Starfire
MyPTSD Pro
We have been with our T for years. He has been an amazing help. Just want to say that up front. We're meeting thru video now. Don't know if that's relevant. But lately we've been feeling overwhelmed. Recovering from ER surgery. Just needs time. But while staying home we let little ones and younger (nonadult) ones have free rein. They could come out for as long as they wanted. Do whatever as we have few obligation, few visitors.
Recently have gotten new info of abuse. Well, same abuse different times, details. Feeling this will never end. Made some connections between life choices and abuse. Was trying to explain to T how depressed we, mostly adults, we're feeling. We're missing time but safe in our home. He always said we never actually lost time cuz somebody knew. He also said he knew that whenever we needed an alter, the proper one always stepped forward.
If we needed to drive, one who could drive stepped forward. If we needed to meet with the doctor, the one in charge of medical stepped forward and dealt. Actually tried it out. There was an unexpected part to our last medical exam, that was upsetting and sending us toward a flashback. Barely made it to the car. To test his theory, put the car in reverse & said we got to go directly home, so someone who can drive better come. They did. Next memory was walking into the house with the impending feeling of flashback coming.
When we tried to explain that we are just tired of all this. Having realized how much of our life is wrapped up or goes back to the abuse, we don't want to live like that. T said how confident he was in us, how we had had such a successful life. Went on saying things I'm sure were complimentary.
Perhaps our Gov taking a step back cuz of the Virus plays a part as the way we dealt was keeping busy. Alters had different interests they were involved in. Left home now with just us, new memories of abuse and no way to get away. No acceptable ways to get away.
Hope this is making some kind of sense.
Recently have gotten new info of abuse. Well, same abuse different times, details. Feeling this will never end. Made some connections between life choices and abuse. Was trying to explain to T how depressed we, mostly adults, we're feeling. We're missing time but safe in our home. He always said we never actually lost time cuz somebody knew. He also said he knew that whenever we needed an alter, the proper one always stepped forward.
If we needed to drive, one who could drive stepped forward. If we needed to meet with the doctor, the one in charge of medical stepped forward and dealt. Actually tried it out. There was an unexpected part to our last medical exam, that was upsetting and sending us toward a flashback. Barely made it to the car. To test his theory, put the car in reverse & said we got to go directly home, so someone who can drive better come. They did. Next memory was walking into the house with the impending feeling of flashback coming.
When we tried to explain that we are just tired of all this. Having realized how much of our life is wrapped up or goes back to the abuse, we don't want to live like that. T said how confident he was in us, how we had had such a successful life. Went on saying things I'm sure were complimentary.
Perhaps our Gov taking a step back cuz of the Virus plays a part as the way we dealt was keeping busy. Alters had different interests they were involved in. Left home now with just us, new memories of abuse and no way to get away. No acceptable ways to get away.
Hope this is making some kind of sense.