Acceptance Of Past

[Flutterbee]

For a long time I've spent alot of my time thinking about the past, the ways people have hurt me, what it's done to me and basically analysing everything. At the time I thought it was helpful because I was trying to make sense of what is going on for me but now I'm wondering if it's holding me back from at least trying to have some sort of happiness. I've tried to stop these thoughts but they keep coming back and everyday PTSD reminds me of what happened and what I felt in the past. So, my question is, what are the ways in which you've found some sort of peace with your past? Is it even realistic to think it's possible to find acceptance?

 

[Silver.]

I couldn't say there is a "peace with my past", but I have to say that everything I have gone through, has made me the person I am today. If I hadn't have lost my parents so young, well I probably wouldn't be so good a parent myself, and I wouldn't love as much and as hard as I do. I am quite fond of the person I am today, and yes, the past, it's horrible, and it's always going to be there. But it's the bad things that change us, and sometimes for the better (I think)

 

[Bloomy]

Ive realised the past years that the past is the past. It happend. And cant be undone. This is the rugsack I will alway carry if I like it or not So Im not thinking that much about it anymore as Ive realised this. More the problem I have today is the consequense. The bills I must pay for being so traumatized as I where. Driving my life down the ditch. And thats what I deal with today. Trying to mend the broken pieces of a ruined life.
I also feel actually wuite fond of my self today. On good days. I can look my self in the mirror and say that I like me.
But still I got those horrible days. Think its more due to the uncertainty of my dificult circumstances.
Im trying to learn to deal with that too. And my nerve system that seems to be working overtime. Making my reactions not so accordingly to what happens.

 

[Naoru]

I'm not sure about peace with the past either, but an acceptance sure... an acceptance that it happened and it cannot be undone. I still struggle with this sometimes as I think many do... but I'm learning how to try to learn from the past by making those connections.... and on dark days, dark moments, it all goes out of the window. I think I'm allowed those moments and it doesn't mean my path to healing has stopped. What I went through sucked and on those dark days, I flat out don't want to accept it... and I think that's valid so long as I don't allow it to fester and keep me down. Accept where I am each day and accept why I am where I am. Hope that made sense. Exhausted at the moment.

 

[Silver.]

I have to say @Bloomy and @Naoru I really like and admire your responses x

 

[Deleted member 541]

For me.... It was dealing with the trauma and the symptoms that certain traumas brought forth. Dealing and desensitizing from triggers was the biggest issue to overcome. Once that issue was dealt with, then the trauma wasn't so overwhelming. I look back on the crap that hppened in my life and now it isn't as hurtful or as stinging as it once was. There is very little emotion attached to the memories now.

 

[ladee]

Great posts by everyone!! Guess I have accepted my past...like others here, doesn't mean I don't have bad times... but I have already lived thru the bad stuff, the rest of this is life on life's terms... and some days I do great,,, am a real grown up... other days, not so much... but that passes too..
Most of my memories are simply pictures without feelings attached....
All of us work so hard... we are the strongest people on the planet... and we come here and care about each other... we are NOT our past.

 

[shimmerz]

I think I am aiming more for peace in the present. 60 seconds at a time is the goal. Anything else seems too big.

 

[Gadgie]

I don't like thinking about the past, as that's where all my bad memories and experiences are. I wasn't even sure if I had a future so I couldn't think about that either?

Especially when I went through that bad spell when I almost topped myself, so the present wasn't a good option either?

Now, a few months later, after a lot of help and support from the good folk in this site, I now see a future for me, even though it means being alone, I still look forward to living it.

I'm wondering if my present health problems have had something to do with my change in attitude, but I seem to take each day on as it comes.

 

[EveHarrington]

Peace/acceptance through healing and processing IME-----it happens gradually over time. I'm no longer so focused on the past as I am hyper-focused on the future. It's a hell of its own, sadly. :-/

 

[Panda Bear]

I find peace with my past, but looking to the future and what the purpose is behind my pain. It's not been in vain.....it's been for a reason this whole time. From the time I was a little girl, till now...a 38yr old woman. I've never been forgotten, not once. People have been placed in my life during some of my darkest hours, all this time.

I choose to believe that my pain has a purpose, a future. But you have to fight for it, fight to keep the perspective. Fight to keep your past from determining your future. It's a daily, hourly fight at times.

 

[Bloomy]

@Panda Bear I say halleluja and Amen to what you write. Fight to keep the perspective. Not to drown in the pain from what was and can not be otherwise. Fight to keep it from determing your presence and future. Monthly, weekly, daily, hour by hour second by second. Till hopefully one day one can bloom.