Listen or deny the inner critic?

[ILoveLife]

I did do an exercise yesterday, about core beliefs and self esteem: http://www.self-esteem-experts.com/support-files/self-esteem-worksheet-1.pdf (I printed it out and wrote it by hand)

Well, it did help to air out some of these criticisms. It's weird because so much of my stuff is linked to weird-seemingly-not-important events in my childhood, not particularly traumatic but that left a dent you know?

I'm working hard and hardly working at the same time, sick with the flu.

Just wanted you to know I appreciate your reply @Abstract
:hug:

 

[Abstract]

hi @Sietz ? I have realised that some of the non trauma but psychologically messed up stuff had a deep effect on me in many ways. Especially some that were confusing.

It sounds like you are finding more clarity. ? So sorry about the flu. Get better.

 

[NatBird]

-- the Pete Walker book, especially inner critic sections. many times it has helped me to focus on the feelings, memories driving the voice (as I call it) rather than than the bullshit it's telling me. once i have got to what's underneath i have often been able to
meet or sooth the need that activated the voice.

-- externalizing. sometimes i write what the voice is saying and my response which ranges from passive to rageful. i've found that having it out there and being able to read it back helps me to see how unreasonable and cruel that voice is. i have often looked and thought, i wouldn't say that to my worst enemy!

-- meditation helps, 'just noticing': thoughts, feelings, sensations arising and passing (i like to call this listening to the radio) or 'object of meditation' such as the breath, body part etc. i feel when i regular with practice i am able to notice thoughts and see that i don't need to get on the train with them. the practice focusing also allows me to notice the voice, say, 'oh there you are', then carry on with what i am doing. i also use skills from meditation to go into the thought. i've found when i've done this it's like i've been in the dark room with all sorts of monsters lurking in the shadows, when i turn to face the thought i turn the light on, its as though they go hide in a corner somewhere or evaporate.

-- speaking to a friend, telling them what the voice is saying has also helped.

essentially all my tactics are about getting just enough space between me and the thoughts. more and more i am seeing it as a defense mechanism that was installed to protect me - basically programming that helped me to survive, programming that is way past its expiration date!

this is what has supported me. the inner critic has been and still can be quite a struggle, it has driven me towards suicidality many times i have some innerstandning of how painful an experience it can be.

thank for posting.