Anxiety Re: Too Much Stimulation

[Bill Dickerson]

I guess it's too much stimulation. I was on the phone trying to get through to the Therapist since I think they fouled up the appointments again. At the same time my son was texting me to check on his checking account. I was trying to log in to his account.

Well I fouled up the log in and got locked out. The Therapist office has a new phone system and they give a huge list of extensions. (hate the automated stuff) They must have a time limit since it sounds like the FedEx guy it's so fast. Even after I finally determine the extension to a human the supposedly human extension wants me to leave a message.

By this time I'm getting confused and anxious. That low "oh crap" feeling in the bottom of my stomach.

Problem is it isn't going away. I went out in the yard and did some stuff. Went to Home Depot. Watched a TV show. Now I'm feeling like I have too many things to do and not enough time. I guess it's a can't run fast enough feeling. Like Lucy at the Chocolate factory except something bad is going to happen if I can't keep up.

I guess my glass is a little too full. I got a Disability Reassessment form in the mail. From what I understand it's routine but I sure hate that that stuff. My Aunt died this weekend and had the funeral to go to Sunday.

It's frustrating such trivial things stress me out. Before I was got sick the bad and dangerous stuff I could do standing on my head. It does worry me the big panic attack I had started like this. It was that "oh crap" feeling in my stomach that wouldn't go away. I could feel the stress and breathe through it but it just kept coming back over and over again. Finally at the end of the day boom Panic attack that I can't stop.

If I didn't feel so shaky the whole thing would be funny.

 

[Laurie McLaughlin]

Hey Bill -

I wonder if you tried inviting your panic attack to tea -

Instead of being afraid of the monster in the closet what about saying "Hello Monster. I see you there. Why don't you sit down and we can have a nice chat. You know, you don't have to attack me if you don't want to...."

Kind of dismantle the panic and see it for what it is before it grows. Maybe have the courage to laugh at it.

Dunno - just an idea.

Sending you heaps of peace - Laurie

 

[Bill Dickerson]

I have been able to dismantle them in the past except for the really bad one. The problem is it lingers and doesn't go away. I can be doing something else and I feel the adrenaline and the fight or flight the rushing thoughts. I can acknowledge the problem start to breathe again and bring myself down.

That can go on all day. Most of the time it doesn't.

I have adjusted my thinking with the ghosts so hopefully if they do reappear I can just invite them for a chat and not panic.

I'm hoping I can avoid any triggers that will make it so bad that I can't dismantle it. It's the constant fear that's really a problem. I'm not sure if it's the anxiety it self or the fear that I won't be able to work through the next one.

I guess it's the FDR quote "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself".

I'm tired and hopefully I can sleep and let my brain reset.

 

[Laurie McLaughlin]

Hi there -

Sounds like you are getting better. That is great

Also sounds like there are two things happening - there are the PTSD episodes and then there is the underlying fear or anxiety. Is that right?

I never actually thought of that before but that is the way it is for me too. There are the actual episodes and then there is just this nagging anxiety sometimes.

I know what you mean though - even though I am getting the episodes less and less sometimes one still just sneaks up on me and I have to ride it like a rollercoaster till it is done. I have found that knowing what the triggers are make me feel better but because then I can recognize the trigger after the incident but it does not help with the actual episode.

I am going to have to pay attention to the anxiety part more now and see what I can do to work with letting go of that in myself.

Hope you are having pleasant dreams

Namaste - Laurie

 

[Bill Dickerson]

PTSD is fear and anxiety. It's the survival instinct gone a little haywire. Fight or flight is a deep, deep basic function of the brain. Like the fear of heights it's with us when we are born. I think one book called the reptile brain.

It's the reason it's so powerful and the higher brain functions don't affect it or correct it.

You can never let it go... only get better and it does get better. It's a struggle but it's the struggle that is important.

 

[The Albatross]

I really get you Bill on the "too much stimulation". I still get that way from time to time. I try to look at those situations now as "opportunities to use management tools or skills" and just muddle on through as best as I can muster. After an overstimulating event/situation/person... I try to create a gap in my schedule for some quiet/calm/peaceful time - disengaging, before I get on with the "next" thing.

Learning to create those little gaps and not pick up a big stick mental/emotionally and beat the heck out of myself with it has given me some levity.

Adrenaline rushes, hate 'em.