Am I Correct In Thinking This Way?

[Snowblower]

So my folks have told me I should be on meds but I have no interest at all for doing so. Being raised on a varity of different medications and dealing with side effects some much worst then others I have found myself deeply anxious about starting anything new.

I also feel with the affirmation of being an addict that I would not be the one getting better but the medication would be masking the emotions and feelings delaying the o so pleasant, sobering up depression. So in short am I wrong in these beliefs or should I be open minded about it. Or does anybody have another take on it.

Also I am mandated by NYS to take depekote for seizures but is also used as a mood stabilizer, in order to maintain a drivers license.

I am not sure if my therapist fully agrees with me on this issue or not.

 

[Springer80]

Personally I've always been pretty anti meds,....in ptsd's case they mainly prescribe them for secondary symptoms and remind your parents that they aren't doctors. Not all things can be fixed with a pill and medical science isn't up to full speed on everything, if it was, this site wouldn't exist.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

I am anti medication for a number of reasons.

1. I have been on many, all of which have had horrific side effects that have worsened my situation time and time again. Also all of these have been prescribed for broader non-specific disorders that do affect but are not PTSD.

2. The purpose of medication such as anti-depressants mask the problem that is there rather than fix it. I have a real reason for feeling the way I do and that needs an appropriate method of treatment such as therapy, pretending the problem doesn't exist is what has allowed it to get so bad in the first place.

3. I have mostly been prescribed anti-depressants, which consistently make my anxiety enormously worse. I can just about cope with depression even on a severe scale, but anxiety is too much for me, plus in turn it makes me depressed. Catch 22?

4. I can't remember to take them, I have huge problems with dissociation and remembering to do anything on a regular basis is difficult, I've never been able to take medication as prescribed because I simply forget, even for example after an alarm has gone off, by the time I get from wherever I was to the kitchen, I can't remember why I was there.

5. A major trigger for me is drug use and/or being dependent on anything. I don't eat sugar or drink tea/coffee regularly and have never touched cigarettes, alcohol or drugs voluntarily. Occasionally I fast for a number of days to prove that I can and that I only eat food to survive not because I'm dependent on it emotionally. I allow that water is a necessity, sometimes I deliberately drink too much for a few days and then see if I suffer withdrawal. I know that's daft, but addiction and dependency are terrifying for me.

6. I'm scared of new things and whilst what I have now is in no way pleasant, I know how to deal with it and can just about cope. Medication, whilst meant to improve things leaves a big question mark hanging over everything and takes the little control and understanding I have of my emotions away. Not that I really have much of that.

I don't really know, all I do know is medication scares me shitless. If I could be prescribed something that I could take or not take with pretty immediate affect but would be completely with in my control and could chose to not take it for days, weeks or months on end. Then maybe for crisis moments I would allow it to be around. But I'm not really sure of that either.

 

[Resilientbibliophile]

Greetings,

This will be an odd answer for I fundamentally share the foundational reservations clearly articulated above who have travelled the same road as myself.

If I hadn't registered the experience of actually taking (or trying to contain within my body) contemporary psych. medications, and for my readings I would probably answer 'Yes - take them' with the assurance of a drug company rep. as well as a overworked psych. hospital resident who might pride themself on their honed capacity to diagnose and medicate in quick time. Such is consistent with the embrace of a biomedical model of what is happening, whereas for highly varied experience of people suffering in a hospital setting, understand that the people who prescribe such medications aren't simply reading drug co. literature before affording a person this or that med. Although hard to frame and hard to embrace, they've seen hundreds of people and have witnessed the alteration of life quality before their eyes of those who simply could not function even as these these unfortunates believed they could do it alone. Blunt, chemically-based intervention to uncomprehendingly hammer down obvious symptoms is the promise made, while for some (and much to our collective bewilderment - believe me, I know) such intervention is enough.

My personal 'No' list is substantial, and will match any recorded. Having about 40% of the energy one might otherwise display, only 'existing' in a physical sense, gas/constipation/bowel irregularities, weight gain, sexual dysfunction (like being desexed in full truth), the taste of food may alter, focus difficulties, etc. To me taking such to embrace the side effects head-on was antithethical to feeling better, for how could such a range of terrible experiences shake out in the end as enhanced life quality? The guilt felt for experiencing powerful side effects and not feeling tough enough is substantial, for pressure is applied to be a 'good patient' and to 'demonstrate commitment to becoming better'. First guilt - but then anger is felt for respect fades in specific relation to the unmedicated lives of others who would so casually insist that suffering is 'worth it' absent experience of the debilitating side effects suffered. In sum I have no strict answers. I so wish I did.


M.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think you need to do an honest assessment of your symptoms. If they are attributed to substance abuse, then perhaps it is best to not take them as it will mask symptoms. I've abused meds in the past so I know how much the withdrawal stinks. I never added in more meds just to feel better because I felt it would be like throwing fire at fire. Or however that saying goes, lol.

If they are PTSD symptoms and you're at a comfortable level of functioning, then perhaps it's best to just stick with therapy. When I say a comfortable level of functioning, I mean something you can work with----not something like relentless suicidal ideation that you are likely to act on or not sleeping for a month with nothing more than an hour of twilight sleep every few days (yes, that happened to me and I welcomed medication). These more severe symptoms should cause a serious look at just considering medication as an option---but, not as a fix, rather so you can get to a better place where therapy can work. (When I was at my worst, ie no sleep for a month, therapy wouldn't have helped at all. I needed medication.)

 

[Snowblower]

Thank you for the detailed responses.

The suicidal thoughts have stopped. I was in the process of acting out on it when Fortunately my fiancé walked in on me and It was then that decided I need to go back for therapy. This is 7 weeks ago today.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

These more severe symptoms should cause a serious look at just considering medication as an option---but, not as a fix, rather so you can get to a better place where therapy can work.

This is a really good point and I agree with SOL. Medication doesn't have to be long term and it can help you as a stepping stone in managed your symptoms until you can manage them yourself. Therapy would be really hard and pointless if you can't sleep or are so anxious you don't get any therapy done.

Medication is not for everyone but don't take if off the table completely because it may work for you. It's a personal choice, read about it and talk to your doctors. Ask questions. There are a lot of forum threads too- that's a good place to start.

Best wishes.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

Medication doesn't have to be long term and it can help you as a stepping stone in managed your symptoms until you can manage them yourself.

Most commonly prescribed medications take at least several weeks to start working. If you're in a crisis waiting a month isn't really helpful and the side effects are horrifically dangerous and could make your whole situation worse, plus they don't just go away when you stop taking the medication it can take months or in some cases years for them to go after being off of them.

I'd also like to point out that I've only ever gone on medication when there really was no other option for me.

Some examples that I have personally experienced include;

One of the medications I've been on for three to four weeks led to many suicide attempts and a lot of self harm, lasted for two months after I came off of the medication. Three in total have led to self harm.

All the medications I've been on have led to such an increased state of Anxiety.

All of the medications I've been on have taken away all the emotions, Ok, I couldn't feel extremely sad but I couldn't feel slightly happy either.

Another medication I have been on gave not only this horrific Anxiety but pretty extreme OCD as well, amongst other patterns, the entire time I was on it (8-10 months) I was counting in figure eights and became unable to function correctly - the anxiety has never left and whilst I have stopped counting so religiously, I can no longer be in the same room as a ticking clock and after 6 years I'm finally able to start listening to music again.

The same medication left me unable to have an orgasm five years after stopping.

One medication made me put on 6 stone in 2-3 months at which point I came off the medication as I was morbidly obese and distressed about it, the weight didn't just go away, I struggled year after year to loose it. The added weight made my depression worse, left me with little to no self confidence. And whatever the medication did to help me gain the weight, it messed with my metabolism so that losing weight was next to impossible.

One medication I was actually allergic to and came off of in under 48 hours, I was repeatedly violently sick and became incredibly dehydrated but couldn't keep any liquids down.

None of these side effects will help someone who can't already cope with life. The medications take a long time to work - that's no quick fix and they mostly mask the underlying problem. They made my suicidal thoughts go from being thoughts to being action. They left me with more reasons to be miserable than less and made coping harder. Maybe it's just the meds I've been on, but they don't seem even slightly positive or helpful.

 

[cat]

I too was scared about taking meds. As a child I saw the effects they had on my father (he had cptsd too ) & sure that would happen to me. However, my ptsd symptoms were preventing me fully engaging in therapy to the point my psychologist told me I was in effect self-harming & she couldnt continue to work with me as she was afraid of the consequences.

To try to explore why I felt so strongly about meds we did an EMDR session, it really helped me to talk about my father & what I had experienced with him, things I wasn't even aware of. We had a long discussion after & I found understanding my fathers problems helped me. Later that day I opened the packet of meds I'd had for 6mths & started taking them, six weeks later I felt so different. Okay, maybe they do mask our problems but only until we are able to manage our symptoms ourselves.

I am presently trying to cut down my dose, its tough at the moment but I'm determined to at least get them down to a maintenance level, for me that is a very important part of my recovery.

I think meds alone are no help at all but combined with therapy the can help you on the road to recovery.

 

[TeaLeaf]

Okay, maybe they do mask our problems but only until we are able to manage our symptoms ourselves.

.

Couldn't have said it better myself. Sometimes some of the symptoms need masking so you can make headway in therapy or progress in moving forward. I was against taking meds for a long time because they didn't work for me in high school and I didn't like the idea of masking emotions that needed to be processed to be healed.

About 10 years ago, I was going to therapy but was still at a place where either I was going to have to drop out of college or start taking meds. I started taking meds because I didn't want my past trauma to force me to drop out of school. I was able to participate in therapy more and I finally had a break from the overwhelming PTSD, depression and suicidal thoughts. I think lexapro saved my life, I had a very abusive childhood and unmedicated I eventually got too overwhelmed to deal with my reality.

I was on varying doses of lexapro for the past 10 years and now am down to 5mg in the process of slowly weaning off. Because they meds helped me participate in therapy more, I was able to learn how to do self care, something I was never taught as a child and didn't grasp the benefit of learning early on in therapy. I can now better regulate my emotions and will go for a walk, reach out to friends for help, take a bath or do yoga when things get overwhelming. 10 years ago I would binge eat, cut myself, act out sexually, isolate or use other unhealthy coping mechanisms. Meds were a big part in getting me to this healthy place.