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5 Things I'm Thinking Today

  • Post starter Post starter Deleted member 29920
  • Start date Start date
1. I have to change my plans for the evening.
2. I'm shocked that I have to make an appointment when I want to call my sister.
3. Only four days at work before I'll have a regular vacation for 10 days.
4. I'm glad I found someone to accompany me on a hard tour.
5. It's raining like crazy outside.
 
1. I had a beautiful Easter. I'm amazed because I didn't expect to have any Easter at all.
2. Glad I got hit by Holy water, it's been years.
3. Hope I can remember who to go to at work, 35 people & they didn't mail me list with holiday, I have no copy & was away for a bit.
4. Apparently they've doubled the price of 'assisted-death' drug. It's always about money. Said it's unconstitutional to treat mental suffering different from physical.
5. I wish I could wrap my head concretely around what I need to get well/ be strong/ have clear thoughts. I can trust in hope as in "I don't know (anything)/ God could do anything", but I'm tempted to not have any hope when faced with everyday life.
 
1. Mind you I never get hit with Holy water because I sit the furthest away I can.
2. Also feeling like a 'waste of space' is not a useful time to assess for any hope(fulness).
ETA 3. I suppose God has plans to do 'something'
4. Hugs to all. Xox.
ETA again 5. I think it's important to not let PTSD or otherwise suck out the hope or memories even recent/ feelings of happiness, so quickly especially.
 
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1. Suicidality is a good measure of how stressed I am in times feeling it is absent.
2. Where even ARE the respectful spiritual people? Meeting only those with an agenda gets old fast.
3. Just because I feel them doesn't mean they're here / gdi flashbacks get in your lane. Nightmares, you too.
4. I deserve water & food & medication because I'm human, dangit. Not useful internalizations, would ya move it?
5. More music. And waiting to pull out of this triggered state. Helloo brain, you have different music, would you bother registering it's a different year?
 
1. Better decisions.
2. I really need more pies in my life.
3. Suuuun. No thoughts needed. The sun is out, I'm out too.
4. Breathing without worrying about bureaucracy for a while. Forgot what that felt like.
5. Forgot it's her anniversary. And then wonder why I was so over-the-edge, tryna get back, for so long. Ha.
 
1. Postpone
2. We don't go there
3. Bad idea number three.
4. Don't even /think/ of calling me, re: yesterday people trying to coerce entry into my home. & self: Numbers flip.
5. Oh, right, I actually do remember yesterday, I just don't want to. Whee, better news than not remembering.
 
I have been in an unreasonably positive mood today, when the opposite should have been true. Not that I'm complaining.
I am sick of being misused at work.
I no longer care about the people who were responsibe for making me their scapegoat.
I am capable of getting my feelings across- calmly and clearly, when the situation calls for it.
I need a new job!
 
1. @Anrish , can you drop the self-pressure? :(
2. Oye I hate filling in (today, at work, different schedule) because too, I know the times will be all wrong versus what they've given me. :(
3. @Anrish who is Ture? (I am sorry I am lost, & behind re: diaries?. :(
4. @Cashew, re: birds it's so cold here I think I saw a penguin..
5. ..unless it was an April Fool's day illusion.. ;) :hug: ( Ironically, also my work anniversary, the 1st day of the month after you're hired. :O_o::roflmao:) If I was a bird, I'd have to be a silent one today. Tweety-bird minus the 'tweet'.
 

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