5 Things I'm Thinking Today

[TruthSeeker]

I like this thread!
Took a walk- felt better
Finally doing the laundry that I’ve put off!
Decided to move into a home that will be a positive place not full of triggers.
Doing better with my diet

 

[Lionheart]

So far, I am doing really well with the smoke quit. (I only vape now).
I am happy with my sampler set of e-juices.
The weather has turned cold again.
I'm lonely, I want a special friend and lover in my life.
It ain't easy being cheezy.

 

[Rani G2]

Gave up the island idea, because of Spiders
I'm in my End 30's in a body of a 18 yr old, maybe I am underdeveloped
I like cheese burgher, Hunger is also a feeling
Death is not real they said
Weight lifting is doing me good

 

[Rani G2]

Having a Narcisstic Disorder doesnt mean you are a Psychopath!!!
I Do feel for others...its not always easy to define
Anti Allergic meds are awful
Coke addicted
Binge watching Castle Rock

 

[Ronin]

1)

I Do feel for others

(And if you didn't, it wouldn't make you any more in the wrong, at least where I am. Not feelings that determine actions, or them not there.)

2 to 4) TLDR why isn't the week over, yet.

5) The good so short, the bad so dragging
6) Not strawberries, K the A kid, how the hell do I tell either of them I can't with it even (because SR and then KalashikovKids), accacias and flames, smoke that smells of home (bullshit, home is overrated, move.)

 

[Rani G2]

Not feelings that determine actions, or them not there.)

Thanks @Ronin....

 

[Deleted member 48076]

1.) How did I get here?
2.) PTSD, depression and anxiety have really f’d up my life!
3.) What did I do to deserve this?
4.) Will I ever get better?
5.) Where do I go from here?

 

[Tinyflame]

1. Tired of others words leaving me feeling awful.
2. Tired of being required to be where I'm abhorred.
3. Fiasco of triggers should have avoided. Chose and did 2 things for others today instead of myself. 'Big deal' for day's accomplishments. :( 'Great' . :(:cry:
4. No where to go from here.

 

[Ronin]

Fiasco of triggers should have avoided.

There there, Buggie.
On another hand, you have a fiasco, I have a fiasco, that is two fiascos of triggers already...

Fait accompli, enough of a mess for some well deserved quiet time and leaving it all go.
:hug:

Tired of being required

Those moron excuses for people can't even do anything on their own and need your help? Spells so much more of your qualities, and patience, and doing damned well (enough to tend to their needs ages long, as well.)

What brings you joy / relief? Any way to bring it in, even for a minute?

 

[Tinyflame]

Thank you @Ronin , though wished you didn't feel the same. :hug:

Oh no, only chose not myself because/ instead of doing otherwise, despite feeling awful.

No no one's fault but my own. People speaking from what they know- opposite Universe to my own. talking of wanting to grow old, and thinking of death as something not thought of/ experienced, and how loved we all are, and how we could think we are showing ourselves as better (when we belong to a group most think are one step from monsters). But clueless or not grasping it, is unsafe too. Not the majority's experience though, so they belong there.

And hey, they have the right to dislike me. Because I've noticed it, I tried to think, it's just my stupid thoughts. Only so many zero eye-contacts, grimaces, bad handshakes and eye rolling one can overlook though. My fault I had no exit strategy. And no option to go a benign route. My fault I was there at all. Stupid me.

Any way to bring it in, even for a minute?

No, not now. Although my pointsettia started to bloom. Bizarre. So will stick with bizarre.

1. I do realize, (for me), whether it's small or Big (life) situations/ choices, when choice is taken away, such as decisions made by people without being in the other person's shoes, +/or without their limitations, and ultimately without their reality/ experiences, +.or sometimes without understanding, consent is taken away also. Without giving freedom to choose, there is no real opportunity for consent, in either direction. Having no option, feels like having no consent. Which feels like re-traumatization. Or at least un-safety, since there is no trauma, but rather only the sense of what composes it.

 

[Tinyflame]

1. I guess I thought I was more capable than I am, that simply desire to overcome and trying to is the deciding factor to be able to. I guess I also sucked at planning, if there was no guaranteed exit from a non-option I shouldn't have tried. I still had feet.

2. The other person's thoughts are not my business, and even if they were I have no idea where they come from, as we don't know each other at all. Wouldn't be the first time I misjudged or someone misjudged me. Although in my case I've more often had to pay attention to emotions, so I read them quickly without even wanting to. The explanations could be anything though. But again, that translates as unsafe.

3. On the other hand, the easiest, most popular (can't think of a word? encouraged?) thing to do is give up: on people, relationships, commitments, efforts to heal, hope, life, one's self.

4. On the other hand though too, my business is my own too, and of no one's interest or care so up to me to manage/ avoid/ change/ choose.

 

[MrMoonlight]

-berlinda and littleoc
-electrical work at my aunt's house
-call dentist, famdoc for appointments
-haircut again
-trying to be positive, don't want to think anymore about P but know I have to. f*ckig tears just trying that. I really can't go anywhere near the subject but know I have to start the goodbye letter. She had a personality that could light a room. I could be her, death by suicide. But I'm not, I'm alive for whatever reason and have to make the choice to live. It's so sad to think of her and I feel a deep sense of responsibility but it was her choice. I'm the one that has to live with it though. Don't know what I'm saying, snot and tears, Jesus.