Anyone Else Have Ostriches In Their Family?

[Heather]

@BradyLady ...I like that... made me smile.... sense of humor is key.

Read this to my mom, she's my main ostrich.... she laughed.... not sure if that's a good thing or not.

 

[katz]

I've always described my family as "having an elephant in the room". Everyone knows it's there--yet, no one will acknowledge it. I know that everyone still has their head in the sand. When I accused "him", everyone blew up at me and blamed me for destroying the family. Now, when ever I'm with any of them, I just act "normal". They all just figure that I was wrong and now I believe it myself. I know that someday, "he" will pass away and then I won't care what anyone thinks.

I highly doubt that there will even be a "family" once both the folks are gone. How sad. I had always believed that some day we could all be "fixed" and be a "normal family". Even if I had to take all the blame for how bad the family was and what happened. (Sometimes I still do blame myself) It makes me sad. Yet, I can't seem to give up hope that some day, someone in the family will "come over to my side" -- and believe me.

 

[Bubblegirl]

My brother and sister have both told me WE ARE THE DENIAL FAMILY. STOP MESSING WITH THE STATUS QUO.
I read an excerpt from a book the other day about incest in families and the characteristics of the families (my 10-year abuser was my mother's brother):

• Collective denial and shared secrets about a multitude of problems, not just the incest. These include problems such as alcoholism and other addictions, major illnesses, family illegitimacies, previous marriages, etc.

• Duplicity and deceit between family members. The family goes to great lengths to protect itself and develops protective myths as defense mechanisms.

• Social isolation, which is generally enforced by the parents.

(Source: Healing the Incest Wound, p43)

The elephant in the room is crushing me...but I'm the only one who will admit it's even there.
Thank you guys for sharing, reading your stuff always helps me so much.

 

[katz]

My brother and sister have both told me WE ARE THE DENIAL FAMILY. STOP MESSING WITH THE STATUS QUO....

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. It's good to know that some one else believes me and understands.

One time I heard my mom talking to a new boyfriend of mine. She was telling him about all the "imaginary" ideas and thoughts that I had always had. She was explaining to him that it was the reason I was on all those medicines.(We were both in our lower 40's !!)

Thank goodness--he believed me!! I actually heard him telling her that he had been thru a lot himself and didn't think that I could make up this kind of thing. He was one of first and friends that believed me. I have one other girlfriend who did also.

Sadly, he died 7 years later. We had been a couple for almost 10 years. :(

I still miss him.