Accepting lack of justice/ social inequality?

[unbrokenn]

@unbroken Did it work for you or does it still revisit with intrusions or flashbacks? In other words, were you able to finally table it in your head, and move on, after you accepted an apology that never happened. The only way I could move on from being raped by my X-husband was to craft it under he had a horrible MH issue, and he came from trauma. While there was no apology either.....seeing other people as incapacitated as I have been, and consider the worst I have done in retaliation......seems to help but sadly, my life, like many others has been shaped to some degree, by trauma.

It worked perfectly for me.
Of course I’m not the same as I was before. I never will be.
But it’s better than living with the burden of what they did to me everyday. I can live with the flashbacks and symptoms as long as this anger and hurt is gone.

 

[Mee]

Thank you very much @unbrokenn . I am glad this works for you , and I agree with you and your therapist. this particular difficulty is less with the Perpetrators / individuals than with the infrastructures/ cultural problems.

 

[unbrokenn]

Thank you very much @unbrokenn . I am glad this works for you , and I agree with you and your therapist. this particular difficulty is less with the Perpetrators / individuals than with the infrastructures/ cultural problems.

I agree. I mean, it probably could work if you made some changes to the ideology, but I’m not sure of how it’d work in your circumstance.

 

[katz]

My perpetrator will never go to jail or apologize or anything. I'm basically OK with this because it means I never have to interact with her again.

Part of healing is to evict the perpetrators from our brains. The actions that gave me PTSD have ended. She isn't anywhere near me now and hasn't acted on me for years and years. It's over.

Human justice is an extremely fallible thing, almost to the point of uselessness. I have to just accept that. Perhaps there's a more universal justice that we can rely on. Maybe not.

I've decided to look at it in the same way that a person who's been paralyzed has to look at life. An accident happened and the result is completely unfair. But unfair or not, we continue to live. We make the best of it.

I admire that you can do this. I know that, I will never get even an aknowlegment from any family members.

I also have had four times when it was a stranger. The only way for me to put it behind me is to stop trying to find their faces in my memories and just convince myself that they are all dead now because it was so long ago.

I also tell myself that all of them had to - or have to - face "judgement day". I still have one person left that hurt me and has not passed. When he goes, I think it will be - for me....a great sigh of relief. Maybe then I will feel, at least a little more, safe from the world.

 

[TruthSeeker]

I admire that you can do this. I know that, I will never get even an aknowlegment from any family members.

I also have had four times when it was a stranger. The only way for me to put it behind me is to stop trying to find their faces in my memories and just convince myself that they are all dead now because it was so long ago.

I also tell myself that all of them had to - or have to - face "judgement day". I still have one person left that hurt me and has not passed. When he goes, I think it will be - for me....a great sigh of relief. Maybe then I will feel, at least a little more, safe from the world.

Thats a positive way to put it in perspective. Thanks.....

 

[Mee]

Gah. My feelings about family are so confused now with feelings of the person whose behaviour initiated my ptsd. I had a terrible flashback this afternoon. The guilt I have over it all. That I cannot hate my family, and I can’t hate him; it’s so confusing.

I feel so disappointed and disgusted in myself; in the choices I made of who to trust. Not just him. Friends. How stupid I have been. And why can’t I be as angry with him as I am the people I see as enabling the abuse? As I am with myself?

Stupid knee. I also am vit d deficient despite taking prescribed vit d , and all my other readings are off. I feel a bit reassured it’s not ‘just’ mental health making me tired.


Edit: wrong thread: thought I was ranting in my diary ??