Adrenals - insomnia - advice?

[MamaHopeful]

I have PTSD which I've been able to manage fairly well for 15 years.

Then, after an incredibly traumatic year, on March 5th, I went to sleep and could not sleep. My eyes would close and I would begin to drift and then BAM! the biggest hit of adrenaline. I'd sit up shaking, sweating, terrified, and starving, often to the point of extreme nausea. This has gone on every single night, except for 5 nights, since then.

I spend my days online researching what could be the matter with me. I cannot function. I am in a constant state of fight-or-flight and when I say constant, I mean it's like a panic attack that refuses to shut off.

My hunch is that my adrenals are kicked but I don't know how to fix them because of the severe nausea. I can barely keep broth down and an apple.

My doc put me on Paxil so I am praying that kicks in, but the xanax and klonapin didn't work and actually made my nervous system go bonkers and pump out more adrenaline.

I guess I'm just looking for hope. I miss sleep. I miss my children. I miss my life.

I've tried every essential oil, every yoga pose, everything over this 6 weeks and I'm starting to feel like my body is just broken and forever stuck in panic attack mode. I can't even go for a walk without my heart POUNDING outside of my chest. My thoughts race nonstop. Everything feels terrifying. Even my own house.

If you have some hope, if you've been here, please let me know.

 

[Happyplace76]

I have PTSD which I've been able to manage fairly well for 15 years.

Then, after an incredibly tr...

I know exactly how that feels. Up until today (today was the first day) in almost two months that I stopped feeling that way. It feels like your body just won't stop, your mind, heart pounding, racing constantly - then freezing and the fear, only to repeat over and over and over again. I don't wish it on anyone, and I'm so sorry you're going through this. Know that you aren't alone! You're so not alone!! Try the ER, it's what I had to do... and then my psychiatrist got me in - after only being on Lexapro for that whoooole entire time. It was hell. I know you are going through hell. Hang on. I'm sorry the Xanax and Klonopin aren't working. For me it stopped the brain firing. Hopefully there is something else for you. He's also increased my Prazosin at night - that has helped considerably with the morning wakings and first thing in the morning panic. I tried grounding but my mind couldn't even relax until the body was taken care of. Breathing did help though - if you haven't been doing that, I would recommend that. I also had to stay away from all caffeine. That was hard because I loved my soda and coffee, but the consequence was worse. Hoping you find some peace tonight, you are strong to weather that kind of pain.

 

[MamaHopeful]

Thank you.
For me the Klonopin causes me to feel super out of my body, which then causes me to panic because it feels like I'm dissociating. I wish there was a way!

I should also add that during my PTSD attack I was drugged. And so I now have a PROFOUND fear of all drugs. So for me, taking an anti anxiety pill causes me anxiety. I wish I could just throw back a xanax and sleep, but instead I just flashback all night long. It's so hard.

Sorry, I keep hitting reply too soon :)
I cannot take Prazosin because I have extremely low blood pressure to start with so my doctor won't let me on it. I'm telling you, I'm in a pickle!

 

[Happyplace76]

Yikes, I'm so sorry! You poor thing... :( I wish there was something that could help you right now because I really know how that feels.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Things that help me with some of the things you explained: (I tend to get wordy, so I apologize in advance)

Ginger root is great for nausea (please note many of the ginger ale sodas don't even contain actual ginger)...I drink ginger "tea" (I call it infusion since I associate tea with caffeine) daily.....a cup in the am and in the evening and sometimes a cup or two in between. I make it the same way I used to make hot tea. I often times blend various herbs with it, depending on what my body feels it needs that day. Be careful with introducing different herbs and be sure to research interactions with other meds you're taking if you decide to go that route. If I feel nauseous, I will place a small piece of the ginger root under my tongue and/or chew on it.

I used to suffer from insomnia big time. I was prescribed xanax and ambien....was told to take the xanax when I got home from work (was a shift worker) then take the ambien (zolpidem) at bed time, and if I couldn't stay asleep to take another xanax. It helped on occasion, but overall, just made me feel like shit during the times I needed to function the most. I never felt fully rested or fully awake. I'd often wake after 2 hours or so and be on high alert, sweating profusely, short of breath, and that was it, I was up the rest of the night regardless what else I took.

I later learned, by happening upon it while web surfing as I eventually became mostly bed ridden at the time, that the ambien 10 mg dose that I'd been prescribed, along with most other women taking it, was twice the dose recommended for females, but my doc nor the pharmacist ever mentioned that the FDA lowered the dose. That explained a lot.

I'd been told I had hormonal issues/adrenal issues/peri-menopause issues/gastric issues/respiratory issues/fibromyalgia/osteoarthritis/etc./etc. and had been trying so many different meds to address each thing, but kept worsening instead of getting better, especially when the side effects rolled in. I eventually did a drastic lifestyle change, thanks to an ER visit where I was facing organ removal, to include every single thing I ingest and use on or around my body, everything I think, and everything I say, and have been sleeping better than ever the last three years (knock on wood).

I also resigned from the shift work job, relocated to a spot surrounded by nature, practice deep diaphragmatic breathing/alternate nostril breathing/rhythmic breathing (check the link below)/square breathing daily, purposely move in fun ways each day, no longer ingest animal flesh or their by-products (the energy/cellular memories they experience in their fight/flight modes, especially at slaughter time, very much gets digested by whoever eats it, I strongly feel), no longer ingest caffeine or alcohol, no longer ingest eggs, eliminated gluten, and as many artificially processed products as humanly possible, including scents.

We totally wreck our endocrine systems with what we've been taught to believe to be "good hygiene", "good nutrition", etc.... which are mostly synthetic scents and ingredients nowadays. We aren't only what we eat, but also what we eat eats. Our bodies remain in a state of ongoing shock, of sorts, trying to protect us from ourselves and we spend our lives fighting off each symptom, yet ignoring the roots and never really paying attention to what we expect our brain and body to use as fuel to get us through the day.

I had to be catapulted into the changes by an ER visit and out of desperation of having tried all the other insurance-approved methods. I don't suggest jumping in head first and doing it all at once, though, as i also learned that slowly transitioning is much kinder to both the body and the mind. It's the hardest damn thing I've ever done, but the rewards have been like no other. I had a village of helpers who were/are willing to barter guiding me and working one on one to closely monitor my pursuits, thank goodness. I've been able to manage my symptoms for three years now without the help of any prescription meds, but I had been told I'd be on several for a lifetime if I expected to have any quality of life.

The breathing is the most immediately effective for me when it comes to calming my nervous system down in the moment and helping me reach a space of relaxation. It's free and available 24/7 and one of the few things I still feel in control of. Here's one of the first breathing exercises I learned that changed my life:

Rhythmic Stress Relief: Stopwatch Tap Technique with Jim Donovan

Also, at night, I tend to do slow nostril inhales to the count of 4 (or however high you can comfortably count) and slow gentle mouth exhales to the count of 8 or higher. If I remember correctly, that helps with the parasympathetic nervous system, but my memory isn't my best asset, so I may be wrong.

May something in my essay response be of help and may you find what it takes for your particular biology to achieve some restorative rest. Take good care.

 

[littleoc]

(I tend to get wordy, so I apologize in advance)

(You've never said anything that wasn't helpful to at least one person!)

 

[blackemerald1]

@MamaHopeful so you have managed your PTSD really well for a long time and you acknowledge this past year has been very traumatic. Maybe it is something in this last year that has to be worked on? Idk I know what you are speaking of and I could not believe my symptoms could escalate so quickly and stay there.

For me it was a culmination of several things I wasn't coping with at all well. Along with PTSD.

I already do not drink anything except for water because everything else stimulates me unacceptably.

In one of my worst moments I told my psydoc I was going to die, my heart would not cope with beating so fast for so long. I truly believed it despite him telling me I would move through this. I recall telling him my heart is a pump, all pumps wear out. Mine is going to wear out at any moment :rolleyes: I must have been hysterical at some stage. I was certain I was about to die. It is a very real feeling. I do not under estimate your problem at all.

Maybe time to go back to the doc and get him to check you out.

Btw my doc was correct. I didn't die, my heart and most of my symptoms toned down after a while. I truly thought he was nuts being so calm about it all. Turned out it me being totally nuts instead. :wacky:

 

[glass frog]

Pretty sure I know the feeling you're talking about- it's horrible, it almost feels like your heart stops for a second! From the research I did, that feeling seems to be called a hypnic jerk (unless you are describing something slightly different).
That feeling happens to me probably once every few nights-- but maybe twice a month it happens over and over and keeps me up for hours. I think that many people get these a couple times at some point in their lives, but anxiety and PTSD or other disorders that mess with your nervous system seem to make them more frequent. And that constant fight-or-flight state is the worst.
For me, just being able to recognize what it was has been helpful so that after being jerked awake, I can settle down again more easily. Having the room darker also seems to ward it off a little. Of course everything I read says to maintain good sleep hygiene and avoid caffeine, which can trigger those feelings. Just a couple things to consider. I really hope the new medication helps you!

 

[Happyplace76]

I got an adult coloring book yesterday with pencils and markers, and just sat next to a friend and colored for like 3 hours, having regular conversation, helping his daughter pick out her prom dress. It helped considerably. I also had a few puffs of some cannabis which I'm sure helped as well but I think it was the coloring and the intense focus of planning the colors and shading that helped. It was like a wild goose chase finding the coloring book lol but it was well worth it. I hope your body has calmed down a little. I would also see your doctor about having your adrenal glands looked at, having some testing done. Cross stitching in the past (which I'm not a very crafty person per say) was very soothing - just some things to try. Take it easy sweetie!

 

[PiggyBack]

I have an auto immune thing going on, so I had a theory that I had hyperthyroidism. It lined up so neatly with my symptoms, but alas, my doctor ruled it out with an easy blood test. Despite my mind being perfectly calm and at ease, my doctor said that I was describing a perfectly a panic attack. It might be worth ruling out hyperthyroidism.

 

[littleoc]

It might be worth ruling out hyperthyroidism.

They might be able to from the same kind of tests.

That's almost disappointing, but at least it's ruled out?

 

[MamaHopeful]

Thank you all for all of your help. The episodes of adrenaline surge anxiety went away but then came back with a vengeance and a migraine with aura. I'm starting to think it might all be related to my diet. Like maybe my PTSD and anxiety is stressing out my body so much and I need more fat/good fuel to keep it going? All I know is I just want my damn life back. I wish these episodes had a name and a diagnosis instead of every doctor looking at me like I'm bananas. Also the constant vomiting is so hard to handle because HOW do I eat well and take care of myself if I'm just throwing up all the time? I feel so hopeful sometimes and other times I'm just so tired. Thank you again for all of your feedback. It really means a lot to me.