Analogy: My Ptsd Feels Like...

[BloomInWinter]

It feels like I was food for narcissists my whole life...and now I've 'come through' the other side.

;P

 

[Elisacullen21]

It feels like I'm walking on a road, but there is no end.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Like a huge pile up on a motorway, the initial collision, then another car comes and hits the first 2 cars and another and another, and a truck over turns and lands on top of those cars and another and another. Till what is left of the initial car is nothing, crushed to oblivion. And I was the driver in that initial car, what is left of me is a ghost, shocked, scared, not knowing what to do. There is no way of living in this World, I'm just a ghost, observing, unable to communicate, wanting to be a part of it, but knowing she can't.

 

[Loloma]

My PTSD feels like I am dead, but still alive living in hell. The struggle to function daily is enormous and painful, physically and mentally. The past haunts me to the point where I am scared to remember the loved ones who died by suicide, shootings or illness. When I think of them the emotions overwhelm me with pain and extreme sadness.

My personal life is more than a train wreck, it's a nuclear explosion that has radiated for more than sixty years with ongoing devastation. It has affected my children, my relationships and my ability to reason, set boundaries and make mature decisions. A never ending time of confusion, denial and not facing reality. Where do I go from here, stumbling from one day to the next. Waking in pain every morning, living on pain killers to get me through the day. Waiting for life to start again but not knowing how to do it.

I am still that injured child, fighting to survive.

 

[timetorecover]

like a spell has been cast on me and I am not really here!

 

[KP the nut]

Like it is waiting to pounce - but hey guess what, I'm not going to let it.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Like a butterfly trapped in a spider's web. The more I struggle, the more those sticky silk strands tighten around my wings and tear their delicate structure apart, until they no longer exist.

I am frozen, unable to move, strangled by the threads of the web, that are wrapping round what is left of my body, tighter and tighter, so I can no longer breathe.

The spider is coming towards me with his fangs ready to inject me with the poison that will dissolve my insides so that spider can suck what life remains inside me away and I am left as a shell, a dry, crisp, hollow shell dreaming of being that beautiful butterfly that once fluttered freely amongst the flowers.

 

[revelry]

Hamster wheel.

My diagnosis is new, and surprising. I didn't come here for me originally.... but now that it is what it is...

I feel like I'm stuck in a hamster wheel.. everyday I try a little harder, but still stuck in the wheel.

<Edited by KP the Nut, basic grammar>

 

[BloomInWinter]

Like my abusers put a curse on my brain and it continues the abuse over and over....

 

[KP the nut]

My PTSD feels like it is insignificant.

 

[BloomInWinter]

...like my brain & body held my traumas safely tucked away until I was safe and mature enough to handle them.

 

[Halebale]

like I'm chained up in the backyard. I can move and function, but sometimes I think I'm free and try to run just to be jerked back, bruised and realize once more that I'm a prisoner of a broken mind.