Are Emotional Flashbacks Gender Specific?

[Hopp]

Blue-Ocean that is something I read abut, but it seems to be very difficult.

 

[BlueOcean]

Hopp, do you mean difficult to let the emotions flow?

 

[Hopp]

Yes, that´s what I mean (difficult with English sometimes...)

 

[Quin79]

That it is Hopp.

I've only recently come to a point where i can let it flow all the way through without blocking it off. (Just over 2months now, but that does include 2 weeks of sliding back into dissociation).

In the beginning, and even still now sometimes, it can take a lot to just stay there in the moment with the emotion and move with it.

 

[Hopp]

This is not my thread so maybe I can ask you to write a PM to me about this? Or in my own trauma-diary... I would really like to know how to do this.

 

[RussH]

@RussH, That is incredible!:) I wish I could feel that for myself too... My head almost gets it, but not my heart. :oops:

hoppe, I promise, you keep working on it, and your heart will get it. You were the victim and not the perpetrator.

 

[Justpassintime]

That's all I have now, thank GOD. I used to have the visuals and audio flashbacks, I found them to be worse. I doubt they are gender specific, but I think they may be age specific as you grow older you just don't have the same energy level to squash all that stuff down.

 

[BlueOcean]

Hopp, What has made a huge difference for me is doing EMDR. It rewires the brain correctly so that emotions get processed normally. Here's a ABC news report on it

 

[EverOnly358]

Do flashbacks get worse with the passage of time? I really don't have a firm handle on all the nuiances of flashbacks, so any information will help. Thanks again all of you for the answers.

I think the worst thing you can do is push them away in order to make them stop. As hard as it is, try to sit with what you're feeling... just recognize that you're feeling awful, but these are feelings from your past, just acknowledge them. Then, maybe try writing. It probably won't make any sense, since it can be really hard to express these feelings from out of nowhere, but sometimes you gain insights anyways. And it's a way to get the pain out as well.

About the female aspect... I've noticed in a lot of psych talk (books/online), "she" is used often instead of just "he" when giving examples. Which, y'know, is maybe nice that "she" is getting more play *or* might be incredibly rude that they're maybe saying women have more emotional/psychological problems? (Perhaps I'm the only one that over-thinks these things. If so, just ignore these comments.) But it is true men do experience emotion flashbacks, too.

In this context: Oh to be abnormal:)

This totally cracked me up! :laugh: In this context, I totally wanna be abnormal, too. ;)

But, if I'm honest, this is better than how I was before, which can sound odd at first. But I lived for almost 20 years being totally dissociated and now I can feel. Actual emotions!

Me, too! I didn't feel any of my real emotions. I was so wrapped up in being busy and taking care of everyone else that I was completely disconnected from myself. It's been very hard to start feeling my emotions. The worst is when I can't even figure out what I'm feeling or why.

I was the vicitim, and I will no longer feel guilty for what I did not do. I also realize that some of my pain is because I did nothing to stop it. Well I recognize I could not do anything, and I have decided to forgive myself for not stopping it.

Wow! That's an incredibly healthy perspective. I wish I could make myself believe the same thing. I mean, like @WillyKat said, intellectually I might be able to wrap my head around that, but emotionally is a whole other story. Like dealing with emotions, it's just practice, practice, practice, I think. Humans are strange... they can get used to almost anything. Emotional flashbacks can be horrible and scary and overwhelming, but when you just think of them in the context of feelings that just need to be heard so they can fade away, it's a tiny bit easier to deal with it all.

I hope this was a little bit helpful,
D123

 

[RussH]

D123 thank you for your comments they are helpful.

I am glad you enjoyed my sense of humor regarding abnormal.

I certainly hope you can get to the place where you can truly realize you are not at fault for what happened to you, and you are a victim. I think it will help you heal.

 

[RussH]

This is not my thread so maybe I can ask you to write a PM to me about this? Or in my own trauma-diary... I would really like to know how to do this.

Hopp, if hijacking this thread get you something that will help you, then hijack away. The most important thing is you get healthier.

 

[BlueOcean]

wrapped up in being busy and taking care of everyone else that I was completely disconnected from myself.

I totally relate to this! My life was like this until I dedicated myself to healing. One way that I have been able to reconnect to how I feel is by having a good friend who is basically real family to me. Their constant support and each day asking me how I'm feeling. When I say good. They ask me to elaborate. So, now I am able to do the same to myself. When I begin to feel something, I stop what I'm doing and allow whatever emotion it is to come up to the surface and not push it away.

Having good friends is sooo incredibly important to the healing process.