Anger/racing Thoughts/paranoia

[Pixi23]

So I live with my abusers.
My mother and father.
My anger at them gets so intense at times and I cannot stop rehashing what they did to me in the house that I live in now.

I cannot afford to move out and have RA so options are limited.

How do you deal with excessive overthinking and anger...I even get super paranoid my father will kill me or my mother...how can I stop the horrible thoughts ??

 

[NovaTex]

Can you find assisted living situations? Public assistance? I really hope you can find a way out of there!!

Is the abuse ongoing?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Do you know any CBT skills? I think that CBT may help you. What about meditation to calm you down? I turn to a type of mediation when my thoughts get out of control....well, when I remember to! I am so sorry you're still with your abusers. Are you in therapy now?

 

[Justmehere]

Breathe. I do lots and lots of breathing. one technique is 4 square breathing. Basically it's breathing in for 4 seconds, holding for 4 seconds, and breathing out 4 seconds. And repeating 4 times. An ER doc showed me how and says he does it himself. It signals the body that it can slow down.

Build a support system. Maybe there is a support group out there for others with rheumatoid arthritis. Apply and get on the wait lists for affordable/public housing and get therapeutic support.

Take it all one step at a time. It will get better in time. :hug:

 

[Mystery]

Hi Pixi23, when I'm really overwhelmed with stress and bad thoughts, I take really slow deep breaths until I feel my heart calming and focus on relaxing my muscles. You might have to get out of the house for a walk somewhere to do it. Now is where the road gets tough but it's not all bad. You have a shelter to begin a better life, it's not the ideal one but you can get out of there if you make a plan and stick to it every day.

I heard you saying that you don't trust therapists, that's really sad because therapy is so helpful to most people. Maybe you have just had a bad experience with one or two? If you can find a therapist then you will have made another great step in the right direction. Stay strong Pixi23, there is nothing wrong with you, you have just gone through a big life change, which is stressful in itself. When I was homeless, my parents didn't give a poop. I even had 4 little kids to look after.

I'm not minimizing your situation, I do really feel for you. I just want to offer you a view of what's going on for you that might make it sound a little more bearable. Is there anything you can think of today that you are grateful for? Sending you my best wishes and hang in there, this will pass.

 

[Pixi23]

The emotional abuse is ongoing. My "father" is cosigner of my car and I needed repairs so I asked him to pay the $190 for ONE MONTH so i left a note on the fridge..the next morning I outloud say "what should i have for breakfast .." and he threw the note at the me and said "eat this !"

if he paid the car i could probably move out.
My car still needs repairs and the financial stress along with my retail stress is very very stressful. I get triggered a lot at my job and have racing thoughts because people there are very pushy and rude.[DOUBLEPOST=1406242209,1406242095][/DOUBLEPOST]Last time i attempted to go to therapy, the lady looked at the clock a lot and they wouldnt let me see many other counselars for some reason. It was a very poor running place but i only went there because it was free because I am poor

 

[Mystery]

That's awful Pixi23, about your father I mean. It sounds to me that the therapist you were seeing wasn't very good for you. I understand the bit about being poor. The same thing happened to me once. The woman walked out of the session five times to attend to 'something important' while I was talking to her. I was poor and taking whatever free therapy I could get.

The thing, when I look back, that got me through some horrendous times in my life, like you are experiencing now, was this stubborn will to never give up. Even though I felt like it alot. Boy did I have some times, with four little kids in tow, that were just unbelievable when I think about it now. I just kept this fierce determination to keep going and never give up. I look back on all those times and am so thankful I kept going, because my life just kept getting better slowly but surely.

I actually allowed my car to be repossessed once, in 1995, because the payments were crippling me financially and that stress was breaking me down. It was the best thing I could do at the time and the extra money I had allowed me to live much better. I'm really glad to hear you are working even though it's tough. Is it possible to refinance your car so that the payments are lower?

 

[KwanYingirl]

Have you gone to your local Depertment of Health and Human Services? They would do an intake interview and let you know what services are available. State health insurance, low income housing, food stamps, etc. if you can't find your local office, call a hospital, they'll know. Even the police dept. would know.

 

[Pixi23]

Tried. i dont qualify for nethibg but food stamps. housing waiting list is over a year

 

[KwanYingirl]

Did you get your name added to the list?

 

[Pixi23]

Not yet. i guess ill sign on.

 

[NovaTex]

Is there anyway for you to get a cheaper car situation? If that is what's holding you back, then maybe reconfiguring that could fix the financials. It seems it would be healthy to move away from your a users.