And The Winner Of The Worst Parent Of The Year Goes To...

[sun seeker]

No, not remotely a bad parent. Of course you're sorry it happened, but you'll tell your son with compassion and let him have his feelings about it. It's modeling how to get through hard times, rather than shielding our children from them, that makes us good parents.

Having said that, it does remind me of when my nephew left me with his pet lizard and it died soon after I returned it to him. I felt awful. He did get over it though.

 

[intothelight]

@desiderata310

Yeah... There's not a lot to be proud of in my parenting. This is just the icing on the cake

Sometimes when something happens, even if it is out of our control, the feelings it dredges up are tied to events that haven't been worked through yet. When our children trust and depend on us and we feel as though somehow we failed, that can cause a lot of sorrow and guilt. The death of the pet was an accident, but the feelings may be related to unresolved pain and guilt.

It is hard with PTSD to figure out what is really ours to own, what belongs to someone else and what is just life. Sometimes it is just breaking it down into little pieces until you get to the core of the matter and then it can be sorted. In this case, cut yourself some slack as it wasn't anything you did and see if you can figure out where some of the emotion is coming from.

 

[scout86]

I don't know who will actually win "worst parent of the year". I would guess the "winner" will go in one of a couple of directions.

Scenario 1) Worst parent of the year deliberately kills the bird, plucks it and takes pictures of the featherless victim, feet in the air, on a platter, and emails the picture to the child with the caption "Guess Who?" This is followed by a picture of the feathers piled in the bottom of the otherwise empty cage with the caption "Need a Hint?"

Scenario 2) Worst parent of the year deliberately kills the bird. Then "parent" calls the "child" and proceeds to go on about how horrible this whole experience has been for "Parent" and how it is all the fault of ungrateful "Child". (We all know there are a gazillion ways to go on with this one!)

Worst parent of the year doesn't feel guilty and isn't worried about how her son is going to deal with the death of his beloved bird.

Stuff happens, sorry it happened on your watch! I think you have to work a lot harder at being heartless and self absorbed if you want to win "worst parent of the year". I hope your son handles this ok. Sorry for your mutual loss!