Hello my name is Martina. I am 31 years old and I have been through a lot. The biggest disruption in my life happened September 28, 2012. And I have no recollection of it. Just what the family, friends, and even my children. It is now the end of 2015 and I still haven't recovered completely. I am extremely depressed and I feel like no one knows exactly how I feel because the haven't been through what I have been. And today my best friend told me to look up the steps of grieving. And that is how I found this page. I am thankful. I am just hoping that anyone here can maybe talk to me a little more about ptsd because I still get a little confused. I am a very open person you ask and I will tell. I looking for some serious guidance. Thank you, Martina.
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Sufferer Attempted Murder Victim And Confused
- Post starter Martina
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I am very sorry that you had to go through with everything. As far as I know grieving is not how to heal PTSD but I could be wrong. I suggest therapy though. I get alot out of mine. What kinds of questions do you have? Anyone can have PTSD, it comes from either witnessing or having a traumatic event or events. That's the best easiest fastest way to describe it from my own opinion. I do read a lot about it and treatments. I've been occupied in therapy for my PTSD right now and it's very tough.
KwanYingirl
Diamond Member
If you are looking for professional opinions, I suggest you visit David Baldwins Trauma Pages website for scholarly articles on PTSD. Here is where you find support and solidarity. My 31 year old daughter is the only relative I have that has taken the time and concern to learn what PTSD is. It sounds in your post that you have some memory deficits around a traumatic event. That's common. It's the brains way to protect us. I get messages about my emotional state in my body. Right now I have had pain in my shoulder since I found out I'm losing my private health insurance. I had a reiki session today and she helped me identify the trigger. After the session, the pain in my shoulder all but disappeared!! Welcome to the forum.
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- #4
Well? I don't know how to handle everything. I was in the hospital until January 5th 2013. Then they placed me in a health center for one month. They said it was to make sure I could cope with everyday life. I asked for a therapists several times. They said I was to healed for it. I had no where to go and no where to live but they still thought it was okay to let meet out. It was my now ex that did this to
me. Its happened Sept 28th and our 8yr. Anniversary would have been December 18th. I have lost my home and can't cope with work. And because of that sincerely I didn't have a home. Dcfs took all my children. I should them the pictures ofy body I showed them the police statements and everything. They knew I needed help but they didn't even try. So I don't know how to handle everything. I lost job on army base, I lost my home, I lost my children, and now I feel like I am losing mind. I know for a fact it wasn't my fault. But I am still paying for it. So everything is coming back like it is my fault so I deserve to lose everything but it's not right. I have a brain injury. I guess I was about to die so they had to cut my head open. I don't know what exactly they did to me in the hospital. I just know that I am not me anymore and I feel like I am going insane. I am so scared. I feel like maybe I shouldn't survived. Why should I still be living if I have lost everything I love. I am just confused.
- Post starter
- #5
Thank you very much. And I will definitely look I to it. I truly appreciate any help I get cause I have no help where I am at right now.
RecedingMoonlight
Silver Member
Hello, welcome to the forum.
Yes, I think the best way we can help out is to ask us what you want to know about it. Something stood out in your message, and it's when you said you felt like nobody could understand how you feel. This is a feeling of alienation - of being different from others. Sufferers of PTSD commonly have this. And by the post following afterwards, it truly sounds like you have experiences that are warrant of a diagnosis. Speaking of which, have you been officially diagnosed at all? Getting an assessment might be helpful if you haven't yet.
Common symptoms of PTSD also involve survivor's guilt or inability to remember aspects of the trauma. Feelings of shame, helplessness and depression are common symptoms as well. They are valid feelings considering everything you've been through. However, there's people around to support you. Talking to a therapist and getting sessions with one would truly be beneficial to you.
Yes, I think the best way we can help out is to ask us what you want to know about it. Something stood out in your message, and it's when you said you felt like nobody could understand how you feel. This is a feeling of alienation - of being different from others. Sufferers of PTSD commonly have this. And by the post following afterwards, it truly sounds like you have experiences that are warrant of a diagnosis. Speaking of which, have you been officially diagnosed at all? Getting an assessment might be helpful if you haven't yet.
Common symptoms of PTSD also involve survivor's guilt or inability to remember aspects of the trauma. Feelings of shame, helplessness and depression are common symptoms as well. They are valid feelings considering everything you've been through. However, there's people around to support you. Talking to a therapist and getting sessions with one would truly be beneficial to you.
KwanYingirl
Diamond Member
Oh, Martina, I am so sorry to hear what you've been through. Shame on your doctors not to help you find a therapist. Any victim of violence really needs therapy. It's a long road but you can regain much of what you lost. I had a chemical brain injury along with many traumas in my life. I can relate to how disrupted you feel with your thinking. My therapist encouraged me to take a course at college to get back my thinking. It did help and eventually I got my Bachelors degree. After my chemical exposure I lost my home, but not my children. They were teenagers then. I'm disabled but can work part time.
There have been many helpful things I have done to help my thinking. Acupuncture, polarity therapy, school, psychotherapy. Several years ago I met my current therapist who is a trauma specialist. He has really helped me heal the anger I had at the world for all the crap that has happened to me.
Looking back, I see that at any point in time, I was where I needed to be at the time. For instance, I got sober 24 years ago. I never could have faced my traumas if I was still drinking. Be gentle with yourself. And absolutely find a good therapist. I don't know what state you live in, but I do know most states have a victim compensation program that will give you money for therapy and getting your life back. The detectives that supported me after I was strangled and left for dead told me how to access it in my state.
If you're unable to work, you can apply for Social Security Disability. It is complicated and time consuming. It won't be of immediate help to you. I can't believe the hospital discharged you without support. Our health care system gets worse all the time. Well, anyway, in my case, the police were very helpful. They probably have a female officer who can help you get some help.
Remember that you're getting stronger every day. It seems hopeless sometimes when the brain can't even add simple numbers or follow a recipe. You can regain what you've lost.
There have been many helpful things I have done to help my thinking. Acupuncture, polarity therapy, school, psychotherapy. Several years ago I met my current therapist who is a trauma specialist. He has really helped me heal the anger I had at the world for all the crap that has happened to me.
Looking back, I see that at any point in time, I was where I needed to be at the time. For instance, I got sober 24 years ago. I never could have faced my traumas if I was still drinking. Be gentle with yourself. And absolutely find a good therapist. I don't know what state you live in, but I do know most states have a victim compensation program that will give you money for therapy and getting your life back. The detectives that supported me after I was strangled and left for dead told me how to access it in my state.
If you're unable to work, you can apply for Social Security Disability. It is complicated and time consuming. It won't be of immediate help to you. I can't believe the hospital discharged you without support. Our health care system gets worse all the time. Well, anyway, in my case, the police were very helpful. They probably have a female officer who can help you get some help.
Remember that you're getting stronger every day. It seems hopeless sometimes when the brain can't even add simple numbers or follow a recipe. You can regain what you've lost.
- Post starter
- #10
Thank you Jnean. i truly appreciate it i could use all the hugs i can possibly get.
Ghostybear73
Diamond Member
I have been through what you have and have lost everything in the process as well. I am living proof that you can get it all back, but it takes a lot of work. I have been in therapy, which has helped tremendously, are you in therapy now?
Welcome to the forum
Ghosty
Welcome to the forum
Ghosty
- Post starter
- #12
Thank you very much. I appreciate all of your information about this because I haven't ever been through this before and so I am learning. But I am truly thankful for everything you all have been telling me.
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