Accepting And Admitting

[Blackjack]

i have been talking to a dear friend on here and have really realised how much I struggle with accepting when I am ill or injured and also in admitting it to others and so seeking help for myself.
I have got in the mess I am in now by trying to not accept that I was ill and worst still not admitting that I was ill and seeking help.
From the time I was a young child I was told by my mother that it was wrong to be ill or injured and if you were then she said nobody would love me and that I was just attention seeking. This was often accompanied by a hard smack and She made it very clear that sickness or injury was a terrible crime. She has huge issues with hospitals and even when I suffered concision after falling from a horse she still refused to take me to be checked. I am paying the price now though and really struggle with justifying caring for myself.
You take car

 

[Mim28]

Blackjack, I'm very proud of you for admitting it. It can be very hard to unlearn those lessons that we learned young, no matter how wrong we know them to be. Your mind is questioning everything right now and it's pushing back, and that's okay. You are in the right place to help you learn the way to love and care for yourself. I was always told never to cry. And I didn't. Big mistake to make someone hold their emotions in.
We are learning, growing, and healing. I'm proud of you.
Hugs,
Mim

 

[Mytime]

BJ, I'm so proud of you for taking the first step to recovery. Taking the time to learn how to re- Parent your mind.
I know you have the strength to do the work. Sending hugs and support:)

 

[Deleted member 34328]

I was told by my mother that it was wrong to be ill or injured

If you were told you were wrong to respond to illness or injury by the person who influenced the most, at the age where you were most impressionable, why is it such a surprise that you have a hard time admitting the need for help now?

Makes complete sense to me. You're just doing as you were taught and then feeling guilty for taking the opposite approach. There's nothing wrong with that! You're a very brave person to be taking a stand now. It's a struggle and a mental battle each time, but here you are.

Is it hard? Of course! Does it hurt? Yes! You didn't get into any mess. Mess came to you. You didn't ask for it or embrace it... decisions were made for you and you were given no voice to speak into what was being programmed into you as a young child.

I think you're a wonderful person with a lot more backbone and strength than you have any idea about.

 

[aut555]

I want to join everyone else and say what a great thing you did here. That's got to be hard to do, to ask for help, means l am not perfect, that messes me up, screws up my little planet. But asking for help is ok. In the end, it may free you and all the weight you carry on your shoulders! Compassion and hope you are healing and using your hand.