Outside Noise Triggers, New Neighbors... I'm In A Tizzy...

[nycowboy]

We are getting new neighbors. Kitty-corner, not next door. I hate getting new neighbors. We live in a quiet neighborhood and I really hope we get nice people.

There was a guy who looked at the house back in December. He had an old beat-up pickup truck with a big ATV in it. I went into crazy anxiety mode back then. We've had trouble with ATVs in the past (until I kept calling the cops) and they signal "LOUD INCONSIDERATE DOOFUS MOVING IN" to my trauma brain.
So ever since December, I've had the crazy idea that this guy is going to move in and have horrible loud stuff going on so I will be unable to concentrate and enjoy my life.

Now there is a stupid voice in my head saying "you can't judge a book by its cover". Gag. Shut up.

Three months have past and that house is sold. It looked like the people there were moving out last night.

I'm triggered. Help. What do I do? I'm trying to pray and leave it to the Lord and let Him take care of it.

Stupid voice in head: He is sending you rotten neighbors so that you can learn to love your neighbors just like the Bible says.

Shut up, voice. Leave me alone.

Do you have any ideas for me to get the new neighbor anxiety under control? I know what will happen if the new neighbors turn out to be THAT GUY instead of some nice little family. I will watch vigilantly for him and listen vigilantly with my supersonic ears until I detect the slightest bit of NOISE or God forbid, MUSIC, being played within earshot. Then I will have to stew about it and might even run over there and tell him how inconsiderate he is.

This has happened repeatedly in the past. I FEAR the new neighbor, then have to squash any noise or disruption to my peace and quiet.

It is SO frustrating. I HATE living this way. Why can't I just be "normal" and be happy we are getting new people? Nothing wrong with old people.

With any unexpected noise that comes from outside, I am fearful and get triggered so I go into hypervigilance mode. I am doing better with this, thanks to therapy, but I still have a LOT of trouble.

I need help. I need advice. I need healing so I can just live in peace and not be so grouchy with my family all the time.

Sorry this is kind of stream-of-conscience Virginia Woolfish. I just needed to write out what is on my mind. I hate PTSD and anxiety. I just want to live my life in peace.

:)

 

[ladee]

You would go insane in my neighborhood.... loud music, in a language I don't speak, a lot of drinking and noise at night, A huge pit bull two door down... constant fear it is going to get loose. I never leave my house without looking to see he is chained.Fast food places on the other side of the privacy fence, semi trucks parking overnight, engines running the whole time... and on.... and on.... and on....When I call the police about the noise here, they simply say, Ok Ladee, we are on our way... Pretty bad that the cops know you by your first name and you're not even the trouble maker.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

So ever since December, I've had the crazy idea that this guy is going to move in and have horrible loud stuff going on so I will be unable to concentrate and enjoy my life.

I'm worried that you are letting this anxiety, for the past 3 months dominate your life so much that you have been unable to "enjoy your life". Try to break it down into something that you can handle, so the anxiety of what may or may not even happen doesn't rule your life. Will this man move? Maybe. Will he play loud music? Maybe, but often? That's rare. Could you do something about it if your 'fear' happens? Yes. But then you probably need to really look into why it was ruling your life so much. Is there a therapist you can talk about this with?

Is there some way for you to find out if he's moving in? Your fear may be based off of a man that you may never see again, because he was never moving in to begin with.

 

[nycowboy]

Thanks, Ayesha.

You are right that I need to look into why this fear is ruling my life so much.

Fear of unexpected noise.
Fear of unknown people.
Fear that I can't escape neighbors that I don't like because they aren't going anywhere and I'm stuck with them.

I have been in therapy for 1.5 years, from 2013 until 2014. Maybe I need to go back. My T was very very good.

I was bullied by mean kids when I was a kid, and a lot of times I was bullied/kicked/teased by boys (the cool guys) when they were behind me. So any time there is "unknown" something in my periphery it scares the hell out of me.

I hate PTSD.

 

[nycowboy]

ATV + old pickup truck + guy =

bully from my childhood who is now in a "cool guy" body

 

[joeylittle]

I have been in therapy for 1.5 years, from 2013 until 2014. Maybe I need to go back. My T was very very good.

Go back. It sounds like you could use the support, and also that you need some more distraction/grounding tools to work with. If you got good work done with this therapist before, it's likely you will again.