Ate Out By Myself

[red shoes]

:clap: Bravo!! Bravo!!
Breathtaking achievement, Blues!!!
And you even had an encore performance!!!
You deserve all the applause!!!

Red Shoes

 

[Blues in NYC]

Thanks all. And thanks Red Shoes on the encore comment. Made me smile.

Did this weeks outing last night with a different friend. Didn't go as well this week. I did better with the noise of being out. But I had my walls of numbness up from needing to fight against some stupid salesmen in an appliance store earlier that day. Plus the friend I met this week has had a tough time of it over the past few years. One of the things we have in common (or used to prior to my diagnosis and beginning treatment) is an uncanny knack to rationalize all sorts of unkindness to ourselves and overly high expectations coupled to a generally pessimistic outlook.

It was hard to watch him squirm with his own discomfort and listen to him verbalize all his internal machinations last night. Only further solidified the mortar in those walls of numbness.

This was then followed by a night of what I've described in another post as "humiliation nightmares." Blech. But my doc and wife and all you very good people here encourage me that doing these outings are really good for me, even when they don't go so well. So here's hoping that whatever one social outing I plan next week goes better.

I guess it's good to realize that once I get a bit healthier, not every day is going to be perfect. And it won't always be in my control or my fault. And regardless, the imperfection of days is no reason to avoid engaging in life.

Thanks all for your support and kind words. Though you are all miles away, your kindness really does make a difference to me.

~Blues

 

[trapped]

Blues-
Your successes have been really motivating and inspirational. I know I could never do what you have been doing- the eating out alone, going someplace new with a friend each week, etc- with where I am at right now, but I hope maybe one day I'll be able to do that. Right now, I'm happy with myself if I manage to get myself to go further than 30 feet away from my house on my own. Your post really motivated me to think about some of the things I'd like to accomplish though, such as the eating out alone, eating in a busy restaurant, etc, and it's made me at least start thinking about what I want and how to get there.

 

[fin]

You have been really inspirational to me also.

I would like to say I remember how you encouraged me with the twirling in the rain too I think I am a little rusty sometimes very (I may have this wrong but it isnt intentional if I have made a mistake I know I said somewhere about singing in the rain and the rest of it) . It is difficult some days are worse than others, and you do show me also how we can hope to be one day too I thankyou for this It is encouraging to remember How I want to get there and what I want also . It is real scarey some days to know how to say anything also~

Thankyou Blues thankyou
*hug and peace
~fin

 

[Blues in NYC]

Thanks for the continued kind words and well wishes, everyone.

I do still try and do this each week. Things have gotten a bit hectic around our home as we are trying to get an apartment on the market by July 1st for rental. And I've needed to step up and do some finer finish work that our builder, though good, is not great at (cabinet modification and the detail work on a couple window box benches).

Like Firehouse says on the first page, it DOES get easier. It can be exhausting. But the results sure are worth it. I still have terrible days, but it's great to have the option of getting out now on my better days.

Heal hippocampus, heal! :smile: