Anyone Have Troubles With Cognition?

[destroyed_art]

I notice when I am upset or what someone is saying to me is hurtful or something I dont want to hear I dont understand what they are saying. I mis interpret things they say - take them a wrong way etc. I do this more with men that I know of - but do it with family as well. Is cognition just a problem with ptsd? Its getting worse for me and it seems almost every time I talk to a man, me being female, it dont really work out. The guy gets all pissed off and feels like I dont listen to him. I ask questions after what is said and try to confirm what I hear. The man gets even madder. I understand it on the surface but how can I deal with this better? My memory is shot and its like my comprehension is too. I hope I am explaining this well.

I know when I am upset its not good to talk.. but people dont do that. They get it out and then dont want to talk about it again. But I need to... and that bothers them too.

Thanks for any input.

 

[Aqib]

Yep, it's PTSD alright. Any efforts to avoid or numb yourself towards stressors that remind you of the trauma, is part of it.

I know what it's like. My parents still argue regularly. I'm older now, so I'm able to keep my thoughts in check, keep my mind clear, empty it out, try to relax. But my heart (or that physiological region) feels a heavy feeling and I just sink. It suddenly feels like there are walls closing in on me. f*ck, it's something I still haven't been able to work through although I've definitely improved.

Your first instinct is to run but that's wrong. About what you said about the "man getting angrier," maybe it isn't you. Is it EVERY single man you've talked to? How many men have you talked to? Perhaps he is the problem. Just because a couple got angry with you, doesn't mean every single one will.

About the memory, there have been links found between hippocampus (memory) damage and PTSD. My memory is shit, frankly.

Listen, everyone needs someone to go to. Every man, every woman needs to let it out sometimes. Don't undermine that fact, and don't forget it. If everyone wants to rant but they don't care when it comes to you - then sweetheart you're hanging around the wrong people. If you live with them or have to interact with them, don't talk too much with them because they might have problems of their own. If you aren't seeing a therapist, then that is the absolutely perfect way to get all your thoughts out there.

This is a great forum and you'll find lots of support here. About the cognition, you just need to keep trying. My therapist has given me some suggestions. When you talk to someone and your thoughts start biting away at you, let them. Hear what they have to say. Then calmly in your most soothing voice, tell them it's going to be okay. Tell them that you have control of the situation. If you repeatedly do that in conversations, if you practice it when you're alone and your thoughts are flowing rapidly, I promise you that the intrusive thoughts will be less aggressive. This is coming from experience, not some introductory psychology course.

But if the people that you are talking to are saying hurtful things, leave the room. Hell, leave the goddamn area. Because no one has the right to talk to you that way, you don't deserve that.

 

[Dani]

You've got to talk. To the right people. Some of them are here, it helps. The more you release the less you feel like exploding. (only my opinion). I live my life, NO lying, if I forget I forget. If I forget again, I write it down. Expressing yourself is the most important thing you can do to heal. Even if it hurts and you want to crawl into that "designated closet freak out space." Yes, I have PTSD, ADHD, and I'm super Dyslexic and a bit of a control freak more than I intend. But if people around me can't deal, they are not worthy to be around me. Tell yourself, " You Are Worthy", " You Deserve The Best. " Don't let anyone take who you are away from you.

Destroyed_Art it will Soooo get better.

 

[Schiaparel]

Sounds familiar.

I was tested by a neuropsychologist and he said both my memory and concentration are impaired, and they have not always been that way. Though it was already more than a decade ago when I was first diagnosed with PTSD. Now though, its gotten to the point where I have been diagnosed with C-PTSD, Dissociative disorder, Psychotic Depression and Major Anxiety disorder as well. Depressing, eh?

Things were supposed to get better this spring but started getting worse as proper therapy was not available. Now, new doc, new therapists, maybe a new chance? But as for the memory and concentration...well, I am supposed to be writing a Phd thesis right now. Not exactly doable when you have trouble remembering or understanding sometimes what was just said to you!

Yeah, many people think I am dumb or rude when I just stare at them but its in fact just that what they said just did not get through to me. Or they ask something, and before I even get around answering I forget what was asked. But Dani, you put it so well, if people around can't deal, they are not worthy to be around me. But it sucks, and so many times I keep having to tell myself ''you are not stupid, you are not rude, you can not help this any more than you are doing right now''. And still, it hurts.

 

[Joanne22]

I understand. I'm new to this site, not sure how everything works yet.

For me, the trauma started when I was born. As children our brain is capable of regressing an event because we're not ready or capable of dealing with the trauma yet. Then with time when we become adults, we're more in control, the trauma comes back as a flashback and you relive the trauma you had forgotten about. As if it just happened yesterday.

In the last 5 years I've relived events from my childhood I never knew happened. It's really hard. I've recently noticed that I still regress events that happen to me today as a fully functioning adult. I suddenly remember something someone said to me a few months ago that was hurtful and my mind blanked it off as it happened.

People must think I'm stupid or something when it happens, although I'm not aware that I'm doing it until much later. I think just being aware that we do this is the first step. At least awareness brings attention to our problem so we can focus on fixing it.

 

[Mercy]

My poor family. I have a sieve brain - not much short term memory. Heck, I even bought the earrings which said on one "In one ear" and on the second earring "Out the other".

Seriously My PTSD and DID make it impossible for me to be continuously present. I can change in a milisecond and not even know it.I will say I was never in a store or restaurant and be wrong all the time. It is very disorienting and anxiety rise to near panic level.