Anybody else worried about bonfire night?

[Eliza]

I have been invited to a bonfire party with some family friends, and I was really looking forward to it. We go every year, and it is always a lovely evening.

I was excited about seeing the fireworks.

But after seeing my friend post a picture of the fireworks he's bought for the evening - I had a sudden realisation that fireworks go bang. Loudly.

And the last big bang I heard was gunshot. And I am worried that the fireworks will cause flashbacks and send me into a panic attack.

I don't want to not go, because it's a big get together with lots of people that I don't get to see very often.

But I also don't want to go and have a panic attack and be a party pooper.

Does anybody have any advice?

 

[Deleted member 37474]

Noise canceling headphones may deaden the intensity of the sound, but the unpredictable nature of fireworks certainly might be a challenge.

Do your friends and family know about your ptsd? They may be a good support to have. Do you take medications? If not you could take benedryl to calm your adrenaline.

 

[EveHarrington]

I'd opt out.

I hate to be a party pooper, but I'm upfront with people about not wanting to see fireworks. The 4th of July (US independence day, with fireworks for at least a week in various places around the area) is one holiday I send people on their way to have fun without me. Being startled 50,000 times in half an hour is NOT my idea of fun given that ONE bad startle is enough to ruin my day.

Noise cancelling headphones aren't an option. I can FEEL the fireworks. Sounds odd, but yes, I can feel the sound waves in my body. I'll brave other get togethers, but not ones that can send me into a bad state for an extended period of time.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Those types of celebrations tend to always have a few overly rambunctious participants who randomly set shit off within a very close proximity long before the actual show starts. I can't stand to be in those spaces, and do not ever force myself to do so. My well-being trumps social time every time. I just let folks know my nervous system simply can't handle it based on my life experiences, but I'd be glad to join them in much quieter spaces any time we get a chance.

 

[Eliza]

Thanks guys. I'm just praying it gets rained off so I can go round the house and socialise without the fireworks!

I'm thinking about maybe going just for drinks and then leaving early. Or staying in the house for most of the evening and watching the fireworks out of the window - I'm sure most of the socialising will happen inside anyway.

My family and friends are aware of the trauma, but not the profound effect it is having on me. It's mostly sirens that set me off as that's what I associate most with the memory... but then again, I haven't heard any loud bangs since, so I don't know how that will affect me yet.

I know the more I worry about it and build it up in my mind, the bigger effect it will have, and I'm trying to use CBT techniques to stop me from panicking. But it doesn't seem to be working at the moment!!