Asking

[Sandstone]

This is mainly an achievement I wanted to share.

OH and I were in the car. I commented twice on how hot and humid it was, but he didn't turn on the air con. I recognised that I was doing what I was taught by my parents behaviour.

Of course, the way to get what I wanted was to hint obliquely at it, and of course the response to not getting it would be to sulk for the rest of the day. That was how it always worked when I was growing up, with the whole family being penalised for not being up to the mind reading required.

Add to that, Of course it was impossible to ask him or to switch it myself, because it wasn't my car, I wasn't driving, he paid for the petrol and I didn't deserve anything.

I'm quite proud of myself for being able to spot it and change it. Trivial, I know, but a positive step. It may be that explaining it also helped him to understand the mess in my head a bit more.

 

[rosey]

Well done. Good to hear a positive thoughts.

 

[GrayOwl]

Trivial by no means.
This is huge on the recognition scale.

It seems so small.
Yet without catching it there is no chance of cooling off.

Or, more importantly, having functional relationships.

Thank you. This is an illustration and a reminder of me and my behavior that I much needed..

It will be of great help to me too.

 

[City Slicker]

I really like hearing events like this - they are not small, I believe what you described is the foundation on how we make the long-lasting changes and positive gains in the way we see ourselves and the ways in which we communicate.

Well done!!

 

[Thizette]

I'm proud of you!

I experience the opposite a lot--jumping up to do something because someone hinted at it, or they express a problem and then it's obviously my job to fix it. I now ask, "Did you want to ask me to do something?"

 

[Sandstone]

I'm proud of you!

.
That brought a lump to my throat. An alien phrase for me

 

[Thizette]

.
That brought a lump to my throat. An alien phrase for me

I think it's important for people to acknowledge the progress of others, particularly those who share their experiences. Sometimes it's hard to be proud of ourselves, so we need to hear the affirmation from others. You showed personal growth and that's huge. :hug: