I've been sober 14 years, going to AA...amazing hope and support, and women who'd be willing to live at my house after surgery....great friends. I didn't have an issue with the God thing because I realized the suggestion was to be open to it. I knew I was spiritually bankrupt. Oddly, I still don't know anything about my higher power, but I trust life better and might still understand my higher power later...maybe it's the blind woman who manages to find me in my dreams when I go to bed depersonalized....she gives me a hug and I'm back in one piece when I wake up.
I got over trying to make perfect sense of the program, found a group I liked, and kept going back every week...I really committed to it. My drinking was killing me fast...lots of ER nights. I am so grateful to be sober and life has taken me to beautiful places I could have never imagined in my drinking days. I'm even grateful for the shitty days.
Give it a shot. Find a group you mostly like, listen, get to know some people. My urges to drink completely disappeared 13 years ago. Maybe I'm lucky, but the scary part initially is that you will just feel like drinking all the time, forever, which would be torture. For me the cravings came and went, became less, then disappeared. I haven't had an urge for years. But I keep going to meetings. I love AA...and like that I can be there to help a newcomer. Sobriety is such an important, life-changing step. Good luck!
(I see this is old, but for anyone who happens upon this...just go to AA...it's not perfect because it's led by a bunch if humans, but they will understand you....and it's SO hard to get sober alone....I didn't even like people when I quit drinking but I needed them and grew to be able to have some good relationships....was actually more helpful for my eating disorder than ED treatment...people to discuss fears with, but also laugh and go out for coffee and late night pancakes or whatever)
