"anniversary" unblock memory bullshit

[Deleted member 37474]

I have witnessed lots of people on here going through trauma anniversaries. I should have had mine on April 3-May 5, but it came and went like the blocked memory that it was.

So this week I have noticed an increase of symptoms. Flashbacks that feel like body memories and mostly a spike in anxiety. I was just thinking back to last year at this time. My first flashback. A true realization that "oh my God, I was raped!" And the multitude of memories that were pouring in. The humiliation and feelings of not being valued at work. The distortions that everyone hates me. The feelings that I am not any good at what I do. IBS. Wanting to be alone. My one friend helping me.

Does anyone else have a "PTSD" Anniversary? 1 year for me. I hope these feelings go away.

 

[Muted]

I have witnessed lots of people on here going through trauma anniversaries. I should have had mine on A...

Yep, I’m determined to ignore it this year though. It sucks, I used to enjoy this time of year.

 

[EveHarrington]

I suppose I do but symptoms are already spiked from the trauma anniversary such that I wouldn't notice.

 

[Freida]

Funny - I was just talking about this with my T today. I have 4 coming up. And nope, not related to the holidays or each other, just crap ass timing of unfortunate events. And because I'm comic relief for the universe the incidents start bad in November get worse in December and escalate until the grand finale in January.

This year I'm really aware of what they are, when they are due, and how they affect me because of all the therapy work over the last couple years. The only problem -- it doesn't make them any easier to handle. I'm already feeling myself getting more and more guarded, ancey, insomnia kicking up, blah blah. I know that just as soon as one lets go the next one starts in and there is a trigger behind every door.

It's an odd place to be. I know I'm still missing massive amounts of memory, but I have a better grasp of events than I've ever had so I would think it would be easier. But it's scaring the crap out of me.

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Hi text cat.... My anniversary is right now.. Halloween.... It's awful, painful, scary and shit.

But this year I've managed to go somewhere quite, peaceful.... I don't tend to watch TV... To many adverts for Halloween.... It sucks.... Anyway I hope you are getting there....

 

[hymnless]

I have two, which feels strange to me. One is Valentine’s Day (ugh) which is when I was raped- and the other was this past Friday, which is when I told my wife about my full trauma history that I had never shared before.

While I’ve only made it through one October 27th, I’ve made it through 4 Valentine’s Days and every year feels a little different. Last year wasn’t that bad but this year was pretty awful. I know there will never be a year that I don’t think about it but I’m hopeful that I will begin to have years where candy hearts and flowers and cards and romantic dinners feel less triggering.

 

[Kopykat]

@TexCat i have a few. I actually just hit the one year mark I was attacked at work and got a spine injury. I’ve been muddling through those feelings the past few days. It’s tough bc you want to prepare yourself for anniversaries/triggers but you don’t want to perseverate on them. Hang in there Texcat.