Other Auto-immune disorder?

[NicG]

So today I was told that I have an auto-immune disorder. Which is the reason I've been in pain pretty much every day my whole life. This pain etc has considerably contributed to my mental health issues since I was quite depressed as a child, never fitting it because I couldn't run like the other kids, was continually told "stop limping, you're just doing it for attention", or "you're not sick, you just want to get out of class", or "it's not heavy, you should be able to lift it, stop being lazy", blah blah blah.

My abuser also acted like this and told me a lot of things like this. "Stop hurting, you're such a b**** for being like this, get better already," "Being around you is such a bore when you're like this" (often after hitting me himself).

I've been put on prednisone, a low dose but if it goes any higher it has side effects like depression, mood disturbance, great difficulty sleeping...
And the thing I have will apparently turn into arthritis eventually. If it hasn't already...

I just want to go a day without pain. I just want to go a day without memories of what I've been through because of that pain. I just want to sleep without nightmares or waking or fear. I don't think I can handle any more pain...
I guess I don't really have a specific question. I just needed to reach out to people who will actually understand why I'm so broken up about this. Thanks for reading guys.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I also have chronic pain and the thing I found most helpful was a pain psychologist. You can learn ways to better deal with the pain, and keep it from making your life miserable. You learn to meditate, how to pace yourself, it is a really good investment. The body and mind are so connected so when you work on one, the other gets better. I'm not totally better, but I handle life so much better with the pain now.

 

[Lucycat]

@NicG Did they tell you the name of the auto immune disorder? There are very many of them including Type I diabetes, Psoriasis, Arthritis ( as you mentioned) and hypothyroid disease to name but a few.

 

[KwanYingirl]

@NicG do you have a public pool that offers water therapy for people with pain. I have had good results with yoga too.

 

[NicG]

@DharmaGirl interesting, there are a few around me, one works next door to the psych I see for PTSD. Hadn't quite made that connection though, so thankyou, I'll look into it.

@Lucycat the one they thought was most likey was "Psoriatic arthropathy", it presents itself in a lot of ways but mine would be swelling and pain around the joints. It's like a different joint in pain every day, I'm so confused that it's taken 20 years for somebody to figure it out.

@KwanYingirl there are some local pools near me, haven't been to them recently but it sounds like it's worth a visit. I actually love yoga, I'm just not allowed to do it at the moment because of inflammation in my hands (catch 22, right?) but I'll get into it when I can.

Thanks for the suggestions guys, I guess I feel a little less hopeless now :)

 

[DharmaGirl]

How about pool yoga? I used to do that and I loved it.

 

[NicG]

There's pool yoga?! That sounds fun! I suppose I could use yoga to tame my anxiety too. Silver linings?