I try to repeat at least one word that they said in the previous statement...
"How are your kids?"
"Oh, about the same as usual. We've been running around to soccer matches all spring, that's been exhausting."
"I imagine that would be exhausting! [agreement] How often are the practices and matches?" [further interest]
"Oh, practice three times a week and matches on Saturdays and no end in sight!"
"Wow, practice three times a week! What a devoted mother you are! [compliment and laughing]"
It's about at this stage I try to make my "escape" if I don't know the person well. You will have to come up with your own pre-planned escape routes, lol, usually you can say you need to get something from another room, use the rest room, find someone, help in the kitchen, check on the kids....whatever.
It becomes more difficult the longer you engage a person, but it is a lot like improv. The only rule to improv is "yes, and..."
So be in constant agreement (but don't say you like things you do not, just ask them to talk about that stuff, claim ignorance and people love to educate you). I like to debate with people I trust, but I find that most people aren't interested in discussing my interests because they don't share them. I guess that's okay.
The small talk is more about making the other person feel good, because we like people who make us feel good about ourselves. And when we make people happy, we often feel good about ourselves. Ironically, I have to work pretty hard to be happy.
Hope this helps. It's the only thing I have figured out :)
