And Now I Have To Tell This In Therapy?

[Scandinavgirl]

I have not told my therapist that I occasionally have some sexual intrusive thoughts. These thoughts tends to appear when I am close to someone physically (not very close, but at least in the same room). It does not happen very often, but in therapy quite a lot. Once in a while these thoughts comes so sudden (with a "bang"), that I close my eyes and I guess it is noticeable that something is going on. I know my T. has seen this, as he been giving me his "scrutinizing" look while this is happening.

I really don`t want to talk about this - I think it is so embarrassing. Although there is no sexual feelings involved, these thoughts are about the person I am close too. In this case the therapist.
But I am afraid he thinks that I am schizophrenic or something, and I dont want that.
How can I talk to my therapist about this? It`s not really a huge problem in my everyday life, and not an issue I believe it is important to work on. But it has became a problem in therapy nevertheless.

 

[scout86]

But it has became a problem in therapy nevertheless.

You don't HAVE to talk about anything you don't want to talk about. But, if it's become a problem. talking about it is probably the best idea. You have my sympathy, because that would be a REALLY difficult conversation to have. On the other hand, you might find that your therapist isn't surprised or shocked, and that it's something you can work through together and you can probably learn from it.

 

[Anarchy]

Seconding what Scout just wrote.

I'm stumbling in without knowing what you've shared on the forum, so please excuse me if this goes walkabout in the wrong direction.

Analytic therapists talk about "Transference" where feelings get brought into the therapeutic relationship, and get worked out in the context of therapy.

I'll leave Lucycat's alternative definition of "Transference" just for laughs

TRANSFERENCE
The transferring of a fee from the client to the therapist's bank account.

Transference and the vulnerable nature of the client in the therapy relationship, is why there is such a strong taboo on therapists ever becoming physically involved with clients, and safeguards such as the professional supervision of therapists are in place.

so yes, it is difficult for us when feelings come up - but it is part of the process and therapists are expecting it to happen, and are trained and supported to handle it professionally and safely when it does happen.

By all means, test the ground and only go at a pace that you are comfortable with, if you do decide to disclose

there is a saying ammong therapists - "go first, where you are welcome" - have you areas that you would rather be covering with your T, before you go to the sexual ideas?

 

[Leigh925]

This is actually common in therapy. Most therapists have some training and expect to deal with this at some point. Some of them are really good at handling it and some of them are not. Especially if your traumas are sexual in nature our bodies often get confused with sex and intimacy. Therapy is very intimate on a lot of levels and that can be confusing. Read about transference and erotic transference. It maybe something you can totally handle on your own once you understand and can recognize where those feelings are coming from. If it becomes a stumbling block to your recovery then I think you have to find a way to talk about it.

 

[watundah]

You're not alone. I find my T to be very attractive and sometimes I get a lot of sexual buzz in session but squash it by thinking about what we're talking about.

 

[Crow]

This has been one of the most difficult things I have done in therapy. I still feel a little embarrassed but it's gotten more comical as time passes. The other folks are correct, it's important to bring this into session. Talking about it dispelled the fantasies btw.