5 Things I'm Thinking Today

[Rani G2]

I don’t understand why people Don’t mention anything if they have an issue with you, why not just ask/say? But maybe it’s also about me learning to just accept it, as it is...not everyone will make that effort. I
Jim Jarmush! Wonder when he‘s next movie is being realeased
Looking forward to Amsterdam
I wonder if people think about transience
I don’t need Bobby Brown Make-up if I live on the Andaman Islands ?

 

[NatBird]

i've eaten so much i can hardly think!
i underestimate the shame around what he did
i loved having company yesterday evening
i'm selfish
she wants me to do her work for her

 

[Teasel]

1 ~ Tired :-)
2 ~ Productive sought of day
3 ~ Wanna early night
4 ~ Wonder if I'll like the music this weekend?
5 ~ Looking forward to bed

 

[Muttly]

1) well glad I went to the hand doctor but what a day. So a couple torn (partial) ligaments and and a slight avulsion fracture. It least I'm finally getting better at taking care of the body, which makes this less difficult
2) Also, yay for having some vicoden left over, because having the doctor appointment, the hand therapist appointment and being back at work and then having me neck tweak out was a wee bit too much.
3) six weeks in this splint? seriously?
4) Enough about my hand.
5 Am i getting taken advantage of?
And bonus thought... functional life stinks in a lot of ways lately but as far as mental health goes, i can actually see progress
and next bonus thought, wow, i'm a light weigh. this is why i didn't take much of the vicoden last year when it was prescribed... im zombified.
and final bonus thought. only having 3 fingers on my right hand that like to work abd being zombified means my typing skils suck and i dont care
ok, one more bonus thought, the epilogue to the final.... oh crap, what was the thought??? did it get zombified? oh!!! i remember, i now have a hard time not writing in medical short hand because of how much i do it at work... huh... that seems like sort of an anticlimatic epilogue to the final bonus thought
we now return you to your regularly scheduled 5 thoughts, this hhas only been a test of the zombification system.. If this had been a real zombie bonus, we would tell you all about brraaaaaaaaaaaainz

 

[NatBird]

I can be good at this
I'm feeling strangely okay in my own skin
i'm doing a lot better than I think
I really do undervalue and estimate myself
I wish I had more self belief

 

[Rani G2]

No connection is possible, yes my fault plus, I think everyone lives in their own bubble.
Its hard to break the cycle
Cooking is so lalala
Oh another two things
Bye ;-)

 

[Hopefulphoenix]

1. The vomiting bug, after the throwing up bit, up has given me a day off anxiety.
2. God Should I be greatful for this?
3. mmm yeah I think so.
4. Still cant think of title for my trauma diary.
5. Will this ever get easier. Yep.

 

[Rani G2]

I dont understand why ppl Dont say anything but ignore you..
I'm always the one who is being honestly interested in others...Ouch that hurts
Accept reality Purusha
It is hurtful.. thats life I guess
Amen

 

[NatBird]

is my creativity returning?
do i really have something to say, a way with words
maybe my life experience, the work i'v done has value after all
can i do it

 

[Muttly]

@NatBird I definitely think you have things of value to say

1) do i use the gas to go to where the snow is? i probably shouldn't. it's ok, i will get some snow time in at some point
2) my hand is killing me. need to figure out a different way to use my laptop
3) do i spend some money and buy bacon? that's less than the gas would be. maybe, if i can scrounge it up
4) i was going to write in my (myptsd) journal, now i'm avoiding
5) I was also going to email my t and avoiding that. hmmmmm

 

[NatBird]

@Muttly thank you. and can relate to snow chasing. wishing there was some here. it brings such beautiful light. enjoy when you get there:)

1. i have very beautiful and kind people in my life. i figure this is a reflection of some aspect of myself. at least i am choosing to see it that way today
2. connection and friendship is physically good for me. i notice the difference it has on my energy
3. i need to give me the loving and encouraging gaze i need
4. meditation is so good for me. my heart is not that far below the surface
5. is it possible for me to be happy again? not a permanent state but really feel my essence again?

 

[Abstract]

I am so freaking sick of hypervigilance I can't even put it into words. I hate this combination of paranoia and naivete that seems to be my constant mode of being. Its so shaming and exhausting.