Advice on wording consent boundaries for dating

The_One

Learning
Very interesting thread and I feel like we have the same dating history and like you I’ve just started dating again after 3 years (it’s been tough with all the narc abuse I’ve been through and dealing with over protective no boundary knowing parents) I have to mentally and physically prepare my body to date each time I do it. It’s very emotionally draining for me. Maybe we can chat sometime and talk about our experiences
 

OliveJewel

MyPTSD Pro
Maybe we can chat sometime and talk about our experiences
Are there any experiences that stand out to you that you want to share?

It didn’t work out with that guy. And just yesterday I was thinking how glad I am that it didn’t. And also I was also thinking how glad I am that I’m not in an intimate relationship with another guy friend because I like our friendship and wouldn’t want to feel emotionally attached to him.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s narcissistic to want to be single. I guess it could be, but I don’t need to go down that rabbit hole. My ex shows symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and he can’t be single. I think there are both coupled and single people who show traits of NPD.

I guess it’s nice to be able to feel okay with myself being single. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to do the dating apps anymore. The whole premise is rather unseemly. Too image based and too much attention focused on “the next one who might be slightly better”. I think I will meet someone in real life only or just be single.
 

The_One

Learning
Are there any experiences that stand out to you that you want to share?

It didn’t work out with that guy. And just yesterday I was thinking how glad I am that it didn’t. And also I was also thinking how glad I am that I’m not in an intimate relationship with another guy friend because I like our friendship and wouldn’t want to feel emotionally attached to him.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s narcissistic to want to be single. I guess it could be, but I don’t need to go down that rabbit hole. My ex shows symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and he can’t be single. I think there are both coupled and single people who show traits of NPD.

I guess it’s nice to be able to feel okay with myself being single. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to do the dating apps anymore. The whole premise is rather unseemly. Too image based and too much attention focused on “the next one who might be slightly better”. I think I will meet someone in real life only or just be single.
I had two exes one of which I dated for 8 years and he was very manipulative, stonewalled a lot, communication was horrible, love bombed alot in the first 3-4 months, after that he barely did Jack shit pressured me into having sex (I did end up losing my virginity to him) I should’ve left the relationship it caused alot of drama in all the areas of my life. The mind games and emotional abuse were too much. I was suspsrcfing he cheated various times throughout the relationship with no proof I didn’t know fully. Until one day a girl messaged me saying that my bf was hers too. Had screenshots of them talking sounded like her, for a full year I was in denial but it kept bothering me that it was her and he could’ve been cheating of course he denied it. Then finally he was acting weird telling me he didn’t love me anymore and didn’t see a future with me anymore. That’s when I knew something was going on. I found out from his sister he got another girl pregnant and it took me a while to figure out that he got this girl that messaged me befor pregnant. I blocked him everywhere and he kept trying to call and I had to change my number. Ever since then I haven’t spoken to him. Idk how he got married and how their relationship lasts because this guy doesn’t know how to communicate (like talking to a wall) and he’s not good with conflict resolution like this guy used to run away literally if our conflicts got too heated. I can’t believe he is married and has a kid. Total trash. It’s been 6 years since that breakup.

My next ex also cheated on me, we knew each other for 6 months dated for 3 and honestly in a lot of ways he was a lot better than my ex (communication) but he had a lot of problems on his own and he cheated on me too.

It’s a lot girl. It’s a lot. 😵‍💫 I’ve gone on dates didn’t really go anywhere and I have anxiety now while dating. Idk if it’ll ever go away. My walls are so high that every thing that a man says to me within the first convo we have over dating apps if I don’t like it I’ll unmatch.
Don’t know when I’ll ever be ready to date again.
 
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