Abusing My Dog

[Justmehere]

@Recovery4Me and @The Albatross - you make good points. It is a big red flag, and it seems like the OP knows abusing the dog is very wrong. Hopefully they have the courage to take the next steps towards healing for them and the pup.

 

[The Albatross]

The bottom line is that compulsively indulging/compensating/projecting mental/emotional stuff onto a living thing and then abusing it... knowing it is wrong... is untreated mental illness.

 

[StarChild]

I'm quite sure, it took a lot of courage to admit that they're so overwhelmed with the dog, that they even beat it. THAT takes courage!

 

[Chava]

I'd just agree with giving the dog up to a shelter and letting her have a safe home. You could even call a shelter right now and leave a message if they are closed or do not have an on-call number (you only have to say you can't handle her or that you cannot take care of her). I'd also ditto this not being an appropriate scenario for blaming anyone else, even if that's the source of your anger. It sounds like you want to own up to it and make things right, and that's a good start. I'm sorry for what you've been through and I hope you find a way to keep communicating with your doc, or get a new one. My mom was violent when she was in her rages. Welts, broken things, when I tried to lock myself into my room she broke the lock, when I tried to hold the door shut, she broke it against my back. But I love my dog. He's high maintenance and he annoys me sometimes, but I don't have to hurt him because somebody else hurt me. I LOVE HIM. Some people are not dog people and should not have dogs. Please, please, please surrender your dog out of the love you might have for her and also for yourself...knowing that this is not okay behavior towards you or anyone else. Compassion.

Take care of yourself and take care of your dog...but probably those two things don't belong together right now. I hope you get help for your own pain and anger. Freeing your dog to a new home, and freeing yourself from that cycle of abuse and guilt would be a great start.

 

[Ed Norton]

I don't think that you should have animals at all, ever. Very bad! Absolutely no excuse for it.

 

[StarChild]

You can't but don't worry, I already reported you @Little Flower.

 

[Seagreen]

Hi Yutahji,
I am really concerned for you at the moment. I think that you should seek immediate help and not do something you will later regret. Can you go somewhere safe where you are unlikely to harm yourself or others. A hospital, friend or a local police station? Hopefully someone else can offer other suggestions that are local to you.

I am so glad that you have reached out about this. It is sometimes really hard to ask for help, especially when you are admitting to something that might result in an adverse reaction. I can tell that you don't really want to hurt your dog as you are trying to seek help. You will find that people are more willing to help you if you don't do any harm to others, including animals.

I am sorry your doctor isn't listening to you. A lot of people on here will probably agree that it can take a while to find a doctor that is a good match for them. Don't give up, because when you do find the right doctor things will be a lot better. At the moment I think that you should prioritise by getting yourself to a safe place or calling a crisis line for more advice. You can address the issues you have raised for a long term solution later. There will be people who are willing to help and support you if they can see that you are genuinely trying to make a positive change.

Seagreen

 

[joeylittle]

Hi Andi (@Yutahji), welcome back to the forum.

I re-read your introduction post. Is your current doctor a trauma specialist, and do they know your full history? You might be bi-polar, you might not; but what really sticks out to me in your post is that you do not feel like you are being heard by your doctor regarding your history of abuse.

You wrote about Cindy, your cat, and your Shiba, and your lizards. You wrote about wanting to be a vet. I know it took massive courage to post here about what is happening to you right now. Remember that the suffering is the illness; it is not who you are.

You must be at a very low point if you are taking your anger out on your dog. So it's important that you find a solution to get your treatment back on track.

If your current therapist is not someone who works with trauma, I think you need to search for someone who is. PM me if you want help with that.

Don't get fixated on whether or not you have a bi-polar diagnosis. You are in crisis regardless. Something you can say to your current doctor: "It is hard for me that you do not validate my abuse history. I think I have problems in my daily life stemming from that and need real help with those problems. Are you willing to work with me on those?" Write it down on a card if you need to.

Don't take it out on your dog. You don't want to be doing that. Remember, she hasn't done anything to hurt you. The very next time you feel an impulse to lash out, walk away and count backwards from 100 with a big breath in-between each number. Don't go back to the dog until you are calm again.

If caring for a dog is too much pressure, you should give her to a friend to keep or give her to the shelter.

Thinking of you. You've survived a lot; you can survive this, and you can heal. You need trauma therapy with a doctor you can trust. If your thoughts of suicide persist, given your history, I would strongly, strongly suggest you go to the hospital.

I mean all of this with compassion: I hope it has helped in some way.

 

[ms spock]

So much of my life is affected by this because of my mother. Why do I have to suffer for her mistake? My entire life was displaced because of her.

Imaging if your mother hadn't taken her stuff out on you, what would have that life looked like for you?

Now think of your dog and ask yourself if you want to be like your mother to your dog, obviously you don't because you were very, very brave in posting this thread and talking honestly about abusing your dog.

I think you need to be hospitalised. You need to arrange for the dog to be elsewhere.

What is a plan you can make to take care of yourself and take care of your dog?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I'm not sure if I'm more disturbed that you beat the crap out of your dog or that you're getting such complacent responses. Sorry, but no, I don't give you "props" for posting. You're a dog beater, plain and simple. Give your dog up NOW. Do you realize that dogs can develop PTSD like symptoms? MY DOG HAS THEM AND IT BREAKS MY HEART! No, I did not beat her. She was a rescue dog who had at least 5 previous homes and she has the same sort of symptoms that I do. Exaggerated startle response. Cowering when you make a sudden unexpected movement. Etc....

If your dog could speak and came on here and posted that her sufferer was beating her (as other supporters do) then everyone would have more than a few choice words about how PTSD does not make someone physically abusive. So, please throw that excuse out the window. You have a CHOICE as to whether or not you beat your dog, and you are choosing to beat her rather than learn how to manage your anger in acceptable ways.

Lets just say that if I could identify you then I would report you to the humane society, the police, and any other governing body that could help your poor dog. She deserves better.

ETA

Are people not being harsh because the OP is female? If a guy came on here and posted about beating his dog, I don't think we'd have the same sort of responses. Yeah, this leads back to my personal issues with females not being considered as monsters in society when they can be.... Yes, my sexual abuser was female. I see these sort of responses all the time, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

 

[Ed Norton]

@Solara Well said!!!
I feel horrible about the dog, you're right if it were a male posting. I doubt that there would be so much coddling and excuses for animal torture. I don't think that I can say more without being banned.

 

[Ghostybear73]

@Solara if the dog came on here as a supporter, we would tell the dog to leave until the abuser got help and lots of it. We are giving the same advice here. I think you are missing some important things here.

1. Dogs can't type
2. Since the dog cant type, the owner has come on to advocate.
3. Every person that has responded has told the owner to give up the dog.

Providing the owner is willing to give up the dog, do you not think this person deserves to be helped?

Lets talk about that for a minute. I am working really hard at controlling my anger/violence. I have done some things very abusive things to my partner. I am getting help and lots of it. I have begged him to leave until I get to a point where I have more skills and can control my episodes. Knowing this is a different situation because the dog can't talk, I would like to remind you that the OP has posted for help and hopefully can give up the dog because he is not human (the dog) and can't say what he feels or just leave.

My big point to telling that story is my partner is human, not a dog. Does that mean I don't deserve to get the help I need. Yes, when I get really bad one of us go stay somewhere else for a day or two, but I believe I still deserve the help and compassion and empathy that everyone else does.

I have noticed you have been very harsh on people this past month or so. More demeaning and speaking your mind without a care of how it affects others. And I'm not just talking about this post. I see it all the time anymore with you. It seems like you have become less compassionate for others, which makes me wonder this site is helping you. Maybe you should take a little break from the site until you have the capabilities to act appropriately. You do know you don't have to post on others threads, right?

I appreciate the fact that your opinion in this matter counts, I do not appreciate your approach.