Accountability Friends! :)

[Definitely..maybe]

Hope everybody's doing okay right now!

I'm getting ready for school to start tomorrow and am very nervous because I haven't done in person classes in a year now. But I'm trying my best!

 

[Definitely..maybe]

Medically my pain has been a bit more manageable and I'm not just thinking about surgeries anymore- thinking of others way to heal.

 

[Definitely..maybe]

@Britt.f7 and @Ms Spock thinking really good thoughts for the both of you.

I'll be joining the doctors and tests club again soon when the start over of my deductible stops scaring me!

 

[Definitely..maybe]

Sorry for all the postings but...

I already got one classes homework done for the next week and a half! I was able to just concentrate on it all! Yay.

 

[untiltoday]

@Britt.f7 and @Ms Spock and @Definitely..maybe

Thinking good thoughts for each of you!

Hoping you each will get good news!

 

[untiltoday]

Finally heard back from my tests and no one (honestly NO one) knows how much I needed good news.

I was expecting bad or just not-great news, but I found out that I DON'T need another surgery (a category in my life, that is tied in several different ways with my PTSD) and I have only a minor problem to deal with. This minor problem might actually point to *another* sucky/long-term problem, but y'know...I'm trying to focus on what is positive and means the world to me right now. I really need to give myself and my positive thoughts/news more credit. I need to try harder to not jump to the next possible-worst-case-scenario.

I'm realizing that it was most likely THIS that has caused me to be completely stressed to the limit and restless all last week. I think I'm actually shocked by this news.

Sending good energy to everyone!

 

[Britt.f7]

@untiltoday Thank you for the well wishes. Everything is fine. I am very glad that you have good news. Surgeries can be very draining on the body and the psych. I am sharing in your good energy. Thank you again. :hug:

 

[Leah123]

Today for my PTSD I did two things, had a really helpful therapy session but also, on my own, I began to pull fabrics for my quilt. I found some really precious ones, full of memories, from as far back as my school years and also my daughter's infancy, very special.

Tonight, I'm feeling kinda rejected, I might just go to bed, I could use the sleep, maybe that'd help ease my feelings too, give me a little more perspective/resilience. :)

 

[ms spock]

Today for my PTSD I did two things, had a really helpful therapy session but also, on my own, I began to pull fabrics for my quilt. I found some really precious ones, full of memories, from as far back as my school years and also my daughter's infancy, very special.

Sounds like a lovely project.[DOUBLEPOST=1389684655][/DOUBLEPOST]Feeling really mega anxiety today. But went out and saw some friends, went for a dip in the ocean. Bought some food.

 

[Leah123]

Today I will read one chapter of my DBT workbook and one chapter of the parenting book my T recommended.

 

[untiltoday]

I woke up anxious. It might have been from having a very obvious processing dream...I guess that's what you would call it.

Definitely talking to therapist about it tomorrow. It was weirdly very telling of my problems today. Right down to using my first mobile phone= At 26, I still have the social/communication skills that I had/lacked as a 14 year old.

Anyway, I am trying to pull myself together to go out. I hate when my neighbors (apartment) are home early, because I hate feeling judged for always being home or going out in the daytime, unless I'm gone for a few hours.

I have to make up a "busy yet random schedule" in my head, in order to push myself out the door, with the risk of being noticed and having my awkwardness pointed out. This hasn't happened, but once, with a crazy neighbor who moved away...but still.

Believe me: I'd LOVE to be able to hold down a stressful job...I'd even love simply being able to leave my house 20x a day (like other people) with no thought of people judging me. *sigh*

 

[ms spock]

@untiltoday most people are so self obsessed that they don't know what you and I are doing. Not that is helpful when you are feeling judged, but it is something to keep in mind.