Alcoholics Anonymous

[BloomInWinter]

The women was doing '12th Step Work' by reaching out to you, and it's one good sign of someone working their program well. Provided, of course, that they aren't hitting on you. :>

You never have to speak or say anything you don't care to at any meeting, ever. It's all up to you.

I do highly encourage you to at least give the women's meeting a chance. Our women's meeting is very supportive, and we have lunch afterwards. They have helped me far more with my PTSD recovery than an 3 other meetings I attend.

Feel free to go and just listen. We do usually tell people to give us 6 meetings before deciding it is not for you, because many of us don't speak freely with newcomers for a few meetings. Too scared. ;)

You also might discover that most of the women in AA have some kind of significant trauma in their backgrounds. Many have a PTSD, anxiety, or depression diagnosis, and mental illness is a really common co-morbidity. We call it a 'duel diagnosis.'

If you've never experienced a women's group - which does have emotion - usually without any of the games, you might just find a friend. I hated the idea and resisted for a long time but I got tired of people telling me to give my abusers forgiveness and another chance. When I go into my women's meeting, though, they just listen and accept it as my story.

I've never regretted it.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

We do usually tell people to give us 6 meetings before deciding it is not for you, because many of us don't speak freely with newcomers for a few meetings.

It is the same at the other support group I go too. A lot of new people show up, at least one every week. And then they never come back. So I know what you mean and I know about the 'give as a try' for 6 meetings thing.

The women was doing '12th Step Work' by reaching out to you, and it's one good sign of someone working their program well.

I don't understand this. Can you explain?

 

[BloomInWinter]

Sure. We got sober because others shared their story with us. For step 12, we're to try to help others recovery. We say we only keep what we have by giving it away.

It's out of gratitude for recovery that we do this service work. It remind us where we've been and how much better we are.

Finally, we learn that helping others helps us have meaning and connection in our lives. I've met a lot of wonderful people doing 12th Step work.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

The woman in question was sober for less then 24 hours. She was telling me how she hopes to get the 24 hour coin next meeting.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

There are two problems I have having with AA and both are 'me' problems.

1) I don't understand their ways and how things work yet and so I plan on being in the background for now.

2) I am not comfortable saying "I am an alcoholic." My brain keeps trying to think of ways that can not be true.

I know I will keep going for years. I go to another support group and know that a lot of new people will come to group and never return. They don't have to 'break me in' in terms of a support group. I know the befits of groups so I will keep going.

Have to go get ready to go to an AA meeting now.

 

[BloomInWinter]

That's ok, you don't have to be an alcoholic to go to meetings. "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking."
Many people who come in don't meet the definition of alcoholism but want to stop before getting there. That's a great thing.

It takes years to understand "how it works" but the funny thing is, only thoughtful mature people worry about learning it before sharing. So, feel free to share away!

Share whatever question you have at the moment, or anything bothering you. We have many many many newcomers in who don't think they're supposed to share. It's natural to feel that way. The truth is, just speaking out loud, even of nothing deep, helps us get comfortable quicker.

It also helps us old-timers be reminded of what it felt like to be new. You won't bother anyone who matters. There is no wrong thing to say.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Sometimes it's really hard to remember why I stay sober. It's really hard not to go to the liquor store and start sneaking in alcohol into my house again so Husband wont know. It's hard going anywhere near any sort of alcohol because I will start salivating.

I just want it. :banghead:

 

[BloomInWinter]

Are you doing the "HALT" action?

It's not letting ourselves get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. Taking care of these first decreases our distress at least somewhat and increases our coping abilities.

Hang in there!

 

[The Albatross]

Ayesha, personally I would stick to people and accept phone numbers from people who have about as much or more sobriety than you do.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I agree with you Alba. I understand needing a friend part but it sounds like I would end up pulling her along. I did email her, but it was a very generic 'great meeting you...hope to see you next time' kind of thing.

:tup:

Went to a meeting today and it was alright. I didn't talk during the meeting but people are starting to get used to me being there and I am starting to learn names and faces.

 

[The Albatross]

Glad that you are getting support for your sobriety, and I'm really proud of you. Know that when you start hearing about the steps and recovery, that the guiding principles are spiritually based but that doesn't mean you have to be a Christian. When they say "God of your understanding", it is inclusive. It means that a belief in something other than our own will power can be a guiding principle and source of strength and guidance in our ability to get and stay sober. The program of AA saved me from killing myself with booze about 13 years ago. I did all they suggested and got over 3 1/2 years sober. I did though have problems other than alcohol which I discovered and had to learn how to deal with "outside of AA" because of their "singleness of purpose". I was though fortunate to have two of my recovery sponsors who had "co-occuring behaviors" like myself, mental illness and alcoholism. Neither though, had PTSD. It is really good Ayesha, that you have a separate support system for your mental/emotional support and you can have your AA membership to support your choice of abstaining from booze.

I'll click watch on this thread and help you (along with Bloom) if I can.

 

[The Albatross]

From the standpoint of needing to be willing to explore or redefine what it means to lead a life of discipline and based on principles (spiritual or otherwise), I am a proponent of AA and the steps. What especially helped me during the step work was the learning and understanding of hyperactive or out of balance perspectives and instincts.