Are suicidal thoughts always from the inner critic?

[Rose White]

It can also come from the Child ego state, wanting the pain to end, wanting get to get some peace.

I am developing awareness that the inner critic sometimes seems adult and sometimes seems child. I was rolling them all into one—the voice that says mean things. Perhaps I have to start teasing apart useful criticism from useless criticism? It all seems “mean” right now, but I know that even healthy people have inner critics that guard them and move them forward.

From you all’s feedback I gather that the IFS is a helpful way of identifying the source of the criticisms, either child or adult or somewhere specific to your own history or development.

Even though my therapist does not practice IFST, I am able to understand that in my brain there are simultaneous mental states moving through time together. I know that I “jump tracks” sometimes, due to stress or environment, switching from an adult state to a regressed state. I guess that eventually this process won’t scare me but will notify me of the need to take care.

 

[Anarchy]

Transactional analysis recognises Parent, Child and Adult ego states in everyone. One aspect of the Parent ego state is critical.

 

[Rose White]

Transactional analysis recognises Parent, Child and Adult ego states in everyone.

Yes, but we don’t talk about them explicitly very often, just in passing or as an insight. It sounds like IFST is more explicitly focused on parts or ego states as a necessary part for recovery.

One aspect of the parent is as critic. One aspect of the child is as critic? And does the adult have a critical aspect as well?

Suicidal thoughts from the parent are directed at the troublesome child, I’m guessing? Those from the child would be from an immature understanding of death, like @Anarchy mentioned, and probably directed at the parent? And suicidal thoughts from the adult self might be the self-compassionate ones, like @Mal Content mentioned? Other ego states could have their own perspective, I now realize from what you all told me. And I’m sure I’m grossly generalizing here.

The other aspects of the ego states are curiosity and expertise, right? Do all three ego states display curiosity and expertise? That probably depends on the individual, but I’m trying to get a baseline understanding.

 

[Freida]

I'm not sure that IFS and the 3 ego thing necessarily cross in explanations. Not that they don't exists, just that combining them may make it harder to understand each -- if that makes sense.

There are some really good books out there that describe IFS -- my favorite is The Body Keeps the Score. I couldn't get my mind around it at first - I thought my T was implying I was schizophrenic and hearing voices when she started talking about people in my head:)

 

[Friday]

So my question, is the inner critic the main source of depression and suicidal thoughts or are there other sources?

Definitely lots of other sources, exist.

My own depression & SI, just as an example, are from wildly different places than the ones you listed. And I’d strongly suspect that there are far more sources out there than just yours & mine.

But whether or not any of those sources apply to you? Don’t know.

 

[Rose White]

@Friday What?! Wildly different places? What else is there?! Are there like infinite sources of depression and SI?! I feel overwhelmed, but probably needlessly, because like you said I only need to worry about what applies to me.

@Freida I like overlapping systems because the constant is that they all apply to the same group—humans—so there has to be a connection. IFST founder Dick Schwartz got his ideas from family therapy—he saw how everyone in a dysfunctional family had a role, and thought he could apply that to ego states. I am a big picture kind of person, so I tend to zoom out.

 

[Freida]

I like overlapping systems because the constant is that they all apply to the same group—

ahhh -- yea if I mix to many systems up I get all confused ;)

 

[Tinyflame]

what other sources are there besides the IC for self-loathing?

I think that's something each person has to figure out on their own, as we are all unique. Working backward from someone else's reasons may not produce the same conclusions for yourself. Or rather, you're adopting reasons suited to them and not really yourself.

 

[Terry wall]

Ironically my desire for death comes from wanting life but feeling like it's been and being taken from me by things out of my control

 

[Mee]

I definitely identify more with the self compassion reasoning for wanting out.

It’s only that my husband has asked me not to that has kept me from repeat attempts most of the time :(. I am finding upwards progression but it’s tiring.

I think spiritual impact is also highly relevant here; Any opinions of what life and death mean / faith might have different impact on how we feel about life value depersonalising the subject. Whether we oppose or support euthanasia for example , or are pro choice or pro life. If there is misalignment here is it more likely to be inner critic than self compassion?

 

[Tinyflame]

I don't support euthenasia but I should be able to support euthenasia for myself, though? Especially since it is I who will pay the price. I've looked after other people, and do every day, should I not be allowed to do that for myself? That is not my inner critic. In fact, the overwhelming majority of anti-assisted-death advocates I know here wouldn't shed a tear over my demise, regardless of the means. If they can't stand you living, they sure as heck cheer your absence. JMHO. Not my existence they're championing for. You can't champion for anyone you exclude or don't accompany. In fact, You got it right IMHE @Mee , at times it's a self-compassionate thought.

 

[Still Standing]

Hmmm, I've read all your posts. Some I can embrace and others I don't relate to. When I am in the depths of battle with thoughts of suicide, I am struggling with depression, and feelings of being very tired of hurting. I feel an intense sense of being unwanted, marginalized, and hopeless for any human validation. Is this from the Inner Critic? Don't know. The momentary bouts of SI come out of nowhere and cause instant upset and momentary struggle, but I can pretty much get above them. I don't believe that I have ever noticed self-condemnation with all this and maybe this is simply a huge case of denial. The only thing that keeps me connected to this world is my faith in God. He created me, I have no right to end my life prematurely. This belief keeps me alive. But, I admit that this journey into therapy is new and I am still learning...