• We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
  • Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.

Anticipatory Anxiety - Frightened

  • Post starter Post starter Deleted member 34328
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
D

Deleted member 34328

I have an upcoming event in my home that will require me to face one of my biggest triggers. I'm very much afraid of this. I will be alone with strange men which in turn flashes me back to my biggest trauma. I'm having nightmares and flashbacks now. I know this is anticipating what "might happen" not what has, but my very active imagination is dreaming up all kinds of scenarios. I feel very vulnerable and emotional right now.

My husband is not a supporter for me at all and although he knows of my fears, is completely indifferent to it. My children are young and I don't want to involve them in this. I realize that this is an opportunity to face a situation head on and then be thankful to have moved through it - and I will, just knowing it's coming is enough to make me sick to my stomach.

Has anyone else dealt with this and how do you develop a plan to help you through it?
 
Could you have someone else there to support you while these men are at your house? Your husband, a friend perhaps? I talk about my sister a lot, but it's because I always have her there in situations where I need that extra support. I do hope you have someone that could be there with you during this. x
 
Unfortunately no. I have 1 amazing support person - but she's in Scotland at the moment and my therapist is on summer vacation. I'm pretty much on my own for this.
 
Check out the app Lifeline. I use it for any situations I feel nervous about - regardless if the fear is fitting or not. Basically, when the app is on, if your thumb comes off the app, you have 7-14 seconds to enter a code or police are silently dispatched to your gps location.

This has been proven to stop crimes in progress.

For me, having a simple safety plan like this can sometimes calm down my fears.

Another option, can a neighbor or friend come by or call to check on you? You don't have to explain the PTSD. Just to check on you so that maybe your brain can know you have some physical support and protection on your side? Even if it's not emotional support.

Do you absolutely have to be there for the work to be done? Is it an option to leave a key with the company and go someplace fun with the kiddos? I do this whenever maintence has to do work on my apartment. They can usually figure it out without my being there. This isn't quite the same situation but perhaps a possibility.
 
Big stressors like that (that I know in advance, and am not just winging it) I usually like to have emergency meds on hands, and exit plan, and before/after mapped & actioned. Like adding daily exercise from the moment my stress starts ramping up & arranging daycare so I can spend a couple hours at the gym the day of (as well as having things like clothes & food sorted in advance), and then after not having any events scheduled outside of falling face first into swimming pool and reading a book for a day or two.

It's half stress management, half working to associate new memories on top of old memories. Memories where X is happening, but I'm handling them competently & capably & the entire day/week is built to absorb the blow of it, so there either is no blow, or it's lessened to such a degree that that's what my brain starts to associate with the stressor; neutral or good times.

***

Triggers I handle differently, like if the men were men who had raped me in the past? That's an entirely different set of gears to shift into. There's SOME of the same sort of prep work, but I'm not working on normalizing being around them. Stepping into predator-mode is a very different thing, the opposite thing really, from training my brain NOT to be all DEFCON1 in similar situations with little to no risk.
 
Last edited:
I do have a basement as a hideout that has one removable window in it as well as a backyard. I will keep my cell phone charged all the time as well. My children will be home for the first two days, then school starts. Yes, extra meds are available. Maybe something like that will help. I don't think it's as drastic as having the police on an app. They are workmen renovating the main floor of the house. Does the app only activate if I touch it or is it on whenever the phone is on?

My husband would definitely not like for me to leave workers alone in the house. We are definitely not rich by any stretch of the imagination and don't really have any valuables to steal, but honestly, I wouldn't feel safe knowing I had given over a key to a man I don't know. Keys can be copied.
 
The app is only on when you go through several steps to turn it on, and only as long as you need it. Can be turned off at any time. I use it for walking through dark parking lots and the like. It's been around a few years and they set it up so that the police are not being accidentally summoned all the time.

But it seems like you have some good plans for safety without it. :)

@FridayJones has some great suggestions for handling the anxiety in the mix of this.

Another thought, maybe the company would have a female employee that could come, or they could assure you all the workers have been background checked and screened.
 
I will look up the app.

For me, it's immediate safety that would likely help the most. Verifying background checks would also be something I could do. These are things I can do ahead of time - like developing a plan. It will help a lot! So glad I posted.

Any suggestions are very welcome.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar posts

B
  • Locked
New member & very frightened!
Comments
10
I
  • Locked
Frightened of therapist...
2
Comments
13
M
  • Locked
I'm so frightened to ring my son! how can i be braver?
2 3
Comments
26
H
  • Locked
Frightened Of My Own Mind
Comments
6
Teasel
  • Locked
Frightened, Angry, Alone...
Comments
4

Donation drives

2026 Donation Goal

Goal
$1,800.00
Earned
$910.00
This donation drive ends in
0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds
  50.6%
Donate

Trending content

Featured content

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom