Asking For Help

[Casey_03]

I find it impossible to reach out and ask for help, mainly because most, if not all, of my traumas have involved doing that only to be ignored or abused in response. But I find myself fantasizing about ways to kill myself almost 24/7. I have started therapy but it seems to be making me worse. I look around and think of who to turn to and realize that I don't have a single friend or family member to help me. I don't have anywhere to go and don't even have health insurance to pay for a hospital stay. And I don't even see any reason to try to get better anymore. I have no future, I just don't. There's nothing on the horizon.

 

[Jane.l]

The thing about the future is we don't know what it holds - we don't know what's round the corner. I understand where you are at I have been there, when everything is dark and hopeless and pointless and there is no one to turn to. It's a scary lonely place but think about if what you really want is an end to the pain and difficult emotions rather than life.

Have you told your T about your sucidal ideation?

 

[Casey_03]

No, I haven't told her. I'm afraid if I do, she will drop me as a patient. She is a new T and was hesitant to take me on, because we do sessions over Skype, as I live overseas. She expressed concerns that she shouldn't accept me as a patient if I am in any way suicidal. If I tell her, she will drop me and then I'll have nothing.

 

[Jane.l]

That's a very difficult situation, I think therapy where you can't be honest about how you are feeling seems unlikely to be terribly helpful.

Depending on what your ptsd is from are there any charity organisations that may be able to offer you some help ?

 

[greenleaf]

Hello @Casey_03 -- we will be thinking about you; we will hold on to hope for your future and we're really here.

 

[sun seeker]

I find it impossible to reach out and ask for help, mainly because most, if not all, of my traumas have involved doing that only to be ignored or abused in response.

Hi @casey, I hear you and wanted to respond because this resonates so much with me. Asking for help when you need it most and then being hurt instead of helped is such a destructive cycle. It's real, my life has included lots of this too.

I'm not sure what to suggest, I am pretty low at the moment too so I'll leave that to people who have more positive energy to offer. I do believe there are probably solutions for you. Keep in touch okay?

 

[RaggyDoll]

hi @casey, I understand what you are saying I have been there myself very recently and still am to some extent but I wanted you to know there is hope and things can get better step by little step. Are there are any helplines you can ring where you can speak to someone, just having someone listen can make you feel less lonely and hopeless. Is there anything you can do to distract yourself for a while?

Thinking of you and sending you virtual hugs xx

 

[Gordon Whidden]

Hey dear, I can understand your situation through which you are undergoing. So I would suggest you to start practising mediation which will really help you out.