Addiction

[Evan]

I have read enough to know an attraction to porn-especially bondage type is not unusual for ptsd sufferers who went through sexual abuse. The problem is how does one stop it?
It's horribly embarrassing and a topic that I just can't broach with my male therapist. I've discussed tons of things that would turn most people white or red but never this. I can reconcile the fact that this is the only way I can find satisfaction now.

 

[Evan]

Going to a female therapist is not an option. This is the first place I've even admitted to this issue

 

[Ojone]

So it's not just porn, it's a porn addiction, and the only way you can get off is with porn?

 

[Evan]

:( Correct.

 

[Evan]

I can reconcile the fact that this is the only way I can find satisfaction now.

CAN'T reconcile.
That's what o get for doing this on a phone

 

[Kicod]

Is it interfering with your relationship?

 

[Evan]

I guess it's worth noting that I am a female.

 

[Evan]

Well I suppose it is and isn't. I am not dating nor am I trying to date but that's mainly a result of the fact that I don't trust myself to not be attracted to another abuser

 

[Warim]

Like every addiction.

Lowen the doses, or exposure in this case.
Learn to deal with the urges differently.
Substitute by something healthier.
Keep at it, and don't come back.

Also, eliminate what triggers you to viewing as possible.

 

[Cajoc]

rebootnation.org and yourbrainonporn.com
Two very illuminating websites. Research the guy that runs reboot - awesome work on the subject. He's been through it, knows what he is talking about.
Like any addiction, 1st step is admitting.
Ask for help. And work damn hard to address and correct the problem if you want to change. But it can be done.
You're not alone. Not at all. Probably in a majority - you'd be surprised. And it is treatable.
Good luck with it. Thank you for your honesty and sharing.

 

[Evan]

Not really sure what triggers it. Working on that still. Been trying to cut back but haven't been as successful in that arena.
I guess I'll just keep trying

 

[Nowebi]

I have read enough to know an attraction to porn-especially bondage type is not unusual for ptsd sufferers who went throu...

This one is definitely one I have not talked to my female therapist as a 53 year old male. I don't know about the bondage thing, but I will check out the girl-girl thing only. And I do so not very often. But God made me a normal male, and every now and then, you have to check and see if the mechanics are still alive. It is what it is, and I am not ashamed of it at all.