Anyone Take Time Off Therapy?

[SimplyComplex]

My therapist stopped taking my insurance (starting today) so it went from $30 an appointment to $750 deductible ($190 per session x4 sessions) and then $70 a session. She was willing to make all sorts of deals but I just dont feel comfortable at all with them. Its I guess related to growing up so poor and always be given deals but always feeling like I owed something back. I don't want to feel that anymore.

I managed to save the money to pay for the deductible from extra holiday work but then it went quickly to unexpected car repairs. Also, this is my slowest month for work and I just wont have extra money coming in, and my husband's paycheck is much less due to his pay structure.

So I have decided to take a month or two off therapy. I know my therapist isn't going to be happy. She didn't even like my idea of going to every other week until I paid off my deductible. But I have been in therapy for 19 months! I feel like I can manage alright.

But I am wondering who has taken a break in therapy? Has it been a big mistake? Did it work out? And what is the *big deal*? Seems like if I am stable, it will be ok.

Then again, it could have something to do with the fact that I let her see me at my most vulnerable at our last session and I am finding alot of conflicting feelings there...still I don't see where then money would come from

 

[milbert]

If going to therapy right now will add financial stress to your life, and you are stable without therapy, then it sounds like it may not be worth it right now. Then again, it sounds like you are at an important moment in therapy right now with feelings of vulnerability, so it could be a worthwhile 'investment' to stay in therapy right now if you think it might help you avoid future sessions.

I've taken time off therapy before to apply what I've learned and focus on self-help (mindfulness, workbooks, etc.). I haven't found taking time off to be a big mistake. I think that therapists make a big deal about taking a break because they worry that you won't go back to therapy, and they don't want you to feel as if they are abandoning you. At the end of the day, though, only you can decide what's best for you. Good luck.

 

[SimplyComplex]

Its done...I didn't realize I would feel as sad as I do.

 

[SimplyComplex]

Ok so it is pretty obvious that I will have to switch therapists...because I cant afford this one. And I am so sad. Like someone died sort of sad. And angry. I know that my t has to live, pay for her office, etc. But...it took more work then I could ever imagine to trust her to tell her my stuff. And now I can't afford her. And I am so sad. And I do feel cheated.

More sad even, I am on my insurance website searching for a new therapist. It all says it was updated TODAY, and I am googling, searching, thinking, making a list, trying to think forward instead of pouting...and I see my t still listed and my husband's t also still listed. THATS FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC! Thanks insurance company. Now I have no idea who is really going to take my insurance. Thanks for waisting 2 hours of my time. Thanks! UP-FREAKING-DATE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[a3a2]

Sorry you are going through this, SimplyComplex. I have taken breaks for various reasons...sometimes financial.....sometimes I just felt ready for a break. The times when I was ready to take a break, I was fine. But when I took the break for financial reasons, I was a mess. Yes, I felt that terrible ache. As others have told me, the t takes on the role of a parent in therapy. You end up feeling neglected and abandoned....even if it was you who left.

SimplyComplex, I think no matter what you choose, you are going to be okay. You are a survivor. But here is a thought to ease the transition....what if you worked out a temporary deal with her until you can get a new t? You have built a relationship with her. And when people build a relationship, they want to help each other. Wouldn't you want to help her if she needed it? It is okay to get help from someone who cares about you. Difficult, perhaps.....but whoever says life is easy is trying to sell you something.

 

[ronin47]

It's horribly unfair, these kinds of things. Even if she has a legitimate reason it's okay for you to be upset about your t not taking your insurance. Even though you are feeling angry and sad about the whole thing, you also sound at least fairly confident in the progress you've made and your ability to cope, which is great! I've changed Ts multiple times and taken time off as well for similar reasons, financial and what not. The thing was whenever I stopped going to therapy, even without the insurance my family could have made it work, I just wasn't that motivated. The t was not so good that I felt incentive to even try to circumvent financial obstacles. I firmly believe continuity should be strived for, but in that respect I don't know if it would have mattered if I'd stuck with it or not. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways. As hard as it may be to believe right now, keep your mind open to the possibility that the next t you see might be even better than this last one.

 

[SimplyComplex]

I talked to her today (after my husband disclosed that we do have the money to pay ... ugh. He just didn't want to I guess). T is totally about making deals and said that she is doing so with all her clients who she is no longer taking their insurance. I won't make deals. But she said if it comes up again, not to just quit, but to work it out with her. That she is more then happy to work with me.

I made a sort of half-assed excuse about why I won't make a deal...my husband is annoyed I think. But...it is complicated. Growing up on welfare, foodstamps, toys for tots, food bank, medicaid, begging for food from neighbors, having strangers bring me toys or clothes, washing my clothes in bath tubs, living in my car, being homeless, sleeping on floors...

I just don't ever want a deal again. If I can't pay for it, I don't want it.

 

[Heather]

Are you sure you are not cutting off your nose to spite your face? I understand you not feeling like you're getting a hand out but if you want to see your therapist and she's willing to work with you.....

Maybe you should reconsider, just a thought.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Why make things more difficult?!?

I think the money excuse is just that... An EXCUSE to not go to therapy!

Instead of working through your feelings of being "less than" if you don't have the money, you refuse services which people legitimately try to give you at a deal!

FYI, the amount therapists get from insurance companies is LESS than the self pay rate quite often. Therapists often give discounts to those who pay OOP simply because insurance is a PAIN that they don't have to deal with.

 

[missing_the _sunshine]

I think that your T wants to do a deal because she feels that you require ongoing treatment. If she didnt feel this way then she wouldnt offer. I don't know your T obviously but am assuming that you have both done a large amount of hard work together in order to take the necessary steps in treatment. If you quit now it is not only your hard work but also her's that will be suffering.

I totally understand the humiliation of financial struggles - have been there and still am there. But I think that this is one area where humiliation should be put aside when considering what is best for you.

Don't know whether any of what I have just written makes any sense but I thought I would write it anyway. Good luck - I am sure that you will make the correct decision when considering what is best for you.

 

[SimplyComplex]

You guys are most likely right. But luckily we found the money to pay...we mentioned money issues as something to work on more in the future (I had anxiety all week cause I forgot to bring her money for my co-pay...I ended up mailing it to her). I actually would go to a t who took my insurance though. I know I need therapy. The idea of a deal, esp with someone in this situation is full on terrifying.