After Being Strongly Triggered, How Long Does It Take To Recover?

[Tinyflame]

Dear @Fadeaway , after going through intense years of the same I don't think you 'lose' progress (though logically it certainly feels like only so!), it's more the onion-peeling analogy. I would even call it the 2-steps-forward-1-back. But most accurately (for myself) I'd call it falling-apart-to-eventually-get-better. :hug:

Needless to say, after being severely triggered these past 10 days I've gotten sick. :( Always happens. I call it 'fall apart' but it's really emotional impact + triggers.

Dear @Lidia , I think it is unique so it might be different for each person. Though less pressure, being stable/ constant/ & somewhat easy-going helps to be around. Whatever is lacking- if it's fear, calmness in others helps (me). If it's over-stimulation, predictability, peace helps. If it's overwhelm, being told it will be ok helps. If it's depression, kindness & distractions removed from triggers helps. If it's physical safety, presence helps.

Probably the nicest thing anyone could do is to create an environment where it's 'ok' for person with ptsd to do for themself 'whatever' that helps them decompress, even for a short while. And to be a bit flexible with plans or expectations. :hug:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I do not get triggered very often anymore but when I am, I am pretty shaken up for a day, until I can find some sort of peace or resolution. But it used to very bad for me and lasted weeks.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Can you please define what your level of triggering is? I mean what is triggering to you at each level and the resulting symptoms. I think this is an interesting conversation, but I think its kind of useless to compare with no context.

 

[Fadeaway]

@Solara You make a good point.

Doorbells are a trigger for me, knock all you want, but don't ring the doorbell. They will send me into an absolute panic attack, but I am usually fine within a couple of hours.

However, last July, when my ex found out I was getting married again, had his friend vandalize both mine and my husbands car. I knew who it was so I went down to the local domestic violence advocates to ask for help getting a restraining order. Just going into the building started the trigger, having been down that road before under worse circumstances, but when they uttered the words "Sorry, we can't help you." It sent me spiraling back to another time that I had completely pushed out of my memory. The building, the place the words... well, as I said earlier, it brought back things I wasn't ready to deal with and I am still trying to get past that one.

 

[Laura 2]

@Fadeaway - oh good grief, yes. I know just what you mean on both scores.

Even someone knocking at the door or hearing door knocking in a movie sends me into a full-on 'flee and hide' mode. All other things being well, it takes an hour or so to recover equilibrium.

Worse though is the business of having to contact e.g. DV units, Victim Support, police, doctors etc. Because it's 99% sure you'll hear "Sorry, we can't do anything".

Not long ago I wrote to the new Police and Crime Commissioner in our area, rationally setting out what the failure to stop persistent crime has done to me and my family and asking for help. Now, these P&C commissioners were brought in to HELP crime victims and advocate for them in getting all sorts of support etc.

The letter I got back threw me into a profound and suicidal flashback. It just said, in 5 lines, something like, 'sorry to hear that, hope your health improves soon'.

To be honest, I just wonder exactly WHAT all these 'services' actually do. I suspect that they're a) political, in that they're there to make the general population feel that someone, somewhere is doing something and b) to provide jobs for people (who are rather under-qualified mainly).

 

[silkleaves]

@Fadeaway @Laura 2 I wonder what it is about these types of sounds?

I have the same reaction to doorbells, door knocking...even on the tv. Also, sometimes I can swear I heard someone knock on the door but no one is there and kiddo says she didn't hear anything. Same goes for the doorbell, except we don't have one so I know its just me hearing things. The panic is two-fold...one the sound itself, and two when it seemed so real but it's only in my head.

 

[Laura 2]

@Fadeaway @Laura 2 I wonder what it is about these types of sounds?

Well, door knocking and door bells are precisely for alerting us to something or someone outside our 'castle'. Our particular experiences of what is often at our door (physically or otherwise) or out there in the wilderness beyond our 'safe territory' is probably what creates the fearful feelings.

For me, I think it's because I have learnt through my nightmare years of persistent crime that a knock on the door only means trouble or at the very least someone who will upset my hard-won peace and calm.

I think of it in exactly the same way as Pavlov conditioned his dogs. Except he trained his dogs to associate a bell ring with something good.

 

[Fadeaway]

Even in stores that have the doorbell sound chime when people walk in, I freak out. My husband and I were at a music store a few weeks back that had this, and after a few times of people coming and going I just burst into tears.

@Laura 2 I think you are correct.

 

[Laura 2]

Me too, Fadeaway. Exactly that. It makes going out to shop rather a re-traumatisation.

 

[silkleaves]

That makes a lot of sense @Laura 2 ... Actually, something comes to mind that I had talked to my therapist about, is when people call and text me, I get really anxious and annoyed. Like, if its just one I'm alright, but there are just those days when it seems like everyone wants to contact me all day, and I will get really upset, turn my phone off and refuse to get in touch with anyone for weeks. Which doesnt make sense because I like these people and have no reason not to.

And she said that it could be that the constant calls/ texts is like an intrusion on my personal space, that I'm at peace and then there's this constant ringing / beeping / chimes going off. She expressed it a lot better than I am now. Thankfully, it doesn't happen a lot, but when it does...I want to throw my phone into the river and tell people to write me a dang letter or leave me alone. Which like I said sucks, because I do like them...its nothing personal.

And no one knows where I live, the idea of someone dropping by and knocking on my door...forget it! Just the idea someone might do that freaks me out. Even my maintenance guy calls out hello at my door instead of knocking...I had to talk to him about that because oh man, why do they have to knock like they are the police about to barge in or something? I asked him not to do that anymore because it sort of freaks me out and hes been very cool about it.

 

[Lidia]

@silkleaves , what you describe sounds a lot like a guy I am seeing. He does not answer the phone and keeps it in silent mode. Also, I have not yet been told where he lives and he admitted that that's not normal but I guess that could be the reason...not sure. At first, I did not suspect he had PTSD, so I challenged him on these issues and he did not really know what to say. Je just kept apologising for his 'deficiencies', as he calls them.

 

[silkleaves]

Yeah @Lidia, I call it my "quirks" and for a long time, I really just believed it to be just that, me being a bit weird and trying not to be so weird, mostly because of how it bothers and inconveniences other people, which I really do feel bad about.

Now some people are just jerks. My ex had his phone on him at all times, it went off all the time and he was always busy replying to calls and texts, people were always coming and going and he was in the middle of everything, yet I could text him and not hear back from him for a week or so...he'd claim he was "inundated" I didn't even know what that word meant before I met him and can't stand that word now.

On the flip, I almost always forget my phone, or if I do have it, odds are pretty good the battery is dying or already has and if it rings or beeps, unless Im specifically waiting to hear from someone, I dont even look at my phone and get annoyed at it for going off. So the people who are around me see for themselves Im not attached to my phone and pretty much cant stand it for the most part.