not them, MY DAD pays me $400 a month from his VA pension and Socal Security, step mom doesnt work and jas no insurance, no money, but i pay well over $1000 with rent/utilities/cable/internet/phone. They have been here, moved out, now back. My dad is on my lease with me but not my step mom.
We both made boundries when i allowed them to moved back in, i had a VERY bad huffing habit at the time.
So me: i stop huffing duster and not even attempt to hide it (ive now been clean almost 2 yrs) and try my best to not explode as when i lived in their house i was exploding all over the place, but this is also when i first started therapy, its WHY i started therapy.
And her: i must hold her medications (my dad at 74 yrs old is a push over and gives into her begging, i dont) and she not get high, AT ALL.
Im also on pain meds, but dont ever abuse them, only take them and my xanax ONLY when i need it and on days off i will just deal with my anxiety and not take xanax AT ALL but on work days im pretty regular with it. I also only take my medication ONLY when i need it, have 35 extra from when i didnt take it, even after it was stolen recently. Explained in a min.
She was taking twice as much of everything than perscribed except tizanadine. Four perocets a day, four of her .5 mg xanax a day, but 2 tizandine. This was fine because i was seperating the opioids and the xanax an hr or more apart and because i created a time schedule, we both agreed on, i stuck to it, it worked...she never got high.
I went into the hospital to have a morphine pump put in me on this past Nov. (this was the only long term way to get some life back and not loose life or become physically incapable of working as im now 34 and without medication i cant walk..i fell off a ladder 3 stoires up landing on my lower back/butt 7 yrs ago; its why i moved back to my home State and in with my dad, i couldnt work) but hate taking medication and oral medications your body becomes very used to and it doesnt work as well and tried the non-medication route (neurostimulaor trial) and it didnt work so this pump was the last option.
Currently I am on:
50 mcg Fentynal patch prescibed to change every 2 days but i change it every 3 days;
15 mg morphine sulfate oral 3 a day but usually only take it 2 a day, sometimes once (morning) but it depends on the pain...i usually wait until im in tears and cant take it anymore. Currently 35 extra from when i didnt take it, even after stolen, again will explain.
Ibuprofen 800 mg 3 times a day for having arthritis in all of my joints but especially my knees.
Tizanadine 3 a day (only take it at night for sleep)
Neurotin 900 mg 3 times a day for nuropathy in my legs (damaged nerves) bur that isnt a narcotic.
Xanax 3 a day, usually regular on work days, 1 right before work, 1 at lunch, and 1 at night to slow my racing mind but on days off i try not to take it at all but at times i have to. And i also make sure to take the xanax hrs after the pain meds.
And just tyroid meds, prescibed high dose vitimin D, and i take some herbal stuff like glucosamine/chondroitin, calcium etc
Now MY patch and oral morphine are going down as the pump (just morphone in it right now) goes up. We are trying to get me 100% off of the fentyal patch and the morphine sulfate oral. But it takes time and is a graduial process.
While i was in the hospital having the pump put in (they kept me overnight though i protested as to wanting to go home, i had a very VERY bad feeling, but i wasnt gonna leave AMA.) At the time my step mom's daughter and son in law was staying here, long story. But her daughter is an "ex" opioid addict as well. She went to a free detox (not an actual rehab) but was asking for my step mom's perocets so thats why i say "ex". Her daughter's husband is very VERY against anyone taking medications and especially getting high on them.
Anyway, while i was staying over night in the hospital, they had stated that i couldnt take personal items, just my driver's licence. I have a safe but my ex herion addict roomates were braking into it and sealing my meds (3 times) so i started to kedp them all in my purse with a huge combination lock on it and change the code (from zipper for wallet and stuff, back zipper is the one locked with meds and keys to the safe.) I failed to think to lock my purse in my trunk and not tell anyone it was there (hindsight is 20/20)
I had 2 known opioid addicts in my house (i hate the shit myself) but i choose (since she hadnt fotten high for over a year) to tell my step mom i trusted her and put my purse in the bottom of her closet.
I was picked up from the hospital by my dad and my step sister's husband. I was immeditally handed my step sister's husband's phone with a picture of my step mom high was f*ck, face in lap.
I came home in sooo much pain (i woke up from surgery crying due to pain) and i asked my dad to grab my purse as i was due for medication and i open it up and what i saw was the thin material seperating the unlocked and locked sections on my purse ripped all the way across (i took my driver's license out that morning, it wasnt ripped when i put it there) and 4 full days of a 28 day pill dispenser were missing, it was therw when i left and made sure to not take until in tears and have extra due ro the surgery.
And my step mom high as hell that day and all that night (so 2 days, day of surgery and day after).
I had refused to give her any of her medication when due because of her being high, she started to come down and got high again...from what?
My step mom first said it ripped by itself, something in the closet ripped it, it ripped when my dad picked it up (funny i picked it up multiple times a day and it never ripped). Then she started to blame her daughter (whom wasnt high, AT ALL) and her daughter saying she didnt do it. Blah blah, whatever.
Then she amitted to my dad that she was buying 2 mg xanax from a friend of a neighbor...ok but that was an opioid high...but ok.
She also antogonzies me, like MAD. She TRIES to make me explode and has a mouth on her (demands to be spoken to with respect but fails to herself).
My dad is 74 and is a very much "head in the sand" and wont force her into rehab. He currently has her in a corner, go to rehab or get out, and no one will take her in; she burned all those bridges.
He tries to put the problem on someone else. Asked her daughter and son in law fo take her back to their State (they went back home) and they refused. Tries to get her to go to a friend's house...he's trying to get rid of her by putting her somewhere else but refuses to see she has a problem if someone else has to hold her medication. Just because she cant get to it doesnt make her any less of an addict.
I was gonna call her Dr (and should have at the time as a required pill count would have caused her to loose her medication and she already popped on a urine drug test for morphine...she was taking my dad's tylonal with codine; codine proceses through urine as morphine).
Anyway, my dad threatened to move if i did and came up with she gets what she's prescribed only.
Still doesnt make her any less of an addict but i agreed like a dumbass but rent went up this year another $50 a month, i was struggling before he moved in.
Ive been almost homeless before but his money is also allowing me to go to therapy once a week (im smart and saved almost $1200) but still; i would have to cancel my entire cable, internet (i havd unlimited cell internet but cell service isnt great at my house) and i did look before signing a new lease, apartments are sky high due to peole not buying housee, so now at the beginning of a 12 month lease. And i would have to eventually go to therapt less.
I also didnt get the promotion i needed for the biggest pay boost and likely now wont have a chance again until close to middle of the year. I would have to work as much overtime as i can physically but my with my pain, its so hard and in a call center, its not always offered. Would need to push my body too hard (but would do it) and save whole OT is offered.
My dad tells me to ignore nasty things she says to me, antgonizing me to go off; he's asking me to appologize when im not in the wrong because they are fighting etc. So he wants me to change, ignore, say sorry but she does and says whatever she wants.
I again feel like my house isnt my house, i dont want to come home. I asked my therapist (whom has known everything anyway), my pain Dr, my pharmacist and ALL have told me several times to ask them to leave. My therapist knows my dad and i have therapy work needing to be done but now im wondering if all the fighting is doing more harm than good.
And im not saying i do no wrong. I do explode when my anxiety is high, i get short with my dad whom asks me A TON of questions that gets annoying. But i also, as ive done on here, appologize when i see im wrong when all calms down and ive tried to talk to my step mom calmly and she instantly becomes defensive so i usually dont bother. I lef her complain about whatever (usually my dad, shom has become a bit verbally/emotionally anjsive but i think tbis is taking a toll on him too; and he has recently tested negitive for dementia.
With this taking as prescribed has been ok BUT on my days off, i dont want to have to be worried about getting up at or by EXACTLY 10am (i work nights; 12pm - 9pm. I want to sleep in on a day off when i dont have Drs like i do Thursdays and i have a HUGE issue wifh falling asleep and wake up 5 or more times a night on my own and issues foing back to sleep.
I give my dad her morning dose of percocet at night but every single day, 10am on the dot, without fail she wants her xanax. Now i dont know anyone that has anxiety at a certian time EVERY SINGLE DAY. On work days i just give it to her and she takes them both at once. Keep in mind she doesnt work. I do so im on a schedule for it just due to being caught going off on screaming customers before and lucky i didnt loose my job. I work in a call center as a tier 2 internet and PC tech for a nationwide internet company.
But on my days off, is it gonna kill you to wait an hour? And i asked her :why do you HAVE to habe it right at 10am? I was annoyed that yet again i have to bend for her, make sure im up by 10am, she doesnt work, anxiety sucks but wont kill you, and shes usually completely calm when she asks for it, sometimes the min she wakes up.
She said "dont tell me how to take my medication". That set me off, my anxiety went to almost the red zone because YOU are the one that must have someone hold your medication, if going out of town we have to find a person that will hold it if my dad's not going; you are always very calm when you ask for it.
When she was sick recently (she has COPD but still smokes 2 packs of Clipper CIGARS a day, and its no long beginning stages) i had given her a nebulizer treatment with albuterol which is a steroid and makes you shaky but it passes and was mad that i wouldnt give her my xanax (she had to go to the Dr a week late due to money) and wanted to go to the hospital, without insurance and the same treatmenf because they would give her Xannx. She you want to pay a few grand dur to xanax.
So anyway, annoyed already, i handed my dad the xanax (i'll probably be up by 10am but i dont want to HAVE to be on a day off with nothing to do) and i had said, rather calmly even though my anxiety was high "you need to speak to me with the same respect you demand". That started a drop down fight.
She had said im not her Dr, i asked do tou wsnt me to call your Dr and tell him whats been going on and ask him, then she took that as a threat; it wasnt but im quite tired of worried about her getting high, saying "it was just once, so what"...i work, i pay the majority of the bills here, this was a boundry that we set before you moved in AND i havent huffed since they moved in.
She tried to throw the past huffing in my face; ive not huffed since the day they moved in (was a year this past Sept so a year and hald now), threw all of my "strong" medication im prescibed, which i take less than prescribed of and now have 35 extra from not taking it even after a very painful surgery, my nuropathy has gotten worse, still have 35 extra.
She couldnt grasp why i was asking why she HAD to have it at 10am every day (shes an addict that has been high here; she recently hallucinated an entire night my dad told me due to taking the tizandine with PM cold medication which i told her i didnt want to give it to her with that and she said "ive taken it before")
She has my dad that you cant get high off my morphine sulfate due to me not getting high and i am guilty of giving her one here or there but thats ONE, not 12 in a day. My dad believes everything she says, he's drug/medication stupid and says she needs a pain Dr and have more pain meds. No she doesnt! She needs rehab!
Anyway if turned into a shouting match due to her throwing everything in my face, my anxiety went to red zone. She went on my screened in porch, my dad trying to stop the fight and so i was talking to my dad about her (you cant talk about her at all but she can talk about you all she wants becauae shes "talking to her husband" but i cant "talk to my father.) So she hit my window. I said she better stop hitting my window, my dad told her to and she did it again just to antagonize. I got in her face (ive never laid a hand on anyone) and i told her that shes not on my lease and if she doesnt stop i will call the cops and have her legally removed (legally in my State Id have to evict her) but i was trying to get her to stop hitting my window.
Fight escalated and i fold them both to either stop this shit; getting high, hallucinating (accident or not), demanding i be up at a certian time (my dad just gives her all the medication, whenever and all at once. He doesnt get the opioid and xanax mix). My dad said he's paid up this month and will move out by next month.
I dont want HIM to leave, i want her to leave. He says he's between his wife and his daughter but he's not; he's sticking his head in the sand trying to push his problem of an addict wife on someone else. Wont force her into rehab, says he doesnt want to be married ro her (though i know he loves her, he's tired of it too) and says when i say he has her cornered "where will go?" I amswered, if you dont want to be married, then thats not your concern.
I just cant deal with this anymore. Yes she wont got high the one time but that broke our boundry we set up and when i say "im just gonna go buy duster to huff" not meaning i will but stating thats its the same thing and he doesnt see it that way.
The fight stopped, finally, only because i shut up, turned the TV volume all the way up the drown out her.
She went to walgreens; only about 10 mins but enough time for me to tell my dad;
1) "I dont wnt YOU to leave but i cant deal with this anymore" i told him that HE is always welcomed to stay with me for free if needed; its her thats the issue.
2) i named my pain dr, my therapist, and my pharmacist whom all agree she needs rehab or out of my house.
3) if she/or they stay, this getting high shit (accidental included as you should know not to mix PM meds with 2 muscle relaxers with likely her pain med (and tizandine is what she took at their house, entire bottle and hallucinated for 3 days straight.
4) i do need his rent money and will be hurting BAD money wise but ive made it before and WILL do it again if needed. I told him that he is enabling his addict wife if he moves.
Im so sorry that this was so long. I needed to get it off my chest and if people can read through it, am i wrong?
My dad and i have therapy work to do as a large part of him doesnt believe that my mom would raise me in a cult and since i found out ive not seen him in the same way so now we have more therapy work to do but if he refuses to see it (as the man lives in denial) then im gonna have to get better without him but i think with all this drama, getting high, not respecting boundries (my dad said boundries are for children; so he REALLY doesnt get it, thinks its still 1940s or 1950s in the time he grew up; stuck in his "generation way of thinking") and just cant see whats right in front of him.
Is having them here hurting more than helping? I know i would struggle money wise without their rent money, may have to go to therapy less eventually which i REALLY dont want to, i need my therapist once a week but i do what i have to when i have to do it.
If y'all can get through this super long post, what would you do; given your dad is 74 yrs old.
Im so fed up, angry, irritated, done...and hurt that my dad would rather enable and appease his addict wife whom isnt less an addict just because we lowered what we give her to what shes supposed to have. If SHE had her meds, they'd all be gone in a week; shes done it. She doesnt look for it so has gotten better but still an addict nonetheless.
I just need to get this all out and get some replies. I need to know if im all wrong here and i want to be detailed so people understand. Please forgive me before hand but i will break it up a lot.
I just got in, unfortantly not the worst, screaming match with my ADDICT step mom; whom has a f*cking mouth on her!
She's prescribed:
2 perocets 10 mg a day
2 xanax .5 mg a day, and
2 tizanadine 4 mg a day (only asked for it cuz thats what helps me sleep)
In the past, when i lived in THEIR house, she was getting high on MASSIVE amounts of oxycotin/oxycodone/xanax mix. She was falling asleep, face in lap, stand up completely bent over but sleeping. I dealt with that, not my dad, ME. I wipped her ass (in her 50s) like a baby.
Now they live with ME. I work, not them, MY DAD pays me $400 a month from his VA pension and Socal Security, step mom doesnt work and jas no insurance, no money, but i pay well over $1000 with rent/utilities/cable/internet/phone. They have been here, moved out, now back. My dad is on my lease with me but not my step mom.
We both made boundries when i allowed them to moved back in, i had a VERY bad huffing habit at the time.
So me: i stop huffing duster and not even attempt to hide it (ive now been clean almost 2 yrs) and try my best to not explode as when i lived in their house i was exploding all over the place, but this is also when i first started therapy, its WHY i started therapy.
And her: i must hold her medications (my dad at 74 yrs old is a push over and gives into her begging, i dont) and she not get high, AT ALL.
Im also on pain meds, but dont ever abuse them, only take them and my xanax ONLY when i need it and on days off i will just deal with my anxiety and not take xanax AT ALL but on work days im pretty regular with it. I also only take my medication ONLY when i need it, have 35 extra from when i didnt take it, even after it was stolen recently. Explained in a min.
She was taking twice as much of everything than perscribed except tizanadine. Four perocets a day, four of her .5 mg xanax a day, but 2 tizandine. This was fine because i was seperating the opioids and the xanax an hr or more apart and because i created a time schedule, we both agreed on, i stuck to it, it worked...she never got high.
I went into the hospital to have a morphine pump put in me on this past Nov. (this was the only long term way to get some life back and not loose life or become physically incapable of working as im now 34 and without medication i cant walk..i fell off a ladder 3 stoires up landing on my lower back/butt 7 yrs ago; its why i moved back to my home State and in with my dad, i couldnt work) but hate taking medication and oral medications your body becomes very used to and it doesnt work as well and tried the non-medication route (neurostimulaor trial) and it didnt work so this pump was the last option.
Currently I am on:
50 mcg Fentynal patch prescibed to change every 2 days but i change it every 3 days;
15 mg morphine sulfate oral 3 a day but usually only take it 2 a day, sometimes once (morning) but it depends on the pain...i usually wait until im in tears and cant take it anymore. Currently 35 extra from when i didnt take it, even after stolen, again will explain.
Ibuprofen 800 mg 3 times a day for having arthritis in all of my joints but especially my knees.
Tizanadine 3 a day (only take it at night for sleep)
Neurotin 900 mg 3 times a day for nuropathy in my legs (damaged nerves) bur that isnt a narcotic.
Xanax 3 a day, usually regular on work days, 1 right before work, 1 at lunch, and 1 at night to slow my racing mind but on days off i try not to take it at all but at times i have to. And i also make sure to take the xanax hrs after the pain meds.
And just tyroid meds, prescibed high dose vitimin D, and i take some herbal stuff like glucosamine/chondroitin, calcium etc
Now MY patch and oral morphine are going down as the pump (just morphone in it right now) goes up. We are trying to get me 100% off of the fentyal patch and the morphine sulfate oral. But it takes time and is a graduial process.
While i was in the hospital having the pump put in (they kept me overnight though i protested as to wanting to go home, i had a very VERY bad feeling, but i wasnt gonna leave AMA.) At the time my step mom's daughter and son in law was staying here, long story. But her daughter is an "ex" opioid addict as well. She went to a free detox (not an actual rehab) but was asking for my step mom's perocets so thats why i say "ex". Her daughter's husband is very VERY against anyone taking medications and especially getting high on them.
Anyway, while i was staying over night in the hospital, they had stated that i couldnt take personal items, just my driver's licence. I have a safe but my ex herion addict roomates were braking into it and sealing my meds (3 times) so i started to kedp them all in my purse with a huge combination lock on it and change the code (from zipper for wallet and stuff, back zipper is the one locked with meds and keys to the safe.) I failed to think to lock my purse in my trunk and not tell anyone it was there (hindsight is 20/20)
I had 2 known opioid addicts in my house (i hate the shit myself) but i choose (since she hadnt fotten high for over a year) to tell my step mom i trusted her and put my purse in the bottom of her closet.
I was picked up from the hospital by my dad and my step sister's husband. I was immeditally handed my step sister's husband's phone with a picture of my step mom high was f*ck, face in lap.
I came home in sooo much pain (i woke up from surgery crying due to pain) and i asked my dad to grab my purse as i was due for medication and i open it up and what i saw was the thin material seperating the unlocked and locked sections on my purse ripped all the way across (i took my driver's license out that morning, it wasnt ripped when i put it there) and 4 full days of a 28 day pill dispenser were missing, it was therw when i left and made sure to not take until in tears and have extra due ro the surgery.
And my step mom high as hell that day and all that night (so 2 days, day of surgery and day after).
I had refused to give her any of her medication when due because of her being high, she started to come down and got high again...from what?
My step mom first said it ripped by itself, something in the closet ripped it, it ripped when my dad picked it up (funny i picked it up multiple times a day and it never ripped). Then she started to blame her daughter (whom wasnt high, AT ALL) and her daughter saying she didnt do it. Blah blah, whatever.
Then she amitted to my dad that she was buying 2 mg xanax from a friend of a neighbor...ok but that was an opioid high...but ok.
She also antogonzies me, like MAD. She TRIES to make me explode and has a mouth on her (demands to be spoken to with respect but fails to herself).
My dad is 74 and is a very much "head in the sand" and wont force her into rehab. He currently has her in a corner, go to rehab or get out, and no one will take her in; she burned all those bridges.
He tries to put the problem on someone else. Asked her daughter and son in law fo take her back to their State (they went back home) and they refused. Tries to get her to go to a friend's house...he's trying to get rid of her by putting her somewhere else but refuses to see she has a problem if someone else has to hold her medication. Just because she cant get to it doesnt make her any less of an addict.
I was gonna call her Dr (and should have at the time as a required pill count would have caused her to loose her medication and she already popped on a urine drug test for morphine...she was taking my dad's tylonal with codine; codine proceses through urine as morphine).
Anyway, my dad threatened to move if i did and came up with she gets what she's prescribed only.
Still doesnt make her any less of an addict but i agreed like a dumbass but rent went up this year another $50 a month, i was struggling before he moved in.
Ive been almost homeless before but his money is also allowing me to go to therapy once a week (im smart and saved almost $1200) but still; i would have to cancel my entire cable, internet (i havd unlimited cell internet but cell service isnt great at my house) and i did look before signing a new lease, apartments are sky high due to peole not buying housee, so now at the beginning of a 12 month lease. And i would have to eventually go to therapt less.
I also didnt get the promotion i needed for the biggest pay boost and likely now wont have a chance again until close to middle of the year. I would have to work as much overtime as i can physically but my with my pain, its so hard and in a call center, its not always offered. Would need to push my body too hard (but would do it) and save whole OT is offered.
My dad tells me to ignore nasty things she says to me, antgonizing me to go off; he's asking me to appologize when im not in the wrong because they are fighting etc. So he wants me to change, ignore, say sorry but she does and says whatever she wants.
I again feel like my house isnt my house, i dont want to come home. I asked my therapist (whom has known everything anyway), my pain Dr, my pharmacist and ALL have told me several times to ask them to leave. My therapist knows my dad and i have therapy work needing to be done but now im wondering if all the fighting is doing more harm than good.
And im not saying i do no wrong. I do explode when my anxiety is high, i get short with my dad whom asks me A TON of questions that gets annoying. But i also, as ive done on here, appologize when i see im wrong when all calms down and ive tried to talk to my step mom calmly and she instantly becomes defensive so i usually dont bother. I lef her complain about whatever (usually my dad, shom has become a bit verbally/emotionally anjsive but i think tbis is taking a toll on him too; and he has recently tested negitive for dementia.
With this taking as prescribed has been ok BUT on my days off, i dont want to have to be worried about getting up at or by EXACTLY 10am (i work nights; 12pm - 9pm. I want to sleep in on a day off when i dont have Drs like i do Thursdays and i have a HUGE issue wifh falling asleep and wake up 5 or more times a night on my own and issues foing back to sleep.
I give my dad her morning dose of percocet at night but every single day, 10am on the dot, without fail she wants her xanax. Now i dont know anyone that has anxiety at a certian time EVERY SINGLE DAY. On work days i just give it to her and she takes them both at once. Keep in mind she doesnt work. I do so im on a schedule for it just due to being caught going off on screaming customers before and lucky i didnt loose my job. I work in a call center as a tier 2 internet and PC tech for a nationwide internet company.
But on my days off, is it gonna kill you to wait an hour? And i asked her :why do you HAVE to habe it right at 10am? I was annoyed that yet again i have to bend for her, make sure im up by 10am, she doesnt work, anxiety sucks but wont kill you, and shes usually completely calm when she asks for it, sometimes the min she wakes up.
She said "dont tell me how to take my medication". That set me off, my anxiety went to almost the red zone because YOU are the one that must have someone hold your medication, if going out of town we have to find a person that will hold it if my dad's not going; you are always very calm when you ask for it.
When she was sick recently (she has COPD but still smokes 2 packs of Clipper CIGARS a day, and its no long beginning stages) i had given her a nebulizer treatment with albuterol which is a steroid and makes you shaky but it passes and was mad that i wouldnt give her my xanax (she had to go to the Dr a week late due to money) and wanted to go to the hospital, without insurance and the same treatmenf because they would give her Xannx. She you want to pay a few grand dur to xanax.
So anyway, annoyed already, i handed my dad the xanax (i'll probably be up by 10am but i dont want to HAVE to be on a day off with nothing to do) and i had said, rather calmly even though my anxiety was high "you need to speak to me with the same respect you demand". That started a drop down fight.
She had said im not her Dr, i asked do tou wsnt me to call your Dr and tell him whats been going on and ask him, then she took that as a threat; it wasnt but im quite tired of worried about her getting high, saying "it was just once, so what"...i work, i pay the majority of the bills here, this was a boundry that we set before you moved in AND i havent huffed since they moved in.
She tried to throw the past huffing in my face; ive not huffed since the day they moved in (was a year this past Sept so a year and hald now), threw all of my "strong" medication im prescibed, which i take less than prescribed of and now have 35 extra from not taking it even after a very painful surgery, my nuropathy has gotten worse, still have 35 extra.
She couldnt grasp why i was asking why she HAD to have it at 10am every day (shes an addict that has been high here; she recently hallucinated an entire night my dad told me due to taking the tizandine with PM cold medication which i told her i didnt want to give it to her with that and she said "ive taken it before")
She has my dad that you cant get high off my morphine sulfate due to me not getting high and i am guilty of giving her one here or there but thats ONE, not 12 in a day. My dad believes everything she says, he's drug/medication stupid and says she needs a pain Dr and have more pain meds. No she doesnt! She needs rehab!
Anyway if turned into a shouting match due to her throwing everything in my face, my anxiety went to red zone. She went on my screened in porch, my dad trying to stop the fight and so i was talking to my dad about her (you cant talk about her at all but she can talk about you all she wants becauae shes "talking to her husband" but i cant "talk to my father.) So she hit my window. I said she better stop hitting my window, my dad told her to and she did it again just to antagonize. I got in her face (ive never laid a hand on anyone) and i told her that shes not on my lease and if she doesnt stop i will call the cops and have her legally removed (legally in my State Id have to evict her) but i was trying to get her to stop hitting my window.
Fight escalated and i fold them both to either stop this shit; getting high, hallucinating (accident or not), demanding i be up at a certian time (my dad just gives her all the medication, whenever and all at once. He doesnt get the opioid and xanax mix). My dad said he's paid up this month and will move out by next month.
I dont want HIM to leave, i want her to leave. He says he's between his wife and his daughter but he's not; he's sticking his head in the sand trying to push his problem of an addict wife on someone else. Wont force her into rehab, says he doesnt want to be married ro her (though i know he loves her, he's tired of it too) and says when i say he has her cornered "where will go?" I amswered, if you dont want to be married, then thats not your concern.
I just cant deal with this anymore. Yes she wont got high the one time but that broke our boundry we set up and when i say "im just gonna go buy duster to huff" not meaning i will but stating thats its the same thing and he doesnt see it that way.
The fight stopped, finally, only because i shut up, turned the TV volume all the way up the drown out her.
She went to walgreens; only about 10 mins but enough time for me to tell my dad;
1) "I dont wnt YOU to leave but i cant deal with this anymore" i told him that HE is always welcomed to stay with me for free if needed; its her thats the issue.
2) i named my pain dr, my therapist, and my pharmacist whom all agree she needs rehab or out of my house.
3) if she/or they stay, this getting high shit (accidental included as you should know not to mix PM meds with 2 muscle relaxers with likely her pain med (and tizandine is what she took at their house, entire bottle and hallucinated for 3 days straight.
4) i do need his rent money and will be hurting BAD money wise but ive made it before and WILL do it again if needed. I told him that he is enabling his addict wife if he moves.
Im so sorry that this was so long. I needed to get it off my chest and if people can read through it, am i wrong?
My dad and i have therapy work to do as a large part of him doesnt believe that my mom would raise me in a cult and since i found out ive not seen him in the same way so now we have more therapy work to do but if he refuses to see it (as the man lives in denial) then im gonna have to get better without him but i think with all this drama, getting high, not respecting boundries (my dad said boundries are for children; so he REALLY doesnt get it, thinks its still 1940s or 1950s in the time he grew up; stuck in his "generation way of thinking") and just cant see whats right in front of him.
Is having them here hurting more than helping? I know i would struggle money wise without their rent money, may have to go to therapy less eventually which i REALLY dont want to, i need my therapist once a week but i do what i have to when i have to do it.
If y'all can get through this super long post, what would you do; given your dad is 74 yrs old.
Im so fed up, angry, irritated, done...and hurt that my dad would rather enable and appease his addict wife whom isnt less an addict just because we lowered what we give her to what shes supposed to have. If SHE had her meds, they'd all be gone in a week; shes done it. She doesnt look for it so has gotten better but still an addict nonetheless.
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