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Anxiety about visiting my family. how to get over this?

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Klove

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Hello I'll try keep this short thanks in advance for any help I truly appreciate it.

I am having seriously bad anxiety about going to visit family. My mother in law was exceptionally mean to me back in February my husband was away he's in the military and we had limited communication. I know he would of stood up for me if he was there and he wanted to have my back by uninviting her to a ceremony when he got home but I wouldn't let this happen just thinking about the drama that would cause makes me cry.

I was staying with his mother because we are moving over seas and I didn't want to sign a new lease to break it. She was completely awful to me while I lived at her house constany cleaning, watching there dogs, driving kids to school, cooking dinners and more. I was basically a live in maid.

She was throwing a party of some sort and I advised her I was busy and needed to finish a class for college. A day prior I had helped my father in law pack up an office and she completely exploded saying that I could help him all day but not help her ever. This totally put me in hysterics and guess what? My husband got to phone home that day first time in a month. So when he talked to me I could not breath I was seconds from a panic attack.

I ended up moving out of her house the next day as I could not deal with her shitty comments and explosive out bursts as this wasn't the first outburst but the first one directed towards me.

Then the ceremony happened and she was upset my husband and I wanted to have a dinner to ourselves it was a weekend trip. It was the first time in months we where getting to spend time together. She texted me the night before trying to manipulate me to give up my dinner and then tried to guilt my husband as well. We should of just not let her come.

My parents and I have never really been on good terms. My mom is a compulsive liar and makes up things about my husband like he isn't taking care of me. I think I put an end to this the last time I saw her. But I can't help but feel anxious that we are visiting I honestly do not want too.

It's the the point of I think about it I have panic attacks, can't sleep, cry and am so depressed. I'm trying to forgive what happened back in February but it's causing more damage. I'm really trying to move on but I can't help but have to talk myself up with every visit. She knows I'm sensitive and trys to manipulate me off of that. We are about a month out and I'm already prepping myself for this trip. Does anyone have any advice on how I can shake this anxiety? Or at least how I can be okay when I'm out there?
 
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We are moving overseas and won't be back for 3 years or more. My husband finds it important to see everyone. Which I can understand.
 
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