On Sept 21, 3013 I awoke to my husband of 5 months throwing me off the bed. As he had never ever been abusive before I was confused and extremely frightened. I jumped back on the bed and he put me on my stomach, grabbed my hands behind my back and accused me of wearing lipstick to work. As I tried to talk to him, to calm him, he ignored what I had to say and picked my body up and threw me against the door frame. He then proceeded to beat me. I tried to protect my head as he only threw punches on my face and skull. At one point I felt liquid dripping down and couldn't figure out where the water was coming from. At some point I realized it was my own blood. He had punched my skull so hard it split open. At this point I was begging for him to stop. He did, only long enough to tell me that he has "done it now" and would lose his military career.
As I lay there reeling from my beating, I try to crawl to his cell phone that I see on the floor charging up. I grab it and start to call 911. He tells me I don't need help where I am going. He said "I have decided to kill you tonight." I have never felt fear like I felt at that moment. He sat on my chest and starts to choke me and slam my head against the carpet. Later, as I look at the blood stains on the walls, carpet and furniture, I know exactly why I lost consciousness at that point. Everything went black.
When I came to he had then grabbed an ink pen and was going to stab me. I found strength that I never knew I had as I fought to keep him from stabbing me to death. As he was unsuccessful in this attempt, he didn't give up. He decided to tie me up. He took my leather belt and tried to bind my hands. As the belt wouldn't hold, he threw it down and grabbed the extension cord. He bound my hands together and said I am going to kill you. You are going to end my military career and that can't happen so you will die tonight. I begged and pledged for mercy. I had gone to bed madly in love with my husband and awoke to a nightmare that wouldn't end.
He took the belt he had earlier discarded and decided to strangle me. He put it around my neck and began to tighten it. I KNOW that the only going that kept me alive at this point was that I hooked my fingers on both hands on the belt against my windpipe (I had managed to free my hands from the extension cord as he wasn't paying attention to that at that point). He kept saying "God please give me the strength to kill her. She needs to die." Me, I kept praying as well. At one point he took his cell phone and made me video a goodbye to my children. That was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life.
He had been strangling me for almost an hour (he would tell me what time it was around every 15 minutes). He would tighten the belt, then loosen it. I don't know why, but he kept doing that. Finally I gave up. I couldn't keep breathing. Everything kept going black. I prayed for my children, asked God to forgive me for my sins, said to him "I forgive you" and let go. I felt myself leaving this world I felt a beautiful and spiritual peace as I left this world and felt God taking me to his side.
I do not know how long I was gone, but at some point I came back. When I awoke he had flipped me over and was binding my hands behind my back with the extension cord. He then threw my body back on the bed. He said if I can't kill you, you will watch me die. He found some prescription pills, got some whiskey and began to take them. I lost consciousness for a while.
When I came to, he had his phone again. He had decided to text his daughter to tell her goodbye but wasn't going to send it. He asked that when he was dead would I send it to his daughter. At this point I would say yes to anything. I blacked again and when I came to I was choking. I couldn't figure out what was suffocating me. He laughed and said I set off 4 bug bombs. They are ones you set off when you have spiders in your house. He said I put one in my mouth and the other 3 are for you. He then laid on my body and said we are dying together. I found strength I didn't think I had. I flung his body off mine and crawled to a window. As my hands were still bound, I couldn't open it. I kept coughing and wheezing and begging to live. I don't know why he did, but he opened a window about 2 inches and let me breath out of it. He said if I made a noise he would close it. I couldn't figure out how he wasn't gagging and wheezing. Maybe all the drugs made him not react.
Well I coughed and he shut the window. He drug me to the back bedroom and opened it a small amount. He let me have fresh air for a couple of minutes and then I was thrown back on the bed. I begged for my hands to be untied. He refused that but decided I could be bound in the front again. He then began taking more pills. I decided at this point it was either him or me. I told him where to find the phenergan as I didn't want him to throw up the pills and try to kill me again. He did this for a while longer and finally passed out.
I laid there for 5 minutes to make sure he wouldn't wake up. I found my cell phone, crawled out of the house and ran like hell and dialed 911.
Within 3 minutes the police were there. Guns drawn, they entered my home as I was taken by ambulance to the hospital. As I laid there during the ride, I cried as I watched the sun rise. I have never seen a sunrise so beautiful. My husband survived his suicide attempt and is now awaiting trial in jail. I will testify on Feb. 21 to his crime.
I have since learned that he was abusing steroids (shooting them up in extremely large amounts) and was hearing voices that were telling him to kill me. Since being in jail, he has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and is on medication to stop the voices. I have since then been diagnosed with PTSD, and I also suffer from severe anxiety.
My life is but a shell of what it was. I cry every single day. I had to have my scalp stapled back together and have severe back and neck pain as I have permanent nerve damage and discs that are torn and one that is ruptured. I take many pain pills everyday just to function. I am a teacher and my school district has made sure that not one person knows. They treat me like I was the perpetrator and their treatment has led to another victimization.
So this is me, or at least what is left. It has taken me more than a month of being on here, reading others stories, to get the courage to share.
As I lay there reeling from my beating, I try to crawl to his cell phone that I see on the floor charging up. I grab it and start to call 911. He tells me I don't need help where I am going. He said "I have decided to kill you tonight." I have never felt fear like I felt at that moment. He sat on my chest and starts to choke me and slam my head against the carpet. Later, as I look at the blood stains on the walls, carpet and furniture, I know exactly why I lost consciousness at that point. Everything went black.
When I came to he had then grabbed an ink pen and was going to stab me. I found strength that I never knew I had as I fought to keep him from stabbing me to death. As he was unsuccessful in this attempt, he didn't give up. He decided to tie me up. He took my leather belt and tried to bind my hands. As the belt wouldn't hold, he threw it down and grabbed the extension cord. He bound my hands together and said I am going to kill you. You are going to end my military career and that can't happen so you will die tonight. I begged and pledged for mercy. I had gone to bed madly in love with my husband and awoke to a nightmare that wouldn't end.
He took the belt he had earlier discarded and decided to strangle me. He put it around my neck and began to tighten it. I KNOW that the only going that kept me alive at this point was that I hooked my fingers on both hands on the belt against my windpipe (I had managed to free my hands from the extension cord as he wasn't paying attention to that at that point). He kept saying "God please give me the strength to kill her. She needs to die." Me, I kept praying as well. At one point he took his cell phone and made me video a goodbye to my children. That was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life.
He had been strangling me for almost an hour (he would tell me what time it was around every 15 minutes). He would tighten the belt, then loosen it. I don't know why, but he kept doing that. Finally I gave up. I couldn't keep breathing. Everything kept going black. I prayed for my children, asked God to forgive me for my sins, said to him "I forgive you" and let go. I felt myself leaving this world I felt a beautiful and spiritual peace as I left this world and felt God taking me to his side.
I do not know how long I was gone, but at some point I came back. When I awoke he had flipped me over and was binding my hands behind my back with the extension cord. He then threw my body back on the bed. He said if I can't kill you, you will watch me die. He found some prescription pills, got some whiskey and began to take them. I lost consciousness for a while.
When I came to, he had his phone again. He had decided to text his daughter to tell her goodbye but wasn't going to send it. He asked that when he was dead would I send it to his daughter. At this point I would say yes to anything. I blacked again and when I came to I was choking. I couldn't figure out what was suffocating me. He laughed and said I set off 4 bug bombs. They are ones you set off when you have spiders in your house. He said I put one in my mouth and the other 3 are for you. He then laid on my body and said we are dying together. I found strength I didn't think I had. I flung his body off mine and crawled to a window. As my hands were still bound, I couldn't open it. I kept coughing and wheezing and begging to live. I don't know why he did, but he opened a window about 2 inches and let me breath out of it. He said if I made a noise he would close it. I couldn't figure out how he wasn't gagging and wheezing. Maybe all the drugs made him not react.
Well I coughed and he shut the window. He drug me to the back bedroom and opened it a small amount. He let me have fresh air for a couple of minutes and then I was thrown back on the bed. I begged for my hands to be untied. He refused that but decided I could be bound in the front again. He then began taking more pills. I decided at this point it was either him or me. I told him where to find the phenergan as I didn't want him to throw up the pills and try to kill me again. He did this for a while longer and finally passed out.
I laid there for 5 minutes to make sure he wouldn't wake up. I found my cell phone, crawled out of the house and ran like hell and dialed 911.
Within 3 minutes the police were there. Guns drawn, they entered my home as I was taken by ambulance to the hospital. As I laid there during the ride, I cried as I watched the sun rise. I have never seen a sunrise so beautiful. My husband survived his suicide attempt and is now awaiting trial in jail. I will testify on Feb. 21 to his crime.
I have since learned that he was abusing steroids (shooting them up in extremely large amounts) and was hearing voices that were telling him to kill me. Since being in jail, he has been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and is on medication to stop the voices. I have since then been diagnosed with PTSD, and I also suffer from severe anxiety.
My life is but a shell of what it was. I cry every single day. I had to have my scalp stapled back together and have severe back and neck pain as I have permanent nerve damage and discs that are torn and one that is ruptured. I take many pain pills everyday just to function. I am a teacher and my school district has made sure that not one person knows. They treat me like I was the perpetrator and their treatment has led to another victimization.
So this is me, or at least what is left. It has taken me more than a month of being on here, reading others stories, to get the courage to share.
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