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I had a really big trigger at work tonight. A client (I work at a dv and hl shelter.) tried to kill herself in front of me. I handled it pretty well in the moment but now that's it's quiet and everyone's asleep I just want to curl up into a ball and cry.

How is everyone doing? Really? I'm doing pretty well lately! I think my job has helped me heal a lot. Working at a domestic violence shelter and being surrounded by people who are going through the same things I went through is validating and healing. My service dog and my medication help me a...

I hate to feel this way, but this town holds so much damn pain for me. I love the family I've found so much. I really do. I wouldn't change my mom or dad for the world, but I just can't live in this town anymore. My bio mom still lives here. I've been no-contact with her for several years now...

I've been doing okay lately! I haven't been having so many off days, and it really shows me how much I've progressed. I still want to move out of my apartment (I need to think about retiring my service dog soon and training a new one, but with my current apartment, I'd have to fight tooth and...

I have attachment and abandonment issues. I know this about me. I do. So why can I not logic away this feeling? I wasn't really even that into her. She moved on to someone else and she kept pushing my boundaries. So why can't I just let her go? Why is it hurting me so much that she's moving on...

I have a problem with my downstairs neighbor now. I don't know how long she has been living under me, but she has come up to my apartment twice in the past week to yell at me about "being too loud" when I'm literally not even there at night. I work nights, and I'm asleep during the day. I can't...

I just feel so stuck. It's so hard to find a way out of how I feel right now. I know nothing is permanent. I know everything changes, but god, I feel so trapped. I want to get out of my apartment so bad. I want to have my own space. I want to be literally anywhere else. my mom doesn't want to...

I've been doing really well lately (Knock on wood), and so has my service dog. We are back in classes, and we have a new job. I'm still really struggling with my online courses, but I've been keeping up with my in-person classes. Work has barely started, really. My training starts tomorrow right...

Today is my second day of classes. My service dog got approved to come to class with me but I'm not going to bring him until he's officially approved on Monday. I really feel like I really need him today. I've already had one panic attack

I'm really panicked as the closer it gets to me starting in-person classes. The last time I was in school, I was so unregulated. It led to my dropping out and having a mental breakdown. I'm terrified to go back and become another failure. My t tells me that it's all in what I tell myself and how...

I'm stuck between feeling completely numb and absolutely spiraling. I'm angry and sad, and it makes me hate myself even more than normal. Talked to this guy (online) every day for two weeks. I thought he was interested in me, but tonight he just blocked me out of nowhere. It feels like another...

I'm so torn between two big hurts tonight. My neighbor said my bio mom came to see me to give me mail, but I wasn't home (thankfully). So it's brought up all the feelings of panic and paranoia, and bad memories. I also can't stop messaging him. I know he doesn't give a single f*ck about me but I...

I can't stop hurting myself over him. Today was a good day, and yet I came home and talked to him again. It just breaks my heart every f*cking time. It's like I'm addicted to hurting myself. I don't self-harm physically anymore, so I feel like this is just another way to hurt myself. I don't...

What words could soothe a broken heart? Broken bones do not mend with kind words. Lovely phrases never stop bleeding. I write this at night, Mother Earth as my witness. I’ve written many things on a night like tonight. I thought I would write love poems about you. Started to plan a life with...

I don't know if I need another therapist. I've been with my current therapist for over a year now, and I will admit that I have shown progress with my current therapist. I'm better than I was, for sure, but I don't know how to talk to her about certain things, and I feel like I've hit a wall. I...

I haven't felt great since my T told me that we don't have DID. She instead diagnosed me with BPD. My Bio mom (Abuser) has the same disorder. She told me I wasn't like her in our last session, but I don't believe it. She also said that my system is probably a part of my schizoaffective disorder...

Had an appointment with my T yesterday. She said that I was misdiagnosed with DID. So it turns out I'm just f*cking nuts and she mentioned that I probably have the same disorder as my bio mom. I don't want to be here anymore. It doesn't matter if I'm alive or dead anymore. The world will still...

I know I'm just having a bad day. I know that but god all I do today is think about hurting myself. That everyone is better off without me around. I don't want to tell anyone. I don't want them to look at me like that. Like they're hurt and betrayed. I don't want to be even more of a burden...

I feel.. alone. I spent so much of my day just surviving from panic attack to panic attack. It feels so hollow. It feels so unending. This constant cycle. One good day to a week of awful days and back again. I don't sleep at night much anymore. I have too many things that hurt me all the time. I...

Hey everyone. I hope you're doing okay. A lot has been going on and I feel really alone I guess... I haven't posted on here in a while. I feel like I'm treading water. I'm always just a moment away from slipping back under. My depression is okay when I'm with my family during the day, But at...

So f*cking tired of feeling like shit. I have a good week or month followed by weeks of self-hatred and thoughts that I'd be better off dead. I feel like I'm getting triggered by everything. My service dog just split his nails today and I want to scream about it. He's going to be on bed rest for...

today sucks. I relapsed with my self-harm and I don't even know why I did it. Today wasn't particularly bad, yet here I am. I'm so f*cking angry at myself and everyone else. I feel it in my bones and it won't f*cking stop. I'm so angry and depressed. Is this life worth living? I don't know. I...

tonight ( in like an hour) me and my service dog have to go to a party. This is our first outing together in over a year. we only really know two people who are going and my heart feelings like it's gonna beat out of my chest. I'm so worried that my dog isn't ready and that he's still too...

I feel like I don't post anything positive on this website so I wanted to share something good with you all <3 My service dog has shown a lot of progress with his reactivity over the past few weeks. This is because both of us have been getting out more and experiencing life again. He truly...

My teeth hurt. I keep clenching my jaw. Tonight I don't think sleep is coming. I'm too f*cking angry and filled with hate. My entire body wants to revolt. There's this great big ball of sadness too. Like my chest weighs a thousand pounds and my bones ache. I want to crawl out of my skin. I can't...