Anyone Else Have Ostriches In Their Family?

[Heather]

I wish I could distance myself from my mother RIGHT NOW but we have to live with her for the next few months.

Where's the serenity prayer when you need it?!

 

[Heather]

A miracle of sorts happened....my mother actually took her head out of the sand (or her butt) and apologized to me today. For something that she said years ago that NO mother should ever say to a child.

In the past she made excuses for her mean and insulting comment but TODAY she apologized.

 

[Alimaria]

My mother is definitely an ostrich. She ignored my father abusing and molesting me and my sisters for 16 years. She just stayed at work and pretended like everything was ok. What are children supposed to do then? I justified her complacency by convincing myself that she ultimately "saved" us. As an adult, I see her head-in-the-sand BS and it ignites a rage in me because it is forcing me to acknowledge that she should have done more to protect me. She has thrown money at me and my sisters for years and I now understand that is her attempt to make up for her lack of action years ago. Very recently, after 20 years of allegations, she also "admitted" that she molested my sister with my father. I have been sick ever since. I don't know what to do except cut her off indefinitely.

 

[Heather]

((((((@Alimaria)))) So sorry for what you went through. Just reading about what your mother did makes me sick too.

I hope you find healing and peace.

 

[Alimaria]

((((((@Alimaria)))) So sorry for what you went through. Just reading about what you...

Thank you.

 

[Powder]

I agree that cutting ties with those who excuse abusive behavior is healthy because:

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." Edmund Burke

That sums up my dislike of those who persist in denial and attacking me for NOT being in denial.

I realize that most likely the denial isn't fully voluntary. There could very well be traumatic amnesia there, but that is not my problem nor should it be taken on by me as my problem.

As my C said, "I didn't cause it, I can't fix it, Not my problem."

 

[Deleted member 34424]

Oh yeah, on both sides. I think it's pretty common among people, and therefore families.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

Ostriches? No. Mine is full of jackasses.

 

[Heather]

That's funny... Mine incorporate both those traits.

 

[cat-lady]

That's funny... Mine incorporate both those traits.

Same here!

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I guess a lot of people simply cannot handle working through something, so they rather just bury it.

Ostriches seem to be incredibly common, huh...

 

[BradyLady]

Oh goodness. Here an ostrich, there an ostrich, everywhere an ostrich, ostrich, Old McDonald had a funny farm.

It's easier to convince themselves I'm crazy and have a bad memory than to admit they either abused me or let me be abused on their watch.