A Reason To Live: Fighting Suicidal Thoughts

[timetorecover]

1- my kids need me
2- I am stronger. It would be like PTSD had won and would give my kids more traumas.

 

[Omnia vincit amor]

I see the good reasons you all have listed to keep it going. I also believe that they are very important and helpful to survive from one day to the other.

I have lost my son, I have lost my life, and the way it happened caused that I have lost my believe and trust.
It simply does not make any sence anymore. Anything I try to find as reason is very weak and very artificial. It is not me, but someone else whom I do not know and do not want to know either.

Sorry if it confusing, but that is how I feel. No mercy.

 

[lighteningdarkness]

Sorry to everyone who is feeling rough. Me too.

Have come to my safe place. A huge buzzard just dropped out of the tree a few feet away and glided off. Extremely beautiful and cool. What keeps me alive is diverting my thoughts away from humans and all the vileness that comes with them. Nature is simple and the way life should be, before all our nasty humanness interferes and screws life up.

 

[mamachick]

I know the loss of trust in humans all too well. We all have different reasons, but the distrust has made us feel unsafe, which makes us distrust even more. We get into that cycle, and it is distorted thinking. I do it and know it is distorted-even though I can easily justify it. It wont get better until I seek out just a small trusting gesture from another human.

I do remember a time when I trusted most of life and the people around me. I believed humans were mostly good. We can stay where we are in our beliefs or fight to regain some of that trust. It is painful either way.

 

[DharmaGirl]

1. My family and friends.
2. My dogs and cat
3. All the future patients I will help when I go back to work.
4. I haven't finished Fallout New Vegas or Skyrim yet.

 

[mamachick]

ME-

WHY SO HARD TO SAY
WHY SO HARD TO THIN,
WHY SO HARD TO FEEL
WHY SO HARD TO BELIEVE

AM I WORTH IT?

I AM
HOW DID I LOOSE BELIEF

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes you are more than worth it brat.
(((((Hugs))))

 

[Ice_Fire]

Declan. That's it.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

In 1985 I actually tried to kill myself. I was swallowing pills, But something woke up inside of me and got scared and said yes to the life spirit. I ended up calling an ambulance and they took me to ward B. They were supposed to keep me for 3 days but fortunately they released me to my husband. It is no longer an option for me.

Life such as it is is precious and I only have one life. That keeps me alive and well.

 

[mamachick]

Stress, both physical and mental will make us more suscptable for depression and suicide. Therefore, some is preventable. How often the family cause or fail to reduce the stress that could prevent this feeling and do nothing is amazing to me and I am sorry for that. I am not at a weak mental point but have been, and m family have not changed.

I am seeing the neurosurgeon this week and will have to have surgery (already been told). I have had severe numbness and pain from an injury. Since no family will help up until now, who will do it after surgery?

Im just ranting, but we need to quit investing in one way relationships.

 

[DharmaGirl]

Omnia, I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know what I'd do if I lost my son. I know it is a long time since you posted, are you feeling better? Is there someone who could help?

 

[DharmaGirl]

I tried to kill myself in March and May of 2012. I suck at that too. I am working hard to find triggers way before I get to that point. I was also hospitalized this July, twice. Yikes! I live for my son and all my friends who were there for me, and all the things I haven't done yet.