Anticipatory Anxiety - Frightened

[Deleted member 34328]

Found 2 different ones in Canada. Downloaded them. Thank you!!!!

 

[Seasounds]

Yes, I have through situations like this.

What I would do to prevent having a triggering situation:

1. Enlist a best friend/a true shooter to be with you.
2. Realize you HAVE CHOICE.
3. Stop the event. It is your house.
4. To thyself be true."

There is something symbolically about how you worded your situation: "required", and "in my house". In other words, you have the choice as to what happens in your body.

There was a time for me to take the risk to displeasing everyone but myself, and by saying ay, "No," My action reverberated through my mind; it broke 'a spell'/childhood trauma pattern.

Surely, I needed and got support through the fall-out/anger; and my action gloriously changed my life for the better.

You get to have boundaries and you get to be in charge. You get to be the boss of yourself.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

Yes, I have through situations like this.

What I would do to prevent having a triggering situation:
[LI...

Yes, boundaries are something I'm working on - difficult for me personally, but a work in progress. Inserting my voice and not sitting back as a doormat. Some of your suggestion are good to ponder. You've reminded me of some of things that I guess are easy to forget in the moment. I've learned a lot of coping tools and am good at using them.

Right now, when the stressor and upcoming event which I have no control over is too overwhelming, my mind goes into shut down mode. Anxiety and panic rush in. That's where I'm at, but this thread has been very helpful. I've read what's been suggested and it makes sense. I will take the advice seriously. In a sense, this thread has helped to ground me and I'll go back to it when things get to be too much.

I'm out of my zone. I have become subjective and it seems all my skills go out the window. You're right, I am using words that I shouldn't. They do set up a more helpless mindset. My therapist reminds me all the time that I'm stronger than I feel. I guess it's time to believe that and take some the helps that have been offered.

 

[Silver.]

:hug:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

This situation used to be one of my worst stressors and I have found if the workers are proffesional, they will do their jobs and not try to talk to you so much.

Have a plan of what you can occupy yourself with while they are there.

I took a Model Mugging self defense course which dealt with that particular stressor and it made a huge difference.

There is always the option to reschedul until someone can be with you while they are there working. I so understand how upsetting this one is and I hope that you will be able to take the best care of you as possible.

Bad workers spend their time trying to get into a conversation with you and not do their jobs. if this happens report them to the company and let the company deal with them. I am glad that you are keeping your phone with you.

Perhaps earbuds listening to music and writing in a journal while they are there. For the most part most of the workers who have come into my home, have stuck to their jobs and quickly leave in hopes to encourage you.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

Yes, @gizmo I have an mp3 player that I keep with me all the time. Downloaded both soothing quiet music as well as stronger beats. Really helps a lot depending on where I am. I will also have the laptops downstairs with me. So I can reach out if necessary.

I've had workers that engage me too much in conversation as well as come too close to my personal space. I really didn't think of firing them or reporting them. Maybe that is an option. I'll certainly keep it in mind.

Wow! You guys are great!

 

[Ronin]

Is there a way to familiarize yourself with the workers prior, so they are not Strange and dangerous men, but instead people you have information on and casual contact with, leaving you in a less panicked spot?

Does the company send some of the same people routinely, or can it be asked about who might come?

Lot of strength, in every case.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@stp2012 I know that all of us with PTSD have situations that can cause us panic, cause us to trigger, or cause anxiety. We all have them..... If the workers that are coming are from a good company that has been checked out by you and hubby then I will say this..... Normally people that come into your home to do a job, are there to do their job. It's their lively hood, their paycheck. I think everything will be fine, and you will be ok too...

You have some good advice from everyone here, take what you need and leave what you don't.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

Is there a way to familiarize yourself with the workers prior, so they are not Strange and dangerous men,...

I think it should be the same team. I don't know. My husband has met with the man who would be in charge. Maybe he could ask.

 

[Deleted member 34328]

An update: got surprised when my husband let me know that the man who initially came to evaluate the work to be done was going to come and go over some changes we've made today. Last time, I stayed well out of the way and let my husband handle the whole thing. - I panicked. It was going to be just me and the kids - too much like the nightmares I have.

With some of the suggestions here, I managed to put together a plan this morning and got through the visit. I told him straight out that I'm uncomfortable with men I don't know coming into my house. He seemed to get that. I told him that probably a lot of women feel like that these days. He asked if I was uncomfortable with him today. I honestly said yes. Didn't apologize for it either.

He did take me by surprise at the time he showed up, so I didn't have time to put things into place that I had planned, but intentionally led him through the rooms in an order where I could be in control as best as possible. Didn't always work but enough that I didn't fall apart with him here. Did get to where I could unlock and slide open the patio doors, got the kids into a safe place... picked up my cell phone - that type of thing.

I asked some questions for my information. ex. how many men at a time, same ones, will I know ahead of time... that type of thing.

Have to work on lowering anxiety now - not easy with the kids around, but necessary to manage through the day. I'll get to the "yay me". Just not yet.

 

[Silver.]

You handled it really well!
Your questions and concerns to him were very reasonable ones. I am sure that they deal with woman who are uncomfortable having workers around quite a bit. (I don't think you have to have PTSD to not want to be alone with a bunch of men eh?). It was so good that you had a routine in place, for putting you and your children into a safe spot while he was there. Think of it as a good run through for when they do show up.
Do some deep breathing if you need to, to work through the anxiety, take care of you for a bit, and know that you did great today, you should be proud of yourself! x

 

[Deleted member 34328]

You handled it really well!
Your questions and concerns to him were very reasonable ones. I am sure tha...

Thank you @Silver.