A Boy Called "it"

[Lotusstarr]

Hashi

I feel as though most survivors probably spend a lot of their lives continually healing on different levels. I don't think it works like one day you wake up after doing the work, and you're all better. If he experienced the violence that he describes in the book, he's probably still dissociative on some level. It is possible for people to lead successful lives career wise, while having various problems in their personal lives and relationships. A good example of this is oprah (she was raped by several family members from age 9). Especially for people who are split. One part has little to no memory or connection to the abuse, and can function relatively normally in society.

 

[Mercy]

I am extremely surprised, and a little disappointed at the attitudes displayed here. This man has undergone horrific abuse, and shame on everyone for doubting his story. He did a very brave thing by writing a book about his experiences and shedding light on a topic that has been silenced for too long. How would you all feel if you told your story, only to have people saying you are a fake and a liar.

I don't understand the need to put down this man and his book. Perception is 9/10ths of reality, of Dave's reality. None of us have exactly the same kind of abuse, at the same age. We don't describe our pain in the same way.......

I disagree that we don't have a right to criticize him. He wrote a book. He put himself out there. So yes, we do have a right to criticize what is written. What if it's completely fake? Should we support it simply because he cries "abuse"?!? No, I don't think so.

Oh, really?? Suppose it is real, then what?

I see, we have freedom of speach. On the forum there is a rule against putting anyone down or making any kind of harsh of judgements about another. This is an attack free zone. We are using noms de guerre here. How do we know that Dave isn't here with us. Please remember that. Solara has shaken my sense of the forum as a safe place because of her intensity of her feelings about a book she has never read.

This is a forum of support for abuse survivors, not for casting doubt and shaming survivors.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

Maybe despite the abuse, he didn't develop PTSD and was therefore much more able to overcome it...?

Jus' sayin...

If someone didn't develop PTSD or dissociative/personality disorders but managed to cognitise that the abuse was wrong and simply move on, then they wouldn't display the same thing that we here experience.

Rape (49 percent)
Severe beating or physical assault (31.9 percent)
Other sexual assault (23.7 percent)
Serious accident or injury; for example, car or train accident (16.8 percent)
Shooting or stabbing (15.4 percent)
Sudden, unexpected death of family member or friend (14.3 percent)
Child’s life-threatening illness (10.4 percent)
Witness to killing or serious injury (7.3 percent)
Natural disaster (3.8 percent)

What about the other percentages? Sure, all of us here have PTSD and all of us here have trauma, but there are many who accept what happened to them and put it behind them and move on. PTSD is practically the inability to do that. What if this guy doesn't write about all this stuff because he doesn't feel it. The down side is that for many of us that is invalidating, because we suffered the same, or similar, or more/less (in our eyes) and to here that someone else is simply OK after is painful and unfair for us and it's also scary to know that other people will have read that and think that the same will be for all trauma survivors or the fear that we will be seen as not as strong as this or that person. When really we're individual. The trauma we have is unique, our PTSD's are unique, our dissociative/personality traits and/or disorders are unique and as lovely as it is to feel included here and have other people who are similar - similar isn't identical. The reason we don't have anyone on this site who has been abused in some way (or has military/combat trauma) and is upset but overall ok with that, is because they don't have PTSD.

But also know that writing styles vary and the same story in different hands will appeal to different readers. Editors cuts and the views of what is and isn't too much to include when selling a product, especially what is deemed as acceptable or not. For those who haven't been subjected to trauma and those who remain overall unaffected by trauma, this sort of thing is usually motivational. For some of us with trauma that remains motivational because - wow, they did that, and maybe, so can I. But some (myself included) look at it and just go well sure, why doesn't he just turn purple next or invisible, because those things to us seem just as likely possible. That's sad, but it's beyond us. Maybe not forever but for now. What's more is it is scary and invalidating. What if my mum/partner/friend/coworker thinks that I should be able to be ok despite my trauma - that's what's socially acceptable - but I need support and understanding, heck, I actually need sympathy from others to feel it for myself, and to, over time process the trauma, accept it and move on...

No one truly knows what happened except the individuals involved, but there is heavy debate and criticism from both critics and family members. I don't know and personally, I believe many of you don't either (no offense intended). So why not take what we can from the book - hopefully the good and if not try not to let it affect you too deeply because it isn't related to you personally as an individual (unless you are a part of that family).

Please note, this is all written from my perspective and view point.

We're all different and I believe that this thread is triggering many of the posters and no one should be upset by that. It's for this reason this forum doesn't have Trigger Warnings - we're all triggered by different things. Take a breather everyone and safe hugs if/when you're ready.